Not my knickers

[Butternutsqoosh]

Found some black lacy knickers in the wash this morning. Not mine, not my kids, was I being unreasonable to ask my husband whose they were? They were mixed up with his washing on the bedroom floor. He's now not talking to me because I "accused him of being unfaithful " I didn't, I asked him whose they were and why they were in his washing. It has transpired that my daughter put put them on the floor in our room because they were in her clean washing and weren't hers. He says I was being pissy but I wasn't, I was just asking whose they were and why they were there. 🤷🏼‍♀️

I would be concerned and you are not unreasonable to ask, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that there isn’t a simple explanation that will come to light.

They originated in your DD's bedroom amongst her clean clothes. Your DD's slept over at a friend's house and, for whatever reason, someone in that household's tried to help out by washing yesterday's clothes. DD packs up her bag, but accidentally the "sleepover mum's" knickers end up there too?

I need to identify if the OP has a knicker loving cat before I can think straight

I'm only really asking if I was unreasonable to ask him where they had come from, he says he doesn't know. I don't think it's unreasonable to ask? I'm sure it's an innocent explanation but he went mad that I'd even asked

He's guilty.

@Justaboy, I dont know!! And thats my issue.
Socks seem to have a life of their own and apparently knickers do too.

Ive never had an issue with tshirts or trousers or bras for that matter which would disappear/appear. So are some items of clothings able to appear/disappear at will and not others?

His reaction is weird.

I had a similar situation when (pre-kids) I found a random pair of knickers in my laundry basket. In the end I realised that I must have scooped them up by mistake when picking up my clothes from a bench in the gym changing room and they'd got thrown in the basket along with everything else.

At no point did I assume my DH had been unfaithful and when I showed them to him, he certainly didn't get defensive, he just looked as confused as me!

This has happened to me with leather look leggings that:

a) I would never wear, they looked cheap

b) weren't my size

Left on the floor next to my bed in a ball

I was very up and down and going through ivf at the time, asked my husband and I burst out crying because I wondered why he was cheating on me. He burst out crying? Turns out they were his sisters! She bought them and they didn't fit and asked him if he could pass them to me to see if I wanted them

Though this was a month before I found them and he's kept them in a bag and then emptied the bag on floor that morning in a rush and forgot all about it

Basically a giant misunderstanding but we jokingly call it "pants gate"

The drawers would be bad enough (though could be explained by a robbing cat etc) but his reaction was all wrong.

Trophy cats are real. Ex MIL had one. It was notorious in their ‘hood.

Were they clean knickers?

Trophy cats are real. Ex MIL had one.

We've got one.

He brings gloves, knickers, scarves, hats, socks and various other soft items and small toys back home. I used to be forever going round the streets, knock ing on doors and saying "Is this your hank, Eileen? Have you lost three pairs of knickers as well?"

If you DH was having an affair would he be stupid enough to bring home the OW's knickers?

Not saying this is the case with OP but a friend of mine found out her DH was having an affair when his mistress tucked a pair of her lacy thong knickers in his trouser pockets deliberately. I also worked with a woman who deliberately left her handbag (yes, her actual entire handbag) at her lovers flat, knowing his partner would find it and that their affair would be exposed/DP would throw him out.

Trophy cats are real. Ex MIL had one. It was notorious in their ‘hood

Ha! Really Awright? My two are either sleeping, grooming, fighting or eating. Neither of them would deign to transport a pair of knickers...

Depends on your tone when asking really.

He brings gloves, knickers, scarves, hats, socks and various other soft items and small toys back home

Blimey. I might have to revise my opinion about this. Is he getting them from inside people's houses?

I usually find that this sort of defensiveness or anger is a result of a guilty conscience but I hope there is an innocent explanation in this case.

Aww OP poor you. What a nightmare not being able to get to the bottom of the story.

Not read all replies yet so I hope you’ve found out who they belong to. I can’t help thinking it sounds dodgy though on his part. If you’ve exhausted all avenues then what other explanation is there other than he’s had them in his pocket?

So my DS is 9 and can't even put his own pants on the right way round, I have no reason to suspect DH of doing anything untoward, and I suppose my shocked tone when asking him may have sounded accusatory, and hence his reaction is also not unreasonable. He has since been out for a run and when he came back I asked him how it was and he said "awful, why do you think? You e accused me of being unfaithful " I said I hadn't I had simply asked him a question that I thought was reasonable. He's still not talking to me, I'm happy to accept that he doesn't know where they have come from, I do t know either and neither do my children, his haven't been over to stay for months so I guess could be theirs but not really their size either 🤷🏼‍♀️ he'll talk to me eventually I guess. Isn't lockdown fun? 🥴

Is DH the kids dad? If not do they travel to another parents house? I ask because more than once items of my ex's gf have made their way into my dd's clean washing when she returns home to me. To then accidentally end up in my underwear drawer and then accidentally WEAR them before I realised they didn't actually belong to me. How embarrassing

Check his eBay purchase history for Used knickers...worn during last years marathon....cleaned to eBay standards...(with a cotton bud)

Him going mad is such an odd reaction

If he has nothing to hide, he’d laugh and find the whole thing just as weird as you

Something’s off!

Like schad’s cat, anything left unattended was fair game. To be fair, food was the favourite thing - resting meat was the biggest prize. And cake. But all sorts of trophies were taken home. You often saw her playing with a pretty scarf or a pair of drawers. When SIL had her children, mittens and footwear were robbed. It got to the point where you expected to see mismatched extremities.

She was known as ‘M’s bastard cat’ . I thought she was fabulous!

Could HE be a size 12 OP?

If my husband found underwear that wasn’t his and confronted me in an accusatory manner, I’d be furious!

I’m not sure his reaction is all that weird.

Does your daughter go to the gym or get changed at school with other people etc? Swimming?

I have brought a stranger's clothes home from the gym before. Not knickers thankfully!

Part of my job is investigating fraud. We have been taught that someone who reacts to reasonable questions by attacking the questioner in this way is more likely to be guilty.