Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be angry at man in shopping queue

178 replies

NameChangeInfinite · 07/04/2020 23:35

Huge line outside Tesco’s this afternoon, wait was over 20 mins.

Man in front of me was puffing away at a cigarette the entire time. Lit up twice during the wait.

Tried to shield my nose and mouth as well as turning away from him to avoid smoke. But even with 2 metre distance I was definitely inhaling his smoke.

Eventually I lost it and very crossly asked him to think of others in the queue having to breathe in his smoke. Explained that we don’t know who has COVID or not and whether we can catch it through second hand smoke.

He barked at me to “shut up you ugly cow”.

Left me really shaken and close to tears.

If I was in the wrong the happy to be told so. But we don’t know if this virus can be transmitted through second hand smoke so surely he should be more considerate?

OP posts:
triedandtestedteacher · 08/04/2020 17:35

Poor you. I had a similar experience last week which I posted about. Had an altercation with a woman and her husband because they queue jumped. Got a load of abuse off then and really felt shaken afterwards. He's an absolute knob. Hope you're ok

acatcalledjohn · 08/04/2020 19:10

What physical harm does smoke outside from someone 2m away do you?

If I can smell it I can only assume it's in the air I breathe. It may depend on the direction of the wind, but still. If someone chooses to risk lung cancer that is their prerogative, but don't get to decide for me. And I'm not one who suffers from asthma, but a sufferer could end up with a full on attack.

It certainly does a fuck tonne more harm than being called out for it.

But who cares about others nowadays?

Like I said, the day that smoking in public is banned cannot come soon enough.

SharronHeller · 08/04/2020 19:20

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

opticaldelusion · 08/04/2020 19:22

He was rude but whether we can catch it through second hand smoke.. did you really say this? Dear me.

Carrie7469 · 08/04/2020 19:23

I can understand you being annoyed but you handled it very badly

SwerfandTurf · 09/04/2020 02:52

Cigarette smoke makes loads of people cough. Why on earth would you do something to trigger coughing at a time of such anxiety?

Besides it’s extremely rude to inflict second hand smoke onto people who can’t move away, especially when the smoker could easily have smoked his cigarette beforehand or afterwards.

Honestly agog at the suggestion women should just laugh off verbal abuse from men.

GlummyMcGlummerson · 09/04/2020 03:06

He barked at me to “shut up you ugly cow"

God why do men always go for this insult? Says a lot about TV em when they think the best way to offend us is to insult our appearance.

YANBU, although some people on MN think smoking fags is a fundamental human right, it's gross to do it in a queue

AllesAusLiebe · 09/04/2020 03:20

I don't get this one.

Why is it a problem in the first place?

This guy was horrible and rude and there is no excuse for the way he spoke to you, but why are you trying to police others' behaviour in an outdoor area?

SwerfandTurf · 09/04/2020 03:39

Because his behaviour was directly negatively impacting on others?

Honestly on what planet is it considered acceptable to smoke in a queue, never heard of such a thing.

BossAssBitch · 09/04/2020 04:01

YANBU. People who smoke in queues are thick, ignorant twats, and that goes for any queue not just supermarket queues. Guy sound an absolute bell end, you have to feel sorry for his wife, kids, anyone who has the displeasure of being associated with him Hmm

BossAssBitch · 09/04/2020 04:05

What physical harm does smoke outside from someone 2m away do you?

Well a quick google tells me this, so a lot of harm, actually Hmm

‘Even with up to 25 feet between you and someone with a lit cigarette, you could still breathe in 46 percent more particles compared to air without cigarette smoke. The damage cigarette smoke causes to the respiratory system can have long-term consequences for both children and adults’

AllesAusLiebe · 09/04/2020 04:26

I genuinely don't see why this is such a big deal.

I'm an ex smoker (only smoke when on holiday) but I stood in a queue outside a supermarket today and vaped. Is that just as problematic?

This is honestly quite a shock to me that people seem to feel so strongly about it. I thought it's outside, it's legal . . .so what?

ravenmum · 09/04/2020 07:38

@AllesAusLiebe You don't see the difference between vaping in a queue and vaping away from other people? Do you also not see the difference between farting in the open air and farting in a lift?

Rosebel · 09/04/2020 09:43

It was a maximum of 20 minutes as I doubt he was actually smoking all the time. They were 2 metres apart. OP made a big deal out of it and he responded.
Not saying she should laugh it off, most are saying if you can't cope with the reply don't say anything.
I can't believe how many people suffer from cigarette smoke, hope you don't walk down the road either. Imagine how awful it'd be breathing in traffic fumes.

2020vision10 · 09/04/2020 10:43

Oh ffs... What a stupid comparison Rosebel... So because we have cars and things for transport we should also put up with cigarette smoke too?

Smoking is a choice, when I smoked I did it away from people because I'm not a cunt.

2020vision10 · 09/04/2020 10:43

And I've known several who chain smoke especially when outside so can well believe it.

2020vision10 · 09/04/2020 10:48

Swerf... It's only acceptable with inconsiderate idiots. I use to smoke and I wouldn't dream of doing it in a queue, by doorways or anywhere that people would be forced to endure it.

It's a disgusting nasty habit, it's antisocial and toxic... Can't believe I was ever stupid enough to do it.

AllesAusLiebe · 09/04/2020 11:17

@ravenmum that's what I'm saying, I didn't think it was a big deal. I still don't understand why this is a problem, seriously.

Rosebel · 09/04/2020 11:34

No if you are that worried about smoking you should be that worried about pollution too.

SwerfandTurf · 09/04/2020 11:36

Ludicrous comparison Rosebel.

2020vision10 · 09/04/2020 11:58

Swerf... Definitely ridiculous comparison, can't be bothered to argue with someone so ignorant.

ravenmum · 09/04/2020 12:20

@AllesAusLiebe You don't understand why it is not very thoughtful to stand right near someone who can't move away without losing their place in the queue, and make a horrible smell?

ravenmum · 09/04/2020 12:22

My bf is a smoker, I am not - and he apologises if he gets smoke anywhere near me. I've never had to ask him not to smoke in my presence. Some people clearly get it.

funinthesun19 · 09/04/2020 12:31

To be honest I think he would have given the same response whether the op asked nicely or not. She wasn’t even personal with him, she was just sharp. He was the one getting personal because he was getting pulled up on rude behaviour (nobody wants to breathe in cigarette smoke). Instead of using his brain and realising that maybe he was being inconsiderate with his yucky cigarettes, he resorted to insults - says more about his character and the type of person he is than the op.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 09/04/2020 12:36

I’m not a smoker but I can’t see the harm of someone smoking outside. Clearly he shouldn’t have been so rude.

Swipe left for the next trending thread