To be angry at man in shopping queue

[NameChangeInfinite]

Huge line outside Tesco’s this afternoon, wait was over 20 mins.

Man in front of me was puffing away at a cigarette the entire time. Lit up twice during the wait.

Tried to shield my nose and mouth as well as turning away from him to avoid smoke. But even with 2 metre distance I was definitely inhaling his smoke.

Eventually I lost it and very crossly asked him to think of others in the queue having to breathe in his smoke. Explained that we don’t know who has COVID or not and whether we can catch it through second hand smoke.

He barked at me to “shut up you ugly cow”.

Left me really shaken and close to tears.

If I was in the wrong the happy to be told so. But we don’t know if this virus can be transmitted through second hand smoke so surely he should be more considerate?

No I don’t because I as sure as can me that my immune system has the capability to deal with a cold or flu. Covid19 is completely unknown and is killing previously healthy people. Forgive me if you think that is an overreaction.

I'm no expert but I would've thought you stand way more chance of catching it from the handles of the trolley and the shopping items you're taking off the shelves and bringing into your home.

Not that it didn't make him anti-social and selfish though.

Yanbu, he was out of order to call you that, that is inexcusable.

But if you had said politely it would have been better.

I don't see how the virus could be transmitted through second hand smoke. Obviously inhaling it isn't good for anyone but in the time and distance you have talked about, it won't have hurt you. A better idea than having a go at him would have been to suggest the person behind you swapped places with you, not everyone is bothered by the smell of cigarette smoke.

However the way the man spoke to you was appalling, what an ignorant git to talk like that.

He was two metres away, though, right?

I don't like breathing in second-hand smoke and I would have thought he was antisocial. But it's not like he was blowing it in your face, is it?

If it was really getting to you, maybe email Tesco and suggest they make the queue area non-smoking.

His response was nasty but you admitted to being cross first. It wouldn't have even occurred to me the virus could be transmitted this way especially if you were 2 metres apart.
I wonder if he was anxious at being out and dealing with it by smoking and then annoyed because you had a go at him.
I think you were both unreasonable tbh.

I'm extremely shy and hate confrontation, and would only have coughed elaborately in your position, but as a third party, if i had heard him speak to another woman like that i most certainly would have spoken up for you and have done so in the past. I abhor casual rudeness and abuse, it's a sign of weakness and lack of intelligence to come up with a cleverer retort, and cowardice to not admit he was in the wrong. He was trying to defend himself from yout correct point by attacking you.

Irrespective of whether smoking outside is illegal or not, in a situation like that i would feel it is frowned upon and when asked to stop, a gentleman would most certainly have apologised or at the very least, held his tongue.

I often wonder what happens to the idiots and bullies you meet at school. Now o know, there they are, queuing outside your local supermarket. I wish you had rammed him with your trolley.

When i say correct point, i mean about yuk to smoking. I dont think corona is transmitted through smoke but gag gag gag to be standing nearby.

Actually, if physically close enough, one could (theoretically) catch the virus from second hand smoke because there will be tiny droplets of saliva being exhaled with the smoke. Large, deliberate exhalations.

I often wonder what happens to the idiots and bullies you meet at school. Now o know, there they are, queuing outside your local supermarket. I wish you had rammed him with your trolley.

Maybe they're stood in supermarket queues, talking to stranger 'crossly' instead of nicely and ramming them with trollies when they get defensive about how they've been spoken to in public?

Worra, you don’t know me, you weren’t there and you don’t know how I spoke. Yes for me I spoke crossly. That is in contrast to how I normally am which is on the deferential side. My cross is another’s politely assertive.

Ok well I don't know what to say then, other than you should've made that clear in your opening post

NameChangeInfinite .. I meant to post this here not direct:

Reposting:
If you can get it by breathing or talking then I'd imagine it can certainly be transmitted by exhales smoke too.

And although the supermarket queues are 2m the later tests are showing transmision can actually occur at 3m.

I don't think you were unreasonable to approach and highlight - do you think your tone got his back up? Or maybe that you asked out loud and he felt embarrassed in front of other people.

And actually no-one on this thread knows you and none of us were there.

At least I don't think so?

Trust me I'm not so keen on second hand smoke but if he was ahead of you in the queue then surely the 2m doesn't apply? Just stay further back until you enter the store and by then he'll have had to have put it out?

No one complains about something when they're not feeling annoyed, otherwise they wouldn't speak up at all, would they? Just because the OP spoke up when feeling annoyed doesn't necessarily mean that she wasn't polite, does it?

And I would think it's possible there could be a risk of catching COVID-19, not from the smoke but potentially from droplets along with it?

Either way, the man was unnecessarily aggressive in his response.

Just because the OP spoke up when feeling annoyed doesn't necessarily mean that she wasn't polite, does it?

She spoke to him 'crossly' and he responded to her in a similar way although he was much worse with his insult.

As a PP said, if you're going to speak to people in that manner you have to grow a thicker skin.

The OP was left 'really shaken and close to tears' in her own words.

So someone smoked a cigarette 2m away from you and you didn’t like it, said so and rudely asked them not to, so they rudely refused?

It might seem wet, but I think in your shoes I'd just have gone to the back of the queue. Not having to breathe in smoke is well worth an extra 10 minutes' waiting.

I do feel for you OP. I cannot stand smoking and I can understand why in these tough times and unusual circumstances you said something. Normally, we can walk away from a smokey situation but you couldn't really here.
I also disagree with anyone who opposes you calling him out on it.
He may well have been on edge though- hence the smoking.
However, for your own peace, forgive him in your heart and mind.
Think about what you can do to if this sort of thing reoccured. Also what can you do manage this situation- shop elsewhere/ different time?
All the best to you

I think everyone is stressed with the situation and snapping more than they would normally. This leads then to act in ways that are completely out of character, so we should cut them some slack.

Having said that, personally I would have moved away and started again. I'd rather queue for 10 minutes longer than be forced to stand behind someone who is chain smoking for any length of time.

Well i had another dick who kept no distance at all, right behind my arse, i tried to move away twice, he wouldnt get it... Then i asked him kindly to keep a distance like everyone else, he went barking NO!!! Pile of shit

Selfish idiot. I was at a bus stop before lockdown it was lashing rain, granny's, DC, all huddling in the bus stop, while some woman in the corner of the shelter was smoking away not a care in the world.

Well he is obviously a horrible individual with a very unoriginal line in comebacks.

We can comfort ourselves with the fact that he is at about 14 times more risk from smoking.

Isn’t it illegal to smoke in bus shelters? It’s really antisocial to smoke in queues. People are so inconsiderate and rude. You were right to say something, I think.

Ink That did make me laugh should not laugh at such things though