To be angry at man in shopping queue

[NameChangeInfinite]

Huge line outside Tesco’s this afternoon, wait was over 20 mins.

Man in front of me was puffing away at a cigarette the entire time. Lit up twice during the wait.

Tried to shield my nose and mouth as well as turning away from him to avoid smoke. But even with 2 metre distance I was definitely inhaling his smoke.

Eventually I lost it and very crossly asked him to think of others in the queue having to breathe in his smoke. Explained that we don’t know who has COVID or not and whether we can catch it through second hand smoke.

He barked at me to “shut up you ugly cow”.

Left me really shaken and close to tears.

If I was in the wrong the happy to be told so. But we don’t know if this virus can be transmitted through second hand smoke so surely he should be more considerate?

It probably is illegal though the Gardai don't enforce it. I don't think anyone has ever been charged with smoking in their car with DC it is against the law, it happens.
There are many considerate smokers too, not to tar with the same brush.

We can comfort ourselves with the fact that he is at about 14 times more risk from smoking I don't find that funny at all, if you changed that to fat it wouldn't be funny either, both are approx 14 times higher.
@ladybirdsarelovely33 What's funny is I read your earlier post I thought you came across as a kind caring poster.
Awh well.

Well he is obviously a horrible individual with a very unoriginal line in comebacks.

We can comfort ourselves with the fact that he is at about 14 times more risk from smoking.

This is... ghastly.

And I completely agree with pp... can you imagine replacing that with fat or old

You sound like an "obviously horrible individual" yourself tbh.

I’m a smoker. I would never smoke in a queue even with people six feet apart. That’s dickish. But sorry, you think you can get Coronavirus from second hand smoke?

He was being an oafish cunt to smoke in a queue. But dense people exist amongst us much to my chagrin. I also would have told him off crossly and no doubt been told to fuck off too. You have every right to be cross and every right to challenge his behaviour. Take no notice of others here saying you were wrong. The problem here is that when boorish oafs are challenged they will respond as per their intelligence allows. So it will never end well unfortunately.

It is a dick move to smoke in a queue....however playing devils advocate maybe the man was highly stressed going on the shopping trip due to the virus and needed something to calm him down before going in.

Also life is so restrictive now that maybe he resented having someone else tell him not to smoke, just another thing to be told not to do!

Yeah he was an arsehole but you could have went about it a bit better.

He was being inconsiderate to you but he wasn't doing anything illegal.

I don't see how smoking is any different than breathing regarding risk of the virus.

The smell of cigarette smoke doesn't bother me but I understand a lot of people hate it. I really, really hate the smell of rose to the point it makes me feel sick when I smell it. If someone was stood in a corona-queue with me and dousing themselves in rose perfume I'd just politely explain that it made me feel sick and ask if they could stop it.

If they refused I'd ask the person behind me if they could switch places.

At no point would I "very crossly lose it and ask them (you mean tell them) to think of others" and continue to lecture them on some made up science

He was standing 2 meters away.

He sounds like a prick. Forget about him.

Forget about this thread too. Truely. Close it and try to have a nice day/evening. Trust me, you’ll feel much better. It’s not going to add value to your day. X

Inkpaperstars: We can comfort ourselves with the fact that he is at about 14 times more risk from smoking.

ladybirdsarelovely33: Ink grin That did make me laugh should not laugh at such things though

The smoker was wrong to answer aggressively; as others have suggested, most people are feeling more stressed than normal, understandably.

Perhaps the OP losing it at his stress-reliever didn't help his stress levels either.

However, you two are disgraceful.

Inkpaperstars I'd rather comfort myself knowing he said what he thought than hoping I didn't have a nasty judgmental vindictive woman behind me.
You aren't clever and you aren't funny.

ladybirdsarelovely33 would you have found it funny if Inkpaperstars had said the same about a foul-mouthed obnoxious 80 year old?

tinnitusqueen: I'm extremely shy and hate confrontation, and would only have coughed elaborately in your position [...] I often wonder what happens to the idiots and bullies you meet at school. Now o [sic] know, there they are, queuing outside your local supermarket. I wish you had rammed him with your trolley.

I would also prefer to be next to a smoker than a passive-aggressive person coughing elaborately whilst encouraging others to use violence.

You should all, along with the OP, order this, www.amazon.co.uk/Nonviolent-Communication-Language-Life-Changing-Relationships-ebook/dp/B014OISVU4/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=no-violent+communication&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1586310918&sr=8-1.

P. S. the smell of smoke makes me feel nauseated and prolonged causes migraine and feeling battered after 3 neighbours have died within 48 hours.

As well as us all staying at home to help the NHS perhaps smokers should all give up

What an arsehole. It's really not on to be smoking in queues where other people can't move away and are forced to inhale your smoke in order to get their meant to be infrequent so they can't really just leave and come back later shopping done. Even more so given that the virus we're all worried about targets the lungs.

Well, yes, really all smokers should give up. There are absolutely no benefits to it and it does affect those around you.

I'd never dream of smoking in a queue (or a bus stop, shop doorway etc). There is no need for it, and if the man felt stressed and in need of a cigarette he should have found a space away from others and had one before joining the queue.

I do agree that you need a thicker skin if you want to challenge strangers on their behaviour though. The way he spoke to you was unacceptable but thats how many people react when they feel embarrassed/wronged. It's not the right way to behave but it's not out of the ordinary.

NameChangeInfinite,
What a Loser .
Omg, similar happened to myself and my little girl yesterday.
We popped out to get my mums medication from the pharmacy ( 5 mins away ), my mum lives with us and my daughter asked if she could get a ice pop from shop ( newsagents ) next door .So of course I said yes.
So we walked to the shop and saw a customer was getting served so we waited outside as you do .Then this guy ( muppet) just walked past us and straight in like we were invisible .???
Well I was with my child so I didn’t say what I was thinking and before I could say anything the manager told him there was people before him waiting.
The world is full of ignorant ?????

Well, I'd be happy to replace it with fat. I'm fat myself. Doesn't matter if I or anyone else is fat, old or a smoker! Obviously in those cases I would be saying isn't it sad that we are at greater risk. I know people who smoke and I am very sorry they are a greater risk. If this man in the queue had been fat I would have made the same comment despite being fat myself. It's about the person, not the risk factor

Obviously I don't really wish severe illness on this man, but I would ask any of you defending him...do you know a single remotely decent man who would have responded like that? I don't. He clearly couldn't give two shits about anyone else or their feelings so a bit of black humour at his expense is the very last thing I'll be worrying about.

I'd rather comfort myself knowing he said what he thought than hoping I didn't have a nasty judgmental vindictive woman behind me

Don't follow.

Good on you for saying something. He was being a selfish twat virus or not. I don't see how asking to switch places in the queue is going to help, the OP stood up for the others in the queue not just herself who might be affected by it, who would want to stand near him?! The smell of smoke makes lots of people feel sick, no one should have to switch places in a queue or go to the back because of some inconsiderate tosser.

I don't care if he was stressed either, we are all stressed, how are non-smokers supposed to cope with stress?! Plus his actions are making other people more stressed. You say he lit up twice-a quick fag I would say let it go but twice in the space of just over 20 mins?! Not on at all, I do feel for you OP after what he said no wonder you were upset. I bet everyone was pleased you said something. Usually I'm all for not saying anything in most situations but smoking is a different matter, most smokers don't realise because all their smoke is going behind them. Maybe he will think next time in a queue so you did a good thing.

BulbTherapy,
Yes I agree with you totally about needing a thicker skin but not everybody will stand for being called a ugly cow or even a cow .
I know I won’t .

Not in the UK but our lockdown includes alcohol and cigarettes as non essential. Absolutely brilliant.

Explained that we don’t know who has COVID or not and whether we can catch it through second hand smoke.

Wouldn't his breath carry your way too, only you wouldn't smell it (assuming no garlic involved)?

Honestly, he was rude and offensive (not to mention misogynistic) both for smoking at close quarters and for his response to you, but I think you should have tried to control your anxiety. Did you think he would stop or apologise?

YANBU he was being disgusting. Who the hell thinks it’s ok to puff over other people whilst queuing. You had no escape. Fucking gross.

Horrible ignorant man. Just take comfort in the fact that you'll probably never see him again. Imagine being his wife or colleague or neighbour

Not in the UK but our lockdown includes alcohol and cigarettes as non essential. Absolutely brilliant.

Which country is that?

The sooner smoking and vaping is banned everywhere apart from people's own homes the better. It cannot be good to breathe in that crap.

tinnitusqueen

I'm extremely shy and hate confrontation, and would only have coughed elaborately in your position,
and scared the bejesus out of everyone else in the queue? You do realise if you cough, or so much as clear your throat, you will get dirty looks from everyone within earshot who will automatically assume you have CV?

Actually, if physically close enough, one could (theoretically) catch the virus from second hand smoke because there will be tiny droplets of saliva being exhaled with the smoke. Large, deliberate exhalations.
@Lifeisabeach09 is absolutely correct. It hadn't actually occurred to me previously as most people don't smoke when in queues. We are told that in situations where we are singing (church, karaoke) and shouting (e.g. football matches) it is easier to transmit the virus because we are expelling droplets with great force. The same must apply for smoking.