"he can just be quite childish and act like a spoil brat who wants his own way all the time... he doesn’t like me using my phone..."
I'm so sorry Pumpkin, but you are in an abusive relationship 
. So much of what you have posted here all but shouts this from the rooftops.
"I just want things to be ok... yes there’s been issues in the past but I thought recently things had improved and that finding out he was going to be a dad had made him grow up a bit...clearly I was wrong"
I think it's time to accept that things will NEVER be OK as long as you are with this man. Time to stop concentrating on what he has done (which is appalling) but instead to focus on WHY he has done this. And there's no getting away from the conclusion that he has done it because of the type of person he is - and that he is not going to change - ever. He has absolutely no reason to change.
His family reinforce to him that his behaviour is fine with them. Even you reinforce him, by bending yourself out of shape to give him what he wants ("dh said he couldn’t handle my illness and me sometimes being depressed about it but I’ve tried my hardest to be as happy as possible and not let it bring the mood down.") So why would he change? Life is just peachy as it is, in his opinion.
"I’ve been through so much in my life already and I don’t have the strength to walk away at least not right now..."
Yes, you have been through a lot (hug). And he is putting you through even more. He's a bully who never apologises; doesn't see anything wrong with what he's done; makes you think you're in the wrong for being aware of his behaviour; treats you with a total lack of respect. And I'm sure he's perfectly aware that you feel you lack the strength to leave him. After all, he's spent the three years of your marriage sucking that strength away from you with his lack of respect.
And as for "He wanted a baby more than me" - that goes back to the type of person he is again. Someone mentioned upthread about this type seem to work from a script. And sadly, part of the script is "knock her up, because then she's tied to me through the child forever ". Abusive men like to lock you in, emotionally and practically - having their children does both. His wanting you to have his baby is sadly on a par with not knowing why you could possibly be upset at him sharing your intimate health details so cavalierly.
Which brings me back to when you posted "he doesn’t like me using my phone" . Straight out of the script. Abusive men like to isolate their prey - makes it so much harder for them to get help, to object to the abuse, and even to see that they are being abused. Because isolation means the prey have nobody else's experiences to compare their own and no-one to point out that their experience at the hands of their abuser is so different from what it should be.
You are already pretty isolated; no family and no work colleagues. And now he doesn't like you using your phone - well, that's got to make being in contact with your friends a bit more difficult, doesn't it? Make you less likely to ring for a casual chat, start just phoning them about specific things, then only important things, and then - lose touch a little?
I was so happy when you said the house is yours, not shared. You have no need to go anywhere. He can be asked to leave, and he does have somewhere he can go. He can return to the warm embrace of his poisonous family. Where I'm sure they will reassure him that he's done nothing wrong.
I really do think it would be better for your mental and physical health if he were to move out. Maybe present it to him as temporary, maybe use vague phrases like you want a little space to consider things and the lockdown is making that difficult so he should move to his parents for a bit. But really, best if you plan to remove him from your home altogether.