To be upset with my husband and his friend

[Pumpkin108]

Hi everyone,

So I'm 8 weeks pregnant (first baby) and I've been doing OK though for me it's not that easy as I have an underlying health condition and the whole thing makes me feel quite anxious but I've been trying to stay really positive and telling myself I'll be ok. My dh has been pretty supportive. Anyway the other day, he was working from home and left his laptop open when he went to do something... I came in from garden and saw messages he'd been exchanging with a work colleague (and friend) who he's know about 1.5 years which basically entailed her being unpleasant about my pregnancy... One such comment was 'oh she'll need to take laxatives before the birth otherwise she'll shit herself' and my dh replied with the laughing laughing emoji...

There were other comments about how my body will be broken afterwards and I'll have to wear pregnancy nappies etc and how I shouldn't have a homebirth because of my 'disease'

Aibu to be hurt by this? To think it's none of her business and that she was rude and hurtful and my husband didn't really stand up for me either?

Who cares if he accuses you of snooping? You just have to own that! Yeah lucky you did otherwise you’d never know what he’s been saying. Don’t let him push you around like this. He. Is. In. The. Wrong. Don’t forget that.

Tell him to distance himself from her because shes a nasty cow. Failing that post the screenshots and tag the nasty cow so everyone can see what shes really like.

I am sure none of the women here have ever joked with a friend about their husband's cock size. Never.

No never, assume you have which explains while why you're such a vile person!

Hey are you ok?

You seem to be afraid of his reaction. He should be afraid of yours!

This ^^

Also @Imcneil003 - I don't know why you are minimising this. This isn't about dick size.
He has disclosed OPs personal, very private and sensitive medical information to a pretty much complete stranger. Then went a step further and joined in with that stranger joking about it and mocking it. His wife's discomfort, what her body is going through and is yet to go through and medical procedures. All that whilst she's carrying his baby.
Not to mention she asked him to not share the pregnancy news with ANYONE.

He's vile.

I'd be utterly devastated by my husband's behaviour.
I'd question the relationship.
Don't be misled by the fact she's engaged.
My friend went to the wedding of her husband's mistress. Not long after her husband left her for the new bride.
Groom and my lovely friend distraught.

You really can't let this go.

"I am sure none of the women here have ever joked with a friend about their husband's cock size. Never."

I haven't actually, but even if I had made one joke about it, I wouldn't have a long running sniggering conversation about it and run my husband down in constant chats. I pity yours if you don't see the problem.

I don't mean to act like the forum monitor, but I think it's about time we all started ignoring a certain person on here. You all know who I mean. (They last posted at just before 18.40.) Ignore, as the poster is getting off on the attention. All they keep doing is repeating the same ridiculous garbage. Don't give them the attention they crave. They are clearly taking the piss.

@Pumpkin108 Hope you are OK, and PLEASE don't tolerate this

Posted too soon!

@Pumpkin108

Please don't tolerate this behaviour from your husband. CONFRONT HIM NOW

@lmcneil003

I have NEVER heard a woman EVER mock her husband's penis......I would assume that's the remit, both male and female, of the absolute dregs of society...whom are so devoid of intelligence and conversation that the need to mock their partner.

What stops them is that they are decent people with self respect.

Being so disloyal and crass is NOT THE NORM for most people.

It's the poor OP's odious bully of a husband that is the exception.

His sister was mortified as anyone with a bit of cop on would be.

I honestly cannot think of a single man that I know that would indulge in such thrashy conversation.

It's the remit of the dregs of society...both men and women.

YOU are allowed to discuss it with your friends. YOU are the one this is happening to. YOU are the one growing this little baby.

I don’t think your problem is with this nasty gobshite of a woman. It is solely with him.

He is the one sharing your personal details. He is the one being disrespectful. He is the one ‘laughing’ about it.

I couldn’t stand that. You deserve better. They deserve eachother.

I’d be ripping him a new one. And if he accuses you of snooping tell him you wouldn’t have to if he was acting like a real man instead of like some giggly schoolboy.

You are the important one here. Your feeling should matter to him. If they don’t? You are better off without him.

Op- hope you’re ok?

I want to message that nasty cow on behalf of you!! Horrid woman! Can’t you shame her? Show the messages to her colleagues/boss ??

I think you need to stop telling him anything about your pregnancy. Take someone else to scan appointments and find a birthing partner that's not him.

If it wasn't lockdown, I would leave and go to my parents house. He's been divulging information about you that he has no business doing.

I very much doubt he speaks highly of you, or she wouldn't dare talk like that.

She didn't come to see the dogs...she came to see you as others have said. When she saw you were attractive, she later decides to let him know you won't be after having birth.

What colleague visits to see dogs...bloody nonsense.

He doesn't have your back....and it won't get better. I hope you have a support network outside of him... because you will probably need them down the line.

Unless he sees that he could lose you as a wife, he won't change.

Again....stop sharing information about you and the pregnancy with him. He can't be trusted.

@billy1966

lmcneil003, I have NEVER heard a woman EVER mock her husband's penis......I would assume that's the remit, both male and female, of the absolute dregs of society...whom are so devoid of intelligence and conversation that the need to mock their partner.

Brilliant LOL!

Obviously @lmcneil003 is the sort of person that you describe, because they made it clear - (in their post at 18.39) - that THEY would do it.

That description you posted there is a perfect description of lmcneil003 judging by all the things they have posted on here anyway!

Oh Immcneill we found out your kryptonite haven't we? Your insecurity over your physical prowess in the bedroom?! Hmm I got news for you I have not once complained about my DH's penis but go ahead and make sexist generalizations you're on a winning streak so far aren't you?!

It seems like I'mincel003 is the only poster who thinks that this is acceptable.

Hey all so I confronted my husband.... he said he just went along with her because apparently that is how she is with everyone - rude, says it like it is and thinks she knows best... He says its her culture...anyway he agreed it was rubbish and he ignores her...i guess I’m glad to get it off my chest but it’s been a pretty bad weekend. Thanks to all of you for supporting me

I'm glad you've brought it up but honestly? You believe that crap?

I'm sorry, but you're not going to have an easy time with this man.

But the question is why was he telling her your business to start with

@lmcneil003
I am sure none of the women here have ever joked with a friend about their husband's cock size. Never.

Never mentioned it, let alone joked about it.

Does it make you think, knowing that you are hugely in the minority here?

Well done OP. A simple explanation based on a misunderstanding. I thought as much.
Please don't listen to the posters who harangue you into splitting up.
While you OH has not acted with great integrity, I'm glad you have found peace of mind.

A previous poster put it better than me, but @lmcneil003 it says a lot about you that you seem to think that loads of people go around taking the piss out of their partners genitals behind their back.

Has backfired sarcastically challenging everyone as if you'd show us up to be hypocrites, leaving you looking and probably feeling pretty foolish.

I've known a few women who have made cock joke sizes (in front of their husbands as I think some sort of power display - look how much I can get away with) and they have invariably been textbook mean girls who have nothing to offer except what they think is cutting wit but it's actually just cunty spitefulness.

Thankfully I've only had to endure them as acquaintances / colleagues because I don't like being friends with absolute dickheads.

You say, it doesn't matter how I found out, the fact is, this is what you are saying behind my back.
Sadly, if this is how he behaves, realistically, your marriage is worthless.
This is before, imminent economic crisis, a baby, & all the evident challenges you have ahead as a new parent

Imcneil003

I can't imagine ever mentioning penis size to even one of my closest friends, or even my DSis, who I'm close to; as a result of our childhood history we talk about intensely private things. The idea is really inappropriate and i would consider it very disrespectful to my DH. So I definitely don't understand why you would do that.

Pumpkin- DH’s response was dismissive

You need to contact her and tell her manager too.. you can’t allow her to speak about you like this!

And what on earth is she doing visiting your DH to ‘see your dogs’? How bizarre?!

And what does your DH mean when he’s blaming her ‘culture’ ?? I don’t know anyone’s ‘culture’ that approves of speaking about pregnant women like that?! Yes culture are all different but talking about a pregnant woman ‘sh*ing’ herself is just downright vile and disgusting. Potty mouthed cow went too far and your husband is a spineless blob for allowing her to speak like this.

Rant over