To not understand why he doesn't want me to meet her?

[Shortbreadaddict]

Ex met his girlfriend a year ago, and moved in with her 6-7 months later. He normally picks/drops the kids off, but for the past 2 week I’ve dropped the kids off. He lives 10 mins away, so we walk to his house. Tbh I offered to drop them off hoping to meet his girlfriend. First time I dropped them off, I got to his house knocked on the door and he asked me why I didn’t call him when I passed x train station. He apparently sent me the message to call once I pass x train station. I just didn’t see it cuz my phone was in my bag. When I got there, I asked if I could say a quick hello to his girlfriend. I’d like to meet her. I didn’t want to come in, just say hi at the door. He said she wasn’t home. Ok

Fast forward til yesterday, I dropped them off again. I called him when I passed x train station like he told me to (he lives 2 mins from there) I then see him walk towards us, he just said a quick hi took the kids and walked off. I thought that was weird, he obviously didn’t want me to drop them off at his house.

I sent him a jokey message later saying ‘ thanks for letting me your girlfriend, she’s lovely’ but he didn’t respond.

I’ve asked him a few times if I can meet her, he either changes the subject, makes a joke or doesn’t respond. We got on OK, no problems. I just don’t understand why he’s being so weird about this. It’s not a big deal, just want to say hi and meet the woman my children are around. I’d invite him in if I had a boyfriend and he dropped the kids off.

^And I might extend the invitation to his girlfriend, but these are people that my children spend half of the time with anyway.*
But that’s irrelevant. The girlfriend isn’t part of your household and therefore you can’t invite her, and nor could she come.

I think it's strange you think you need to invite his girlfriend that lives with him and has your children part of the time. Surely it's a given that she will be invited if your ex is... since they live together. My ex's girlfriend has always come to my daughters birthdays I don't need to invite her it goes without saying she's my ex's partner and a big part of my daughters life.

But that’s irrelevant. The girlfriend isn’t part of your household and therefore you can’t invite her, and nor could she come.

But neither is the ex and he's invited?

But neither is the ex and he's invited?
He’s allowed under the regulations. The girlfriend isn’t.

I'd personally just be doing your own thing until this is over. Just have a party then.

He’s allowed under the regulations.
Actually, he isn’t allowed either. I was wrong. The child can move between households. If the party is in the OP’s house, neither the dad or girlfriend can come.

He isn't allowed to go to your little party. Children can change households between separated parents. Adults can not enter other households.

I am getting the strong impression OP is one of the people not taking lockdown seriously at all, which is probably the most worrying thing about this thread.

@aSofaNearYou yes OP obviously has problems with entitlement. She feels entitled not to obey lockdown rules the same way she feels entitled to meet the girlfriend like the girlfriend has no say in it. OP needs to have a good look at herself.

Ffs! You CAN’T have either of them at your “little party”.

This might be a good time to learn to separate your life a bit, tbh.

@aSofaNearYou I am taking the lockdown seriously! I'm in London, and I go out once a week to do my shopping, and to drop the kids off at their dads. That's it! I genuinely thought since the kids are going back and forth between me and ex, I could be around him. Apparently not, I'll have to do my own thing then or postpone it. I just know DS is going to be sad not having his dad there at his party. Maybe I'll ask ex to do something for DS at his house when he stays for the week, so separate parties.

Maybe I'll ask ex to do something for DS at his house when he stays for the week, so separate parties.

Do you really not think your ex would organise something without your input??

I don't mean to accuse you of anything I am just genuinely very confused by why you would start this thread in the current circumstances. If my ex suddenly started wanting to get the kids off me out of the house, and didn't particularly entertain the suggestion of meeting his girlfriend.... I would immediately assume it was because of lockdown and not been surprised or offended. I can't imagine being surprised by someone not wanting to meet me right now.

Surprised the OP has got such a hammering here.

It's natural to want to meet someone who is regularly caring for your children and her ex is being weirdly avoidant. She may not have the legal right to do so, but a step parent is an important person in a child's life (so not the same as a gymnastics class to use a weird comparison upthread).

The comparative horror over the OP sending a text is OTT as well.

Do you really not think your ex would organise something without your input??

OR his partner because let's face it , it is usually the women who initiate these things !