To take kids to visit my mum on her birthday (from afar)

[Beingyellow]

Ok I will probably get flamed but I'll put it out there anyway. I am all for following rules but also think common sense needs to prevail sometimes. So here's my scenario....

I have been going shopping for my mum. She is on her own now, less than a year since my dad died. She's in her 60s and it makes sense for me to shop and drop stuff off for her rather than us both shopping seperately during this period. I usually just put it on her doorstep, ring the bell and walk to my car and we shout across to each other to say hello etc. Only been twice so far as I shop once a week.

It's her birthday next week, so I planned to do the same as above but take the family with me when I drop it off (along with her present). We would all stand way back and not go near her.

Is this really that bad? I would have to come back and pick up family but its on the way to my mums anyway. My kids are old enough not to run over and hug etc...they understand (7, 9 and 11)

England’s chief nurse Ruth May said yesterday

But please, I ask to remember Aimee and Areema. Please stay at home for them.

The guidelines and rules apply to us all to keep us all safe.

Wouldn't she find it more upsetting? Certainly my parents felt they'd rather just be on their own than see everyone but not be with them. (Same context - dropping shopping off).

But I'm not talking about going to London park with 3000 people? That in no way compares to what I've said. I haven't even been taking my kids walks because the paths outside our street are prime walking spots. I'm talking about being a safe distance from my mum to cheer her up on her birthday whilst dropping off food that I would be doing anyway. She lost her husband (my dad) in the summer. It's as if people don't think pre coronavirus deaths matter. I'm sick of all these comments about loved ones dying and how would I feel if that happened and it being my fault. I know all too well about death at the moment and how much it hurts. I don't need people guilt tripping me into thinking about how it would feel if a loved one died. My mum is no more likely to catch coronavirus if my family are in the car with me or not.

I know you are not. You are one person who thinks the rules don't apply to them. So are they but it is one person times three thousand.

I think it would have resonated better with the nurse had said stay home for the six children who now don't have a mum but sadly all the people flouting the rules are beyond help. Too thick, selfish, arrogant.

Feeding your mum is essential. Anything else is just you.

Children aren't immune from coronavirus. Children are dying too now.

I'm sorry your dad died. I'm sorry your mum is bereaved. I just don't want what I am going through for you or anyone. This is a horrible illness for many people. I've spent 11 days in bed.

It's fine you are going to see her anyway and I'm sure the kids will be glad to get out for a bit even if it is just in the car. It's not like you are doing a extra journey or anything

OP don’t ask on here. Use your common sense. Things/activities which are unreasonable in densely populated areas of e.g. London are perfectly reasonable in rural areas. I am horrified by the level of policing of our neighbours that is going on.

BTW, why are people posting photos of victims? Does it make you feel big and clever?

You are one person who thinks the rules don't apply to them. So are they but it is one person times three thousand

Exactly. I'm a nurse and if any of my colleagues or I die during this I'm not really interested in what the reasons were why everyone thought they were special.

If you're going to bend the rules to suit you, OP, at least have the common sense to get on with it and not start a goady post about why you're special.

Why is she 'vulnerable'?

I missed it, if you mentioned it, sorry.

No it doesn’t make me feel big or clever

It’s for those thinking that the rules can be bent they shouldn’t be for this very reason

How many times do we have to ask people to stay at home and how many times do people have to be told the rules and guidelines apply to everyone

Ffs do you not listen to those working in icu it’s for everyone’s benefit

I think anyone posting pictures of victims to win an argument on the internet should be bloody ashamed of themselves.

Absolutely take them OP, you clearly understand about social distancing and keeping everyone safe.

I took my kids to stand at the end of their grandparents drive today to hold up their sign that they made them and wave. My kids are relatively recently adopted. Before us 3 families disappeared completely from their lives. There's no way on god's earth I'm going to sit back and let my children think that's happening again. My children's mental health is essential. A little bit of compassion goes a long way with common sense.

Happy Birthday to your mum 😊

There is no argument to be won

I am right the guildlines are for us all to keep as many of us safe as possible we should absolutely all be following them

If people need reminding in such ways then so be it that is exactly why Ruth May made the statement

I think anyone posting pictures of victims to win an argument on the internet should be bloody ashamed of themselves

Normally I would probably agree with you, but not in this context. Nurses and doctors are dying trying to stop other people from dying, and people intent on bending the rules clearly need to be reminded of that.

You need to have a bloody word with yourself if you think posting those pictures is the right thing to do.

And you would use any means to win an argument?

You disgust me. MN has gone as low as it can possibly get.

Agreed Frankiecandle. Disgraceful behaviour, but I'd expect nothing else from the curtain twitching, spiteful busy bodies.

How many times do we have to ask people to stay at home and how many times do people have to be told the rules and guidelines apply to everyone

And who on earth are you to tell people what they can and cannot do? Get over yourself. Nowhere in this fictitious book of rules that you lot keep harping on about does it say that you can't have a conversation with someone in the open air if they are a safe distance away.

Why is that Frankie

My colleagues working in icu are at high risk and some are dying we working in many other areas in the nhs are at risk time and time again it’s been asked from nhs staff doctors, nurses, management, experts and so on to follow the my fb is full of pictures of staff holding up signs asking people to stay at home

If you are offended then complain to mhhq

But there is no argument to be won

I would do it, but I wouldn't take my children into the store if that makes sense? There is no point in protecting your mum if you then take your children into the shop. if they are old enough leave them in the car, or take your partner if you have one. if not then sadly I would say you shouldn't take them as that would be an unnecessary journey to go home and pick them up.

But if you can avoid the children in the shop I would say do it and forget the neigh sayers. We have to protect against passing this on and yes awful accidents could happen but they probably won't.
ultimately this is a moment of humanity and should not be repeated. Use zoom/face time more frequently, I can't tell you how happy I am to use it.

P1nkHeartLovesCake

FFS what bit of stay at home, do people not get. How many more times does the government need to say it??

Honestly it’s like dealing with a load of over grown toddlers...people not listening finding a way to bend the rules that little bit, the reason death rates are going up...nurses and children dying and for what the advice to still be ignored

At least on video call or even the good old telephone the children can speak to her properly rather than shouting

exactly, well said 👍

Imagine if every person on this thread decided to load their children in the car to wave at loved ones. So imagine fifty cars with one person. Now fifty cars full of kids.

Noone ever thinks they will be a statistic.

The people whose it is to work out statistics calculate you are more likely to have an accident with young children in the car than without. Partly due to distraction and decreased concentration.

Those fifty single occupant cars Vs
Cars with kids which
*stop for petrol
*The kid just wants a bottle of water from the shop

• Molly's-pulling-my-hair fight causing you to have a minor fender bender. Now you have to exchange insurance.
• Little one runs up for a run
• The eleven year old trips on the pavement and cuts his chin open. Not serious but it just won't stop bleeding. So now the small ones are at Grandma's house while you go for stitches and and a fresh serving of infection from the hospital.

My threshold is if I found out, following a journey I make, that someone has contacted the virus from me on that journey and subsequently died could I still justify the journey to myself?

So picking up my prescription, doing a weekly shop of food for meals, bog roll, etc. are things it's reasonable for to be doing - within the spirit of the lockdown. I would be devastated to know I had harmed someone but could perhaps argue I could justify my journey.

You shopping for your mum and dropping shopping off falls within that could the same be said for any of your family members going on that journey?

The kids are staying in the car or at least not going right up to the house, so not going to be coming into contact with anyone. They're all old enough to understand no hugs, no running up the street and splitting your chin open, and no stops for a bottle of water. Op's doing the journey anyway, if she needs petrol, she needs petrol, regardless of where the kids are.

In her sixties is not old!!!!!!! And its just a birthday, bloody nowt special, can't believe this question has been asked. Why hasn't your mum sorted a delivery out with the local neighbourhood group ( or you sort that, if she's so incapable!!!!)