AIBU? Circumcision?

[Poppygirl96]

Me and my ex have recently split up and we have a 5 month old son. He told me when I was pregnant that he wanted to get our son circumcised due to his religion and that it was really important to him. I was heavily pregnant tired and not really thinking much about it so I blindly agreed. However I have been thinking about it a lot and really don’t want our son to get unnecessarily cut even if it is for religious reasons.

My ex says it’s also to keep him clean but I don’t see the point. We haven’t found anyone to do the surgery as our son was prem so we couldn’t and now there’s COVID-19 so we can’t go now. If I bring it up and go against him, I know my ex will be pissed and it will cause a huge argument especially as it’s so important to him, his mother and his religion.

I don’t want to ruin co-parenting with him and cause issues so I’m not sure what to do/say. AIBU in saying I don’t want to go ahead with it?

Also I apologise if the thread has come up twice, was a glitch on my phone. Oops

Don’t do it! It’s akin to FGM in my opinion and should be considered child abuse, religion or no religion. Don’t chop off a part of your child’s body.

Sod that. It would be a flat ‘no’. Co-parenting doesn’t mean agreeing to your newborn having body parts removed for absolutely no reason. When your son is old enough, he can decide for himself.

Circumcision for genuine medical reasons is perfectly reasonable. Any other reason such as his and his mum's non-existent god wanting it done it frankly abhorrent. It's on a par with FGM in my book.

I am firmly in the camp that says this should be your sons choice and not one forced on him at this point. I have read arguments on both sides, and I have seen nothing to suggest it’s needed as a routine procedure ( least of all cleanliness - you can teach him to wash, right?) I confess to being an atheist, but really, it’s mutilation , and if it was being done to your daughter it would be illegal. Time for it to be illegal to mutilate boys too.

Absolutely not unless medically necessary

That's what I told my ExH, a flat no. He is not a strict Muslim so it's just for show. Our son is a mix of 2 cultures and unless he has a medical problem with his foreskin or he suddenly decides he wants to be circumcised then it's not happening.

Its sick how somebody believes child abuse is acceptable becasue some being in the sky tells them its alright. fucking vile.

No no no no no. Neither of you has the right to decide whether another person goes through life without an important part of their body. The foreskin has a vital role both sexually and in terms of protecting the penis. Religion shouldn’t trump the human rights of that child. It’s a hideous unnecessary practice.

To me it is genital mutilation in the name of culture/ religion. I can't believe anyone would want this for their child without it being for a medical reason.

SIGH. Circumcision on males is NOT the same as FGM on females. Why do people always say this on these threads?

They are 2 completely different procedures!

@Poppygirl96 You should not have posted on here about this. You will not get rational and sensible responses at all.

I think you're perfectly within your rights to say no - and I'm Jewish (and DS is circumcised). Sister (married to non-Jewish guy) had no strong feelings one way or another about it with their son, but husband didn't want it at all, so it was a no. Harder and more sensitive obviously when you've separated.

No way would I allow someone to mutilate my child

It fills me with revulsion. Surely best let your son decide when he is old enough.

Watch American Circumcision on Netflix. Please do not do it.

Unless it's needed for a medical reason then it's a no.
It is mutilation, as it's permanently disfiguring the body.
The majority of men are able to keep clean, without chopping bits off of them.

Is there a danger they will get some religious Elder to do it on their time? If so It would be putting ethics aside and making sure it happened surgically with baby's mother there to comfort him. Even though it is not a necessary surgery unless it becomes necessary.

Male genial mutilation is no different to the female version. Defenceless infants are having their bodies irreversibly butchered for no medical reason. The practice is backward, barbaric and should be outlawed.

Unfortunately, it won’t be and we all know why.....

Its disgusting to mutilate a childs genitals, we don't approve of mutilate girls genitals to keep them clean and make them "tidier" so why boys? It doesn't help keep them clean, just read up and make sure you know how to keep it clean without damaging the foreskin. Some people try to pull it back and end up scarring it which makes it tight so it does need removing.

No one said it was the same procedure, they
said it was akin to FGM. Both involve removing parts of the body for religious reasons, the way the procedure is carried out, or the invasiveness is irrelevant.

I am with @pleasepleasepleasehelp and @Echobelly on all points

Unless it’s for a genuine medical reason, NO! Don’t do it

OP You should not have posted on here. You would not get rationale pro and against arguments on here. AIBU is lethal.

@pleasepleasepleasehelp in what way is it different?