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AIBU?

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Original poster

WWYD? Grandad’s war record

261 replies

TrickyGrandad · 02/04/2020 13:13

As a part of my son’s work sent home from school, there’s an investigation project into relatives experience of war, rationing, evacuation, service, that sort of thing.

WWYD if you knew that Grandad’s war record was highly controversial? My child never met this Grandad but knows where he fits in the family tree, obviously.

Would you use this as a learning experience OR keep it under wraps for when they’re older. Safe to say this isn’t an aspect of war that school are exploring.

OP posts:
Makeitgoaway · 02/04/2020 13:15

How old is the child?

Original poster
TrickyGrandad · 02/04/2020 13:15

Y6

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 02/04/2020 13:15

It depends entirely what you mean by highly controversial.

Jokie · 02/04/2020 13:16

Depends on what part of controversial? Could you use it as a learning experience? You don't mention the age of your son so difficult to gauge.

E.g. grandfather shot for desertion but was really suffering from shellshock/ptsd. You could use this as a teaching moment to show and explain what it is, what changes have happened since etc

Crackerscheesescabbyknees · 02/04/2020 13:17

Say his grandfather was a Nazi, I wouldn't be encouraging a year six pupil to discuss that. It would follow him into highschool and open him up to all kinds of bullying.

ofwarren · 02/04/2020 13:17

I think it depends on what was controversial about it.

Marieo · 02/04/2020 13:17

Erm it depends what you mean, if he was a conscious objector then that would actually be interesting and offer a different discussion point. If he was dishonourably discharged for something really bad then maybe not a good idea.

SeriouslyRetro · 02/04/2020 13:18

Was he a nazi?

Christmastree43 · 02/04/2020 13:18

I'm almost 30 and my gran dad's memory of the war when I had to ask him this was about rationing and when he first got to taste a banana lol. He was born 1940.

Your Y6 child's GP must be very old to have a controversial war record?

Original poster
TrickyGrandad · 02/04/2020 13:18

He was a high ranking Nazi officer.

OP posts:
NellGwynsPenguin · 02/04/2020 13:18

Keep it under wraps.

Make up some stuff for school.

ElsieDear · 02/04/2020 13:18

Well it completely depends on what the controversy was. If your grandfather did something very bad it might be better to leave it until your child is older. I wouldn't want him to feel that this great grandfather's actions somehow define him now. I would also be concerned about how his school friends would react.

Christmastree43 · 02/04/2020 13:19

In that case I'd just say you don't know

pinkyredrose · 02/04/2020 13:20

No definitely don't let on!

MayTheGodsBeEverInYourFavour · 02/04/2020 13:20

You don't know. It's none of the school's business.

FourEyesGood · 02/04/2020 13:20

Leave that grandparent aside and focus on the other branches of the family tree.

ElsieDear · 02/04/2020 13:20

I high ranking Nazi! Confused I would keep this quiet for now. It is something private for you and your family to deal with in your own way.

Makeitgoaway · 02/04/2020 13:20

Schools need upate some of this work. On the basis that someone born at the outbreak of WW2 would now be 82, there can be very few y6 children with living relatives who have any memory of that time.

I wouldn't make Grandad focus of the piece but could include a few lines about his not everyone had an honourable war, depending on what it issue is. Desertion or Conscientious Objection wouldn't fall into that category IMO and would be interesting to discuss with DS.

YangShanPo · 02/04/2020 13:21

Yes I would keep that one quiet, what about his other Grandad?

YeahWhatevver · 02/04/2020 13:21

Nah, leave that buried. Kids csn be little shits, seems like perfect ammunition for years of torment for your DS at the hand of others

Makeitgoaway · 02/04/2020 13:22

Oh XP! That is tricky, he could maybe mention that part of the family was on the opposite side

billy1966 · 02/04/2020 13:23

Honestly, for the time that is in it....I'd not go there.....if there is any chance it will bring additional stress to the house.

YangShanPo · 02/04/2020 13:23

Also agree that he must be over 100 years old.

ofwarren · 02/04/2020 13:23

Yeah, I wouldn't be giving him this information at the moment.
What about from his other grandad?

YippeeKayakOtherBuckets · 02/04/2020 13:23

I think it could be quite interesting for him to explore. I assume this is his Great Grandparent so there’s distance, and you can use it to talk about all sorts of things. He’s yr6 so the right age to learn about the Nazis and the Holocaust if he hadn’t already.

It’s not something I’d keep hidden from your son.