Best covid 'brags' you've heard?

[EveryDayIsADuvetDay]

My favourite was a friend talking about a neighbour that she doesn't even like very much.He is a part time assistant to a funeral director - rushed off of his feet, so brave, so busy...

I was so irritated I checked on line - seven covid deaths n the entire bloody county, none reported in that town.
And it's a large county.

None personally, but I have heard/seen a few people on TV claiming they haven't left the HOUSE for 2 weeks. Like not even for a 5 minute walk. Just looking at the inside walls of the house all day.

They act like they are sooo much better than those who have been leaving their house!

(I don't believe them by the way.)

Maybe not 'brags' as such but I seem to know and awful lot of people with this virus and am getting sad face daily updates on symptoms /body temperature etc. All this interspersed with news about all the fun activities they are getting up to /jobs they are doing around the house.
Yes, I know symptoms can be very mild for many but having seen the effects of severe cases first hand I know how bloody awful it can be.
No, you are not REALLY I'll if you are gloss painting the banisters up the stairs you lnumpty.

I've not left the house for over 2 weeks. It's not a brag, I'm terrified of catching it!

The one who’s partner we were all clapping for due to him being a key worker. He works at an airport in the car park 🙄 constant posts about how brave he was and how he was keeping the country moving. ‘Thanks everyone for clapping for my xxxx last night. He does such a vital role keeping the country moving and is so brave’ Erm no!

None personally, but I have heard/seen a few people on TV claiming they haven't left the HOUSE for 2 weeks

I've been in the garden to hang laundry out but that's it

Also haven’t left the house at all for two weeks. Turned out I was brewing coronavirus (no symptoms at the start) so I’m glad I hadn’t.

We also haven't left the house for two weeks. And unless we absolutely HAVE to we won't be leaving it for the next 2 months probably. Not a brag.... Just don't want to catch this virus. We are both higher risk and it's just not sensible.

That they have CV. That people are stopping them in the street to say Thank you.

• I've done 500 lots of shopping for vulnerable people all of which I have gone into great detail about and now I'm starting a gofundme page with nebulous aims.

• I'm really disappointed that nobody has contributed to my gofundme page.

• you are all bastards and I hate you.

Then there's:

• I asked the shop assistant how she was and she burst into tears saying everyone had been shouting at her all day and I was the first person who had asked her the question. Then she gave me her left kidney because she was so grateful. I didn't really care about the kidney because I'm not materialistic but I'm #thankful that little old bountiful humble me made such a difference to a pleb. While I walked home all the street lights came on one by one as I passed them and the international space station flew over. It doesn't cost anything to #bekind.

@ Santaclauswhosthat
Can I add - she threw the kidney away to a fox and a badger who had decided to reclaim the land as people in her area are sobering the rules. It was so humbling to hand feed wildlife like that.

Santa Claus😂

@Santaclauswhosthat
Lmao trying not to wake dh..

"None personally, but I have heard/seen a few people on TV claiming they haven't left the HOUSE for 2 weeks. Like not even for a 5 minute walk. Just looking at the inside walls of the house all day."

There is a thread at the moment where someone says they haven't left their house in 24 days...

@Kyliesgoldshorts 🤣🤣🤣

Yes I'm seeing this time of the entire global fiscal structure that all societies are ordered around collapsing plus a million people dead as an opportunity to post positive thinking memes on Facebook and reconnect with urban pests through a key worker's kidney. It's the least I can do. I know not everyone shares my #values but maybe #oneday, sooner than you think.

I haven't been out of the house in two weeks, I managed to time a minor medical emergency just at the start of all of this. A couple of "friends" keep reminding me that I don't HAVE to stay home, and that I CAN go out to exercise, along with passive aggressive posts about people taking it all far too seriously. I am not banging on about not going out I simply answered a question someone asked about daily walks.
True colours are being shown for sure.

'Why are you not clapping for me, I work in a bank behind the counter and I'm not getting enough attention'

'I have singlehandedly set up and run a group supporting vulnerable people in the area.'

You set up a facebook group, post 100 selfies a day of the food you have distributed and are a massive cunt to people you don't approve of. Yes, you have done good but you're not a hero and also have loads of people supporting you.

@anotherlittlechicken I haven’t left the house for 19 days, on consultants orders. The two weeks prior I was in hospital and so apart from a ride home 33 days. not a brag ffs I’m having chemo and will die if I catch it.

Saw one on Facebook the other day that was both a boast and a dig at the NHS. OP was complaining that her husbands company was donating PPE to the NHS and the NHS delivery driver didn't come to lift it (she reckoned the dept responsible for arranging the pick up couldn't be bothered organising it rather than just being overwhelmed) so her husband (who's an IT specialist don't you know and above such trivial jobs) had to deliver said PPE himself. Anyway he apparently handed the PPE to a paramedic who burst into tears of gratitude. Presumably then everyone stood up and clapped.

FB post bragging about how self-sufficient and organised she is, growing her own food, having chickens and stocked with supplies. This is fine. However, she was describing her situation at the same time she was castigating millenials for not being similarly prepared.
Seriously? You think you would have coped with this when you were 18? What resources did you have at your disposal? Being 50 and living on a property is very different to a young person who has just lost their job, living in a shared flat. Total lack of empathy.
Are we all meant to marvel at her forward thinking or some such shit?

@Gingerkittykat i wonder if we know the same person?

Actually, there's probably a lot of that around at the moment.

Sounds awful but the people posting on social media they’ve received a letter to stay home.

“Well that’s me indoors for 12 weeks, I’ve had my orders”

No Bethany, they are advising not ordering & your not special

Of course there are plenty of people who haven't left their house at all in the past 2 weeks, why don't you believe them? It's fine to complain about them bragging, if they are, but I'm confused as to why it's so hard for you to believe?

Lots of people are scared shitless of getting the virus - especially people with heart conditions, diabetics, elderly, people who have had organ transplants, cancer patients, hypercondriacs, etc. The list goes on and on.. If they also happened to have 2 week's worth of food, or have been able to get some sort of delivery, then why would they have left the house?

@YouNeedToCalmDown millennials are generally considered to have been born between 1981-1996 so are between 39 and 23/24 years old now. Not that that means they should be expected to have their own chickens, an allotment and a stockpile of food either, but they are definitely not 18.

Owner of a pub where some famous people go who loves self-publicity saying he had coronavirus. He said he hadn't been tested but knew he had it. NHS had told him it almost certainly wasn't it. He wanted everyone to know it's mild, almost like a cold. Then was saying how he'ld isolated himself for 7 days and thanking his wife for doing everything for him.

How long people haven't showered for

to be fair it was me