To want to withdraw as a volunteer?

[ladylovesmilktray]

I am working full time but have contacted my local council who delivered leaflets asking for people who may help the vulnerable and elderly. For the last two weeks I have been helping with the shopping for an elderly lady distant from her family but it is getting too much. I am going three times a week to the shops for her but each time she gives me a list of multiple shops - today was boots, home bargains and aldi - all with individual long queues for really specific items that just aren't available. When I get the next best thing, say strawberry yogurt because cherry is sold out for example, when i take them back she refuses to pay as it wasn't what she wanted. This has happened lots of times now! I just end up having these items. Like flash spray not Dettol spray because she hates bleach when on the list it just said cleaning spray! This is becoming a nightmare with my job and my own jobs and health but I don't want to leave her in the lurch. The original councillor is no help!

I doubt these people realise what it's like.
The queue was the length of the Tesco car park when I last passed it by.

But the more you shop the higher the chance of you or the receiver of the goods getting corona virus. Be firm for their sake and yours.

If she was having help through social services they would only pay for one trip a week to one supermarket in my area. You should only be volunteering for one trip. Speak to the organisers. The lady then decides where she wants you to go. Most pharmacies are still delivering for the vulnerable in my area.

I would switch grandma.

What says she's a grandma?

I totally agree with whoever said upthread that no good deed goes unpunished. In the past whenever I've helped anyone on a regular basis they have always taken the piss and it's affected my mental health.

Nothing says she's a grandma, but I was still cognitively adopting the lady even if she's behaving badly. It can be helped. We all know a "Tatie Danielle" somewhere...

And I suppose, by that reasoning, all young people are hoodies, drug dealers and thugs, hibeat

I wouldn’t blame you if you stopped doing it for her and get her to find someone else to do it. And if you decide to carry on helping others spell it out from the start that they either accept substitutes or go without the item if it’s not in stock.

You said that, not me...
Just go on then, what is your point exactly ?
Absolutely amused...

Does any of your comments have anything to do with the thread, jumping on ONE word ? Seriously ?

I agree it's not easy to manage. I am shopping for 3 elderly neighbors plus my own mother. If it wasn't for the neighbors our family could happily live on the selection available 5 mins walk away at Tesco Express and in a very safe environment - 4 in the store at a time, hand gel on entry etc.
Instead I am having to find all sorts in one of the bigger stores.
I have explained to my neighbors that I will shop once a week in Sainsburys at a quiet time (going to try tomorrow evening) and will do my best with what is there. They're all very appreciative and are starting to understand that their requests may not be successful. None of them have been able to get online slots & do not have local families so seem happy with this.
I'm a natural pleaser so would usually happily trawl around various shops to find items so having up to resist the urge ; I'm a worrier so going into multiple shops is also making me very anxious.
Good luck to you OP ; if you can't get your lady to understand though I think you need to pass the problem back to the coordinator. If it's anything like my area there are many people willing to help.

I quite fancy a cherry yoghurt now

I really think some of you have no idea what it feels like to be told to stay at home for this long and then have nasty judgemental shit heads dictate that you have to live on gruel

OP hasn't made even one generalised comment about the elderly
*

This.

Why the hi so people make things up on MN that the original poster never said?

It's really bizarre

You didn’t see the original thread title, @Soph7777

Most definitely not unreasonable. Tell her you're going one place and don't bother with any substitute items if they haven't got what's on her list.

@Soph7777

If you'd RTFT you would have seen that MNHQ have amended the title. It's the original title which was offensive. Nothing to do with 'making things up'.

All the advice to not get any substitutes would be fine under normal circumstances, when that might mean missing one or two things off a long list. When the shops were at their worst (and they're now getting much better around me, but that's not the case everywhere as I understand it) if you had gone with a list and refused to deviate from it at all you could have come home with almost nothing. If OP had done that then she'd have inevitably found herself going on another trip the next day...

I'm in a similar situation to the elderly lady (needing to "shield" for 12 weeks due to son recieving the letter) I'm getting by on one online order a week and our local pharmacy delivery. If/when I need a volunteer it will be to prevent us starving, being unclean and not having medications. Anything else is a bonus, it would be unrealistic and completely unreasonable to demand more like this lady. Asking for multiple shops, specific products etc isn't what volunteers are for.

There is a big difference between telling someone you will only buy them the bare basics and they have to like it or lump it and someone demanding very specific brands and being very difficult if the volunteer can’t get what they need. This case is the latter.