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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Very elderly shopping in Sainsburys today!

309 replies

ohdearmissus · 31/03/2020 15:48

AIBU to feel unusually angry when seeing elderly (80's90's) shopping in Sainsburys today?
Angry enough to be posting here in aibu for the 1st time.
I realise that I am probably naive..but the elderly that I know are self isolating and being responsible...following the instructions we have been given..
I understand that they are likely aware of the risks...but I am trying to work out if I am raging because I'm thinking that if they do become ill..they will expect to be cared for by the nhs.
Quite simply..of the people that I saw today..if they catch coronavirus...baring a miracle...it will be the end for them..Maybe what has made me so angry is that if people are clearly not following the advice (I had thought that most were)...then this is going to continue to spread.
We all have to do our bit.
Happy to be told iabu..but trying to calm myself down by posting here!

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 31/03/2020 19:28

@Alsohuman

I agree.

I can't be doing with Gransnet but after this, maybe us 'elderly' will need our own Topic on here where we can hide from the abuse/patronising/criticism

peterlon1 · 31/03/2020 19:33

Oh @NannyOgg that’s a bit harsh and is there really a Gransnet? Maybe I should start a Granddadsnet my grand kids would roar with laughter

peterlon1 · 31/03/2020 19:34

Here we go counting pasta again lol

Sugarplumfairy65 · 31/03/2020 19:36

@possumgoddess

I am not one of the very elderly - however I am definitely one of the vulnerable. Because I am not in the 'extremely vulnerable' category and not over 70 I can't even look for a delivery slot as they are all allocated to the extremely vulnerable (which I do understand). I also can't get a click and collect slot, except at a supermarket 20 miles away which we're not allowed to travel to. What choice do I have? I can order fresh meat and fruit and veg from an online supplier but not milk, bread, pasta, butter, cheese or eggs. So to get those I have to go shopping myself or do without, unless somebody very kindly offers to help me. I am self isolating to keep myself as safe as possible because I have 3 risk factors - but unless somebody helps me out I will have to go shopping eventually. Maybe it is the same for them.

I'm in the extremely vulnerable group and I can assure you that its not us who have all the delivery slots, because I've been trying for weeks. None of the 3 supermarkets I'm registered with can offer me one.
At the weekend my daughter had to do a 5 hour round trip to do my shopping.

KeepWashingThoseHands · 31/03/2020 19:36

No i'm not angry - I'm worried for them. I wonder if they don't have family to help with shopping or aren't computer literate or simply just can't get a delivery.

peterlon1 · 31/03/2020 19:37

Who remembers back in 70’s when you dare not overstock fridge and freezer in case it spoilt during blackouts lol this brings back memories

Becca19962014 · 31/03/2020 19:37

In my area the volunteers have not been checked and for some people they don't want random people to know that they are vulnerable.

I had an unknown man deliver medication to me last week on behalf of a pharmacy. He had all my details, that I was vulnerable, on my own and ill. He had zero id, was driving his own car, no proof at all of who he was other than medication I'd ordered and had a go at me for being paranoid after hammering on my door and constantly ringing my doorbell. When I complained (they're not meant to deliver) I got told to show some gratitude.

I know that the man who assaulted me (it didn't get to court due to his mental health) has been allowed to volunteer (he delivered to my neighbour) and I'm terrified he'll find out where I live.

There is no way my name is going down for help on any systems after those experiences.

I live alone and am in all medical categories for high risk except over 70 and supposed to stay in for 16 weeks (which is what it is here). But there's no way I can risk the volunteers. I'm not alone in worrying about that. I'm aware of others who have had people having a go at them for going out when ill - some like me have been victims of abuse and simply don't trust a system where people are not being properly checked and some have mental health issues that will spiral into crisis if they stay in 24/7 for four months.

Becca19962014 · 31/03/2020 19:39

We've no deliveries here under usual circumstances. So medication deliveries only happening since covid-19. No supermarkets to deliver here.

KeepWashingThoseHands · 31/03/2020 19:41

And to the other comments on pangolins or whatever they're called - have you seen the SCALES on them!!!!

Seriously, anything with scales like that is a natural warning you should not be eating what's inside.

Noconceptofnormal · 31/03/2020 19:42

I'm not annoyed at the old people who don't have a choice but I am bloody annoyed at those that do,as they're not doing their bit to flatten the curve.

It's one thing if they are happy to die at home if they get it but they will clogg up resources in NHS hospitals, and it's not fair for them to be treated the same as people like my parents who have been isolating for over 3 weeks now and have literally done everything possible to not get it (with my help doing the shopping), they literally don't leave their house / garden and dettol everything I bring them to eat.

If you're going to play Russian roulette with your life, fine it's your choice, but then don't call an ambulance when you're struggling to breathe.

FlockofGulls · 31/03/2020 19:44

I wonder what age the OP classes as "elderly" - some people on MN seem to think old age starts at about 55, the silly duffers.

peterlon1 · 31/03/2020 19:45

@Sugarplumfairy65 I know just how you feel and I get so angry that people hoarded, and they can tell me as often as they want that the average till receipt was only £5 extra, but as I say how often did they do that shop in a day or a week? Cos when I eventually did get to go shopping there was nothing for me to get, and had similar problem today which is why I am still counting pieces of pasta for my dinner so it lasts longer. People these days are so selfish and self-centred when I was young we helped each other checked on our elderly neighbours etc. Don’t see it much these days.

peterlon1 · 31/03/2020 19:48

@KeepWashingThoseHands I love that you are so right big big no no.

peterlon1 · 31/03/2020 19:52

Hey some people are old at 55 some get dementia at 50 I am glad I am way past that age so chances of me getting dementia are low now but hey they say even that is a state of mind and tests have shown people not showing signs of dementia outwardly may have a brain that shows it, but keeping it active and alive means that they build new pathways to correct the damaged ones.

ProfessorHasturLaVista · 31/03/2020 19:52

Maybe they are like MIL and been let down by Tesco. Delivery been booked for over 2 weeks and today received an email that it has been cancelled. So Tesco are good at pretending to give a shit but actually don’t.

peterlon1 · 31/03/2020 19:57

@ProfessorHasturLaVista ah you poor thing you know what there slogan is “every little bit helps” well the little bit was the bastards sent you and email.

peterlon1 · 31/03/2020 19:58

And still no one has told me if eating mince that has been in your freezer a year will do you any harm?

Brefugee · 31/03/2020 19:59

AIBU to feel unusually angry when seeing elderly (80's90's) shopping in Sainsburys today?

get over yourself? my mum is elderly and lives alone with no family and doesn't know her neighbours.
What should she do? starve?
How about having a bit of empathy?

MinesaPinot · 31/03/2020 20:02

Thanks peterlon1I

Alsohuman you're the same age as my husband who's far from elderly! We went out today for the first time since Friday but we're planning to walk at least every other day.

VioletCharlotte · 31/03/2020 20:03

It's very difficult for older people who have been very healthy all their lives to suddenly consider themselves 'vulnerable'.

Nanny0gg · 31/03/2020 20:04

@peterlon1

I doubt it will do much harm (make sure no pink left) it just might be a bit tough and tasteless.

Check the smell when it thaws.

peterlon1 · 31/03/2020 20:05

My brother in law told me that many years ago when a group of lads went on a camping trip they were all tasked with bringing certain stuff. Well one guy was told to bring some tinned meat to make a curry, well he did bring to big tins of meat! Dog food! Apparently it made a really good curry. Well if it comes to it my dogs are going to be sharing their food with me.

Alsohuman · 31/03/2020 20:06

And still no one has told me if eating mince that has been in your freezer a year will do you any harm.

You know the drill. Defrost it, see what it smells like, if it smells OK, eat it. I reckon it will be fine.

peterlon1 · 31/03/2020 20:06

@Nanny0gg already cooked it and just finishing pasta. But thanks

NiteFlights · 31/03/2020 20:07

peterlon1 Id risk it if I were you. As long as it looks and smells okay when you’re cooking it and you cook it v thoroughly.

Re the OP, well yes, she’s being U, but I think it’s much more U for elderly people who don’t need to go out shopping to do so just because they want to, or because they don’t care if they, personally, catch the virus or spread it. That’s beyond stupid and selfish, just as bad as all the other dickheads who don’t adhere to the guidelines. They don’t get a pass for putting others at risk just because they are older.

If they have no choice then of course they are being perfectly reasonable by going shopping.

OP did say she was doing volunteer shopping herself BTW, to everyone who’s putting the boot in.

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