Very elderly shopping in Sainsburys today!

[ohdearmissus]

AIBU to feel unusually angry when seeing elderly (80's90's) shopping in Sainsburys today?
Angry enough to be posting here in aibu for the 1st time.
I realise that I am probably naive..but the elderly that I know are self isolating and being responsible...following the instructions we have been given..
I understand that they are likely aware of the risks...but I am trying to work out if I am raging because I'm thinking that if they do become ill..they will expect to be cared for by the nhs.
Quite simply..of the people that I saw today..if they catch coronavirus...baring a miracle...it will be the end for them..Maybe what has made me so angry is that if people are clearly not following the advice (I had thought that most were)...then this is going to continue to spread.
We all have to do our bit.
Happy to be told iabu..but trying to calm myself down by posting here!

@Gobbycop still haven’t said who you was referring too?

Ah fair enough. I'd not realised there were so many pages until the last one. Stupid fat fingers and next and last being too close. That's my excuse anyway

I am in the vulnerable category because I am pregnant (visibly, as it's my 3rd trimester). My family live in another country and in in-laws are a 4 hour drive away. DH is working. There are no delivery slots. I am going to the supermarket once a week because we need to eat despite the current situation. I would expect the NHS to care for me should I become ill (I am doing whatever I can to social distance), but I would expect that for anyone.

YABU they may well have no internet / don't know how to use it so can't order on online.

They may feel too proud to ask for help from neighbours, don't trust them, worried they'd get the wrong thing or worried that a strict budget won't be stuck to.

Family live far away
Friends might be in a similar boat if the same sort of age.

I can't actually believe that I've read this post
YABVVVU

Ok everyone time for me to call it a night having too much fun on here lol nn everyone take care

I dislike going to supermarkets actively avoid them if possible, and up to a few weeks ago did a substantial weekly online shop.
We are at the moment a family of four adults and my recurring slot has just gone without a trace!
Despite being in my late 60's with other health problems, I am relying on DS and DIL to struggle home with as much as they can carry home several times a week.
You cannot criticise people going to supermarkets, only the very lucky can get an online shop, I am in the fortunate position of DS and DIL living with us and helping us, but because of circumstances they are making multiple visits to local stores when normally it would not be necessary.

So they can wait at home for the online deliver (that's if they have/can use a computer)
So they can sit and wait for a nice friendly neighbour to deliver food? If they have one
So they can ask a family member to get food for them? If they have family or family nearby (remember non essential travel?)

And when services restart we find their bones because they've died of starvation.

YABU. And bloody thick and ignorant. Rant elsewhere.

My Mum is 86. She lives in UK, I do not. She has no internet, so can’t do an online shop, even if she could get a delivery. She lives in the second to last house in the village. Her neighbours are all 80+ too. She went on the free shopping bus yesterday as she said she didn’t know how she is going to get food. My friend has offered to do a full shop for her, but she doesn’t like to ask anyone to get more than a pint of milk or loaf of bread. She’s now got enough for the next few weeks, after which I will do her an online shop. She also likes the human interaction if going shopping. She thinks that the risk was worth it has she has had her life anyway.

I have a late-90-something relative who lives independently with family support but can be a bit forgetful (doing very well for her age, but she's ancient!). She knows about the virus, but the bit where she's meant to change her lifestyle is sometimes forgotten. Despite having several local people who are very willing to go to the supermarket for her, I had to remind her (by phone) the other day not to go to the local shops.

I've resigned myself to the reality that there is a good chance she'll get the virus and it will kill her; to a certain extent that helps me deal with the reality. That doesn't mean to say that we're not doing sensible things, but at her age she could very easily die within the next six months anyway. I tend to believe in quality over quantity; she won't get much quantity regardless, so perhaps quality should be given some priority.

For the record, there's no way we'd want her ventilated - we all know that with her comorbidities she wouldn't make it off the ventilator anyway; likewise she's DNR.

My and dad havnt had any offers of help and I live in a different country- so please te me why you would be angry at my elderly parents having to go to the shops for food

No need to be "unusually angry" with the elderly OP. Blimey!
YABU and really cruelly judgy.
I'm not too sure what
(A) Your anger, and
(B) Your post
is going to achieve.

I've got no problem with elderly people going to the shops if they have to what does frustrate me is seeing them still going for walks in groups of 4+ when going out for my daily walk they are siting together on the benches!
My DH goes to the shops once a week my son has lung problems so he won't go out more than that, there are arrows showing you where to be but they think it's ok to lean over him to get what they want. DH said you have to wait till your turn on the arrow and they said it's a fuss over nothing! There's so many by us it really gets me mad.

The Japanese data from the Diamond Princess cruise ship (700 infected on board) showed that of the 80 - 89 year olds on board who tested positive for Covid, 48% of the infected didn't even show symptoms. That increased to 60% asymptomatic for the 70 - 79 year olds who were positive for Covid. My elderly parents are self-isolating, but those figures are certainly quite comforting to me.

Well, OP, as you don't seem to think it can be difficult to get shopping in without going out, and seeing 'elderly' in Sainsbury's causes you grief, why don't you stay in and get your shopping delivered. Then you won't have to put up with seeing the 'elderly' at the shop.

Simples.

These people may not be getting any help at all. The much lauded community support is likely to be patchy. Elderly people are less likely to use social media and visits from family and friends may have largely dried up because people are self-isolated. They have to eat. I can tell you from my own experience that my DF's support network has dried up and he is highly vulnerable. Relatives and friends are self-isolated, his cleaner won't come but he is incapable of cleaning for himself and really needs one as he often 'misses' the toilet owing to movement restrictions! He received 4 visits a day from carers but these are quick in-and-out visits and they don't stay for as long as they are contracted to and do as little of the job as they can. Without relatives visiting to keep an eye on things this has probably got worse. Crucially we are struggling to get food to him and have not been made aware of any local volunteer service. He didn't even get the letter from the government and food package, even though he qualifies and has one of the illnesses that puts him in the category to receive it. The carers won't shop for him and indeed they are probably overrun and short staffed at the moment. I don't think people realise how vulnerable some of the elderly are at the moment. The systems are likely to be missing many who need help.

There are so many elderly people who have no one to help/check in with them. And they are probably incredibly lonely but also need food!

Oh and the 'leaning over' and sitting together mentioned. Yes that is stupid. I would be annoyed with them if they got too close to me but that's only likely to be a few people surely? There are younger people flouting the rules too.

Yabu

No internet? No delivery slots? Independent and dont like help? Dementia? Dont have close friends and family?

Yes they should still expect NHS help just as over weight, smokers, alcoholics, self harmed do.

It's not in the NHS breif to be selfrightous or judge on those things.

Otherwise there would always be a dr willing to overlook everyone for wrong religion, wrong sex etc. Thank God the UK isn't like that yet.

One day we will all be old, and worthless in societies eyes going by this. Great things to look forward to

Those elderly people you saw simply may not have anyone to shop for them. They may actually want to do their own shopping. We do our 82 neighbours main shopping and leave it outside her door. She drives so goes to tesco for the bits we can't get and she is fussy about plenty of fresh fruit but she goes extremely early and is very sensible about the guidelines. My fiancé's aunt and uncle (early 70s) go by themselves. They drive and go early. They have no underlying health issues and prefer to go themselves. Their children offered but they have so far declined.

Good day everyone, at the best we all need food and have to get it whichever way we can. I registered on the Gov website and 10 days letter got a text to say my details were being passed to the NHS for verification. I had to go out yesterday for food I had no choice, but standing in the cold waiting to get into the store and then half way round I was in so much pain i almost gave up. When I got home I had to take a good swig of morphine just so I could get upstairs to the bathroom. I am at risk if i catch the virus but I am pragmatic about i, it is called Covid 19 for a reason! it has been around since 2019 so at least 5 months, if I was going to get it I probably have already got or had it and it hasn't/isn't having a great effect on me luckily.

The other thing that really bothers me is they keep saying so many have died from Covid 19! but in the next breath they say but they had underlying health conditions. So was or wasn't it the virus that killed them? I doubt it it was probably just the catalyst that caused their underlying health condition to become worse and that is what really killed them. They have and keep saying that ordinary healthy people will more than likely not even know they have it. In Italy they keep on about the numbers or deaths but if you actually look deep enough you will find from the figures the average age of those in Italy that died was about 78. so yes us older ones are more at risk mainly because we have underlying health issues and partially because we are not so robust these days.

What is it you would like them to do instead o?

peterlon1

You can have underlying health problems and live for decades, so it is true that Covid 19 is killing people before their time. Why do you think the world has shut down?

Also incredibly foolish to assume that, because it's been around since the end of last year, that you've been exposed to it or have had it. Even horrible viruses like this take time to get around to everyone. There's no place for complacency right now.

The OP doesn't seem to have come back, but I hope she's read these replies and is feeling thoroughly ashamed of herself!