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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Very elderly shopping in Sainsburys today!

309 replies

ohdearmissus · 31/03/2020 15:48

AIBU to feel unusually angry when seeing elderly (80's90's) shopping in Sainsburys today?
Angry enough to be posting here in aibu for the 1st time.
I realise that I am probably naive..but the elderly that I know are self isolating and being responsible...following the instructions we have been given..
I understand that they are likely aware of the risks...but I am trying to work out if I am raging because I'm thinking that if they do become ill..they will expect to be cared for by the nhs.
Quite simply..of the people that I saw today..if they catch coronavirus...baring a miracle...it will be the end for them..Maybe what has made me so angry is that if people are clearly not following the advice (I had thought that most were)...then this is going to continue to spread.
We all have to do our bit.
Happy to be told iabu..but trying to calm myself down by posting here!

OP posts:
peterlon1 · 01/04/2020 14:00

missed the point it isn't the virus that is killing them, it is just the catalyst.
how do we know that people have not had or have it as we do not test the population at large only those in hospitals.
and I am not being complacent just pragmatic. I think we are taking it a bit to extreme after all we didn't do it for MERS or SARS and they caused a lot of people to succumb to underlying issues also.
I am sorry for people who have spent in some cases a lot of money on masks that will do them no good it has been stated by a doctor in Canada who treated people for SARS that the only mask that keep out these viruses are N95's. we are going into supermarket with air systems and fridges that blow air about so doesn't make any difference how far we are from each other it is being blown at us by these everyday things.

peterlon1 · 01/04/2020 14:06

Oh dear have I said the wrong thing?

VanyaHargreeves · 01/04/2020 14:08

Not RTFT but the thing that sticks in my throat most about this highly unreasonable post is :

"Expect to be cared for by the NHS"

Would this be the NHS that is "free at the point of access" financed by tax, born at the same time as the people you saw in the supermarket and presumably paid towards by them their entire working lives, and for a lot longer than you. That NHS, yes?

But they are old, so deserve to be refused healthcare.

What a shameful comment

Wannabangbang · 01/04/2020 14:10

There isn't many slots to spare and these people have to eat. Yabu

peterlon1 · 01/04/2020 14:10

@VanyaHargreeves agree with you totally but unfortunately OP does not seem to have been around since original post yesterday.

BenjiB · 01/04/2020 15:04

Better they stay at home and starve ? What a stupid post.

AmICrazyorWhat2 · 01/04/2020 15:42

My poor Dad was "told off' by a lady in his village Post Office this week, because he went down there to get his pension! He was really offended, as it was the only time he'd been out all week and he needed to do some shopping at the village shop.

Many elderly ppl aren't v. computer-literate and OK, he could've paid for his shopping with his card, but he wanted his pension money.

Poor man, it really upset him and he was all geared up with gloves, etc. (plus it's a tiny PO so hardly anyone around). Sad

DobbyTheHouseElk · 01/04/2020 15:50

MIL goes out once a week to shop. She could get people to shop from her, but she wants to shop herself. She’s used to being out all day every day. So once a week is very hard for her. She is worried for her mental health if she doesn’t go out. She says the isolation is worse than the virus.

Spamellahamella · 01/04/2020 15:53

Omg yabu! So.many people don't have others to go shopping for them.or take care of them
Can't believe you are mad.with them

LittleChoCho · 01/04/2020 15:54

The weird, judgemental and Stasi-like behaviour that CV-19 is bringing out in some people on MN is actually more terrifying than the virus itself. OP, I trust the responses on this thread have answered your question, and that you have now traded your anger for embarrassment.

peterlon1 · 01/04/2020 16:01

I have to agree the stupid panic brought about by the governments and chief medical officers around the globe has turned people into judgmental arseholes.

Alsohuman · 01/04/2020 16:06

The weird, judgemental and Stasi-like behaviour that CV-19 is bringing out in some people on MN is actually more terrifying than the virus itself.

Sure is.

OptimisticSix · 01/04/2020 16:08

YABU for all the reasons other people have stated.

Port1aCastis · 01/04/2020 16:24

I hate the thought of mine or anyone else's Gran being used as mere fodder to post t'internet look at me's
The elderly are people with feelings and should be treated just the same as anyone else!
Stop all this age bashing as nobody is immune or invincible and while you're stood in the supermarket judging away you are just as likely to catch the bug as they are

peterlon1 · 01/04/2020 16:48

The weird, judgemental and Stasi-like behaviour that CV-19 is bringing out in some people on MN is actually more terrifying than the virus itself.

had it in Sainsbury's just yesterday, had to wait in line to get in(use crutches when out or fall over) was very cold and joints started to cease up, by time i got to till was in terrible pain. Tried to explain this to young man and that I felt all the nonsense with the tannoy messages screens and everything else was such a drama, pointing and circling at the ceiling. and the woman who was in charge of tills accused me of being aggressive with him, told her I wasn't was just trying to impart some information but the fact I was in great pain because their stupid system will not allow me to do an online shop at all despite the fact in my account details it says I am disabled,and that I had been shopping with Sainsbury's for years and was disgusted with the way I was being treated. so then she tell the security guard i was being aggressive to the cashier. I paid and left and doubt i will be going back to Sainsbury's again.

Notredamn · 01/04/2020 16:54

Cold-hearted thicko.

pigsDOfly · 01/04/2020 18:39

peterlon1 If you've got a Tesco near you try that.

My DD said her local Sainsburys was a nightmare, no one was keeping their distance and there was no one in one out system in place.

I know all shops and towns are different, but my local Tesco is fantastic, they are so well organised and the staff are absolutely lovely, but then they are all the rest of the time.

There was an older man in the queue when I was there who was having difficulty standing and they took him in ahead of the queue.

I know in some places that might cause a riot, but I'm learning that the people in my town seem, in the main, to be really kind and no one turned a hair.

chugmonkey · 01/04/2020 18:59

YABVU
I have noticed lots of people being really angry about other people being out and about when they have zero knowledge about why the person is out; all sorts of wild assumptions are being made.
I suspect that people just need someone to be cross at about this whole situation and they are taking it out on whomever they can.

RuffleCrow · 01/04/2020 19:01

Should they stay at home and starve instead, op?

Darbs76 · 01/04/2020 19:02

Well many do have offer of help but are insisting on going out anyway. I think that the pensioner hour just encourages it. Community members are there to help

Darbs76 · 01/04/2020 19:03

And everyone needs to tell their parents to stay home. Drop their shopping at their door. Because if they catch it, they might not survive it. You don’t get a second chance to have told them to stay home

Darbs76 · 01/04/2020 19:06

@DobbyTheHouseElk - that’s the case for many many people. The stay home message isn’t just so that people don’t catch it, but so less people are out potentially spreading it. I know so many people who say the same as you, but you really need to protect elderly parents. Yes it’s hard, especially for parents who might not have computers etc, but if they have a relative who can go out for them then please encourage them to listen to the experts and stay home

gingysmummy · 01/04/2020 19:07

Yabu I was in aldi last week and this very frail lady prob late 80's was doing her shopping , I nearly cried seeing her she was hunchbacked and was speaking to herself. I brought poor old women she must have no one in her life to help her. I had to watch her struggle trying to carry to heavy carrier bags to a taco rank. I so much wanted to help her but I didn't want to risk her catching anything of myself in case I had it.
Also you have to remember a lot of the elderly have no access or ability to use the internet. I'm getting an Asda delivery tomorrow a delivery I had to wait 3 weeks on

scunner · 01/04/2020 19:07

Not all elderly have community support or even a kindly neighbour.
Don’t be judgemental until you know the full story.

Port1aCastis · 01/04/2020 19:08

Doubt my Mum will stay home she's nowhere near 80 and is still working as she's required too

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