If you are receiving shopping via volunteers please can I request

[MatildaTheCat]

That you stick to essential items and keep them as non specific as possible. DH and I shopped for two vulnerable people this morning under an official scheme. Their requests included 1 litre gin (ok maybe essential), branded tonic, branded cleaning items, organic gala apples, rose and raspberry lemonade, non sweetened organic coconut milk and on and on.

I lost a lot of sleep last night worrying about the additional exposure to the public while searching for half this stuff. In fact we did get pretty much everything but had we been asked for ie large brown loaf, cheddar, packet of bacon, mince, frozen peas it would have been a lot less stressful. This is going to last some months for the most vulnerable, if you or your family are in that category please help by keeping it simple.

Thank you.

Ok, so what can be ordered your highness?

I think you’re being unreasonable sorry. If volunteering is too much for you then stop but you don’t get to ask people to stop buying what they need. If someone is shielding or isolating alone in their homes then often it’s the little things (like treat food) that give the most joy.

Yab so kind to volunteer, but I do think yabu to request that people pay for shopping they may not like or possibly can't eat to keep it simple for people who have volunteered to help out.

If its causing you enough stress to be losing sleep over then you should maybe see if there are other things to help out with instead.

TBF, I don't think what the OP is suggesting is unreasonable.

I would t be thy picky, o can totally see your point.

Jesus sorry

I wouldn’t be that picky and I totally see your point

I don't think YABU at all.

If someone as doing me the kind favour to do my shopping in order to protect me and others, I would make it as generic as possible.

Gin
Tonic
Apples
Orange squash

Etc

Why didn’t you talk to them about it? Or just get what you could easily manage to find?

Bad enough that they cant go out.

Ok, so what can be ordered your highness?

Do you actually understand what the OP is doing?

Why not give them a list of items you'll deign to buy so they know to ask someone else who won't be nit-picking their purchases?

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all! If someone was getting my shopping i would be giving a generic list and be very grateful! Thank you for volunteering!

No need for that - I get your point OP but think a half way house (as always) would be good eg not being specific about brands etc and making it clear if something was essential due to allergies or just a preference and what suitable / easier alternatives would be ok.

Eg I love St Pellegrino lemonade but I would also say ‘sprite or lemon squash also fine’

What a bastard that vulnerable person was wanting a few treats while locked in! Should of been happy with plain rice and water

I’d pre warn them I might have to get another brand if the one they want is not in stock but who wouldn’t want to get them treats

Not sure volunteering is for you....

YANBU. It’d be different if they said
Apples, preferably gala and organic
Or
Apples, must be organic, if not get pears

Can see both sides here to be honest.

Just as one mans trash etc

Your "specific, odd, frivolous" could be "basic staple" to them.

If you have to go round multiple shops to buy a specific brand then that would be a pain in the arse. You need to ask for acceptable substitutes if the shop you're in doesnt have the specified product

I wouldn't personally be that picky because I know that the shops near us are in a sort of weird half-way state of having enough stock, but not enough of everything, iyswim. So I know that I'd be able to get tonic, but not the particular brand of tonic I like, and it would be a pita for someone else to sift through the options and find the nearest.

But if you're losing sleep about shopping, you shouldn't be doing it. Being out for 10 minutes longer doesn't really add to your risk, especially if your supermarket has a one way system going.

I can't believe this post!

Your go the shop anyway, so what's the additional exposure?

I'm also part of a community group and an shopping for several people.

I try and get everything on their list, inc their wine/sweets/ice cream etc. And whatever brand they want if it's available.

Why wouldn't you do the same if you're already in the shop?

The additional exposure is if OP needs to go to multiple shops to buy a specific brand of product

We are ordering food to be delivered from the farm shop. I give a list of what I’d like, then I stipulate happy for any substitutions. I then thank them profusely for going out of their way for us. And when this is all over I will forever get my fruit and vegetables from their business because without them we’d be truly fucked right now.

We are likely to need this service once our current supplies run out and while I'd be very grateful for help I think YABU. We eat what we eat, it's hard enough being in lockdown and I've given up enough without changing our diets or eating stuff we're unused to. If you're that afraid of transmission leave the volunteering to others.

YANBU. If someone was shopping for me I would be trying to make it as easy as possible. It is unfair to be overly specific or to ask for unnecessary items that might be hard to find. Okay to ask for some milk chocolate for example but not really fair to specify 'Green and Black organic milk chocolate'.

I get you. I sent my DD for the shopping yesterday and just asked her to get what she could to the nearest equivalent of our usual things. It his fine to ask for specifics with the proviso that if they are not available you specify if you are not fussy or would rather not have a sub.

My mum gave me quite a specific list like the OP is talking about (minus the gin). She got just about everything but some substitutions - no mother, I'm not going hunting for your specific brand/cut of meat/particular manufacturer when I'm doing my own shopping too whilst leaving my kids at home.

I'm afraid I was quite direct when she gave me the list - and she was grateful to get most of her regular bits with a few changes.