If you are receiving shopping via volunteers please can I request

[MatildaTheCat]

That you stick to essential items and keep them as non specific as possible. DH and I shopped for two vulnerable people this morning under an official scheme. Their requests included 1 litre gin (ok maybe essential), branded tonic, branded cleaning items, organic gala apples, rose and raspberry lemonade, non sweetened organic coconut milk and on and on.

I lost a lot of sleep last night worrying about the additional exposure to the public while searching for half this stuff. In fact we did get pretty much everything but had we been asked for ie large brown loaf, cheddar, packet of bacon, mince, frozen peas it would have been a lot less stressful. This is going to last some months for the most vulnerable, if you or your family are in that category please help by keeping it simple.

Thank you.

So vulnerable people are only allowed to eat the most basic rations? What a mean spirited approach.

I'm guessing that when you shop for yourself, you choose the things you like? So why shouldn't they? Granted, if you can't find the product they've asked for, they should be reasonable about that and be happy with substitutions where possible, but they have every right to ask for the things they actually like.

I agree - brands should not be specified unless for allergy reasons. But gin is fair enough

Totally agree with you. I would be embarrassed to be so picky. They should just be grateful somebody is doing their shopping. Even my incredibly fussy mother has realised she just has to have what they've got at the moment.

I am currently shopping for 4 households.

And I agree with OP.

It is fine to say (as a PP said) apples, preferably Gala or braeburn, don't get granny Smiths. Or if no apples, pears are fine.

My mum is quite specific, she gives me brand and flavour. She also says how far she will bend.
eg, mouthwash, only htis brand, don't bother otherwise.

It is really hard to shop at the moment. Normally it is fine to have a detailed list, the more detailed the better as you get exactly what they want.
From my mums shopping list of 25 ish items there were 8 things not available. Because I know my mum, I was able to replace. 2 of them were staple meals, so if I didn't replace, they woudl be a meal missing.

I take my hat off to you OP for volunteering to help people in this way.

They say that no good deed goes unpunished!

381 more deaths in the U.K. in the last 24 hours.

If someone is reducing my risk of death or serious illness by shopping for me atm, I am grateful and I could not give two fucks about the type of lemonade in the current circumstances. I realise it's a want not a need and wants aren't exactly a priority at this exact moment.

Thanks everyone for your replies.

To be clear I am happy to buy whatever they want including any treats, same as I would for myself but the high level of specificities was daunting. I was worried that if I bought, for example, the wrong brand of organic coconut milk (or gin!) then the person would quibble about paying for it, leaving the charity organising this with more problems ( I pay for the shopping, the charity reimburse me and then collect the money from the vulnerable person). One bill came to best part of £80 so it could become quite difficult.

I totally agree that more communication is needed and being new to this it’s a learning curve. I guess I was nervous because I just wanted to get it right. Because I’ve got at least 12 weeks of it ahead.

Absolutely agree that clear requests are helpful but I need to establish where substitutes are acceptable and when not. The charity also need to remind people that this is not Tesco home delivery (their words not mine).

Cheers everyone.

I hope all the whingers are doing their bit to support their community. But I doubt it.

YANBU OP, we are lucky that one of us can go out to the shops and even then we can’t be picky as it’s very much the limited food that is available is what you can have and we are fully accepting of that. If someone was kind enough to shop for me so I can stay safe I would be very generic about what I needed (not withstanding allergies).

If someone is reducing my risk of death or serious illness by shopping for me atm, I am grateful and I could not give two fucks about the type of lemonade in the current circumstances.

I have a severe allergy. If someone bought me the wrong kind of biscuit and I ate it, that would kill me a hell of a lot quicker than coronavirus ever could.

I'm shopping for the elderly parents of a friend. They are being sensible and thoughtful and asking for "bread; 50:50 if you can get it, but if not, any one of the following options..." They don't want me trailing around endless shops looking for particular brands,, exposing myself to germs and I appreciate their thoughtfulness.

If you can't cope with doing someone else's shopping then don't volunteer in the first place.

Ok, say the 63% who have voted the OP is NBU were all volunteers and all decided to stop shopping for others, that would create a drop in people willing to shop, which might mean that in some areas some people did not get any shopping delivered to them. Is that a better solution?
I am shopping for a vulnerable relative and they were a bit moany about the substitutions at first, but when I explained the situation in the shops and how I could not get half the stuff they asked for, they were ok, as they then realised that I am actually doing them a favour keeping them fed.

I'm on the other side here - a neighbour does my shopping for me. Wouldn't dream of asking for specifics like this, just glad to get basics as per the list.
But have to admit that I'm sad to be running out of my Arla Organic Kefir. Only sold at Waitrose, and my kind neighbour shops at Aldi. Ah well, difficult times etc.

If someone is reducing my risk of death or serious illness by shopping for me atm, I am grateful and I could not give two fucks about the type of lemonade in the current circumstances.

But some people have allergies or intolerances that mean they CAN only have certain brands of things.

I have a severe allergy. If someone bought me the wrong kind of biscuit and I ate it, that would kill me a hell of a lot quicker than coronavirus ever could.

But presumably you would have mentioned this to the volunteer. You are not the kind of person the OP is referring to.

One of the very few things making this bearable for me is having the food and drink that I like at home as well as being able to step out to exercise or go to the shops.
I can't imagine what it's like to be stuck at home unable to even get out to the shops.
You're doing a good thing op but I mean this kindly; if you're too scared to be in the shop to check the difference between Fever Tree and own brand, or pick up someone's preferred apples, then maybe volunteering isn't for you.

That's really reasonable, OP! To be honest it's shocking that people think it's okay to be that picky. Allergens/dietary requirements sure, but not so specific that you're losing sleep through worry of getting it.

I am super fussy but if I needed a volunteer to do shopping, I would be as generic as possible and be very bloody grateful indeed for anything and everything I received.

Do we really think a particular person asking for gin, specific rose lemonade and branded items etc etc are requesting those items because of allergies? Or that they wouldn't have explained to OP if they had specific life threatening allergies?

Allergies should be catered for and I expect OP does and has no problem with that at all.

These are needs not wants and people need (irony) to realise that.

Gin and specific lemonade is a want not a need. And it's definitely a want under the current circumstances.

YANBU if they gave you this list without any guidance at all and genuinely expected you to visit multiple shops to get everything!

I think it is fine (and probably helpful) to specify a brand, but then make it clear what the shopper should do if they can't get it.

i.e.
Kelloggs cornflakes (but other brands also OK)
Robinson's Orange squash (if you can't get Robinson's then leave it)

I am volunteering and totally see the OP's point. I don't mind shopping for others but in one shop - I am not up for increasing my risk by going to 3 different supermarkets.

I think specifying brands is fine but being accepting that they may get substitutions but there is definitely room for awkwardness if they are then refused which I imagine is going to happen with some people.

I think a bit of give and take is necessary.

Maybe expectations need to be managed in terms of how many shops you are prepared to go to after all it isn't exactly essential to go to 3 shops to find fever tree tonic or whatever.

I think the OP is getting a really hard time. I'm shopping for an elderly lady who asked for:
Milk
Bread
Eggs
Apples
Bananas
Fruit yogurt
Washing up liquid
Baked beans
Corned beef
Cornflakes
Potatoes
Frozen peas
Oranges

No brands specified and it was easy. To be honest, I think it's a bit cheeky to be really specific when someone is doing you a favour.

So people recommend OP stops volunteering Who the fuck is going to deliver people's' gin then?

If you want specific gin etc, concentrate your efforts on the supermarkets and the governments inadequate response to the current crisis involving a fatal disease, not berating volunteers for doing a shit job or insufficiently catering to your wants.

YANBU. I have been out twice in the last few days to get specifics for my elderly neighbour and had to visit 3 different shops to do so, and ask quite a few shop workers for help locating said items.

I think if you can't find what they want within a reasonable time, then it's fair to give up. A previous poster said it was unreasonable to expect people to pay for items they might not like - so don't substitute then, because you definitely should not have to go back to the shop to return items because they don't like them, and put yourself at risk again, on their behalf. That's if you're even allowed to return items having taken them out of the shop, handled them, given them to someone else, who handled them and then refused them!

Gin and specific lemonade is a want not a need. And it's definitely a want under the current circumstances.

And there's nothing wrong at ALL with wanting certain foods under the current circumstances. So long as it's available, what's the problem?When I shop for myself I don't just grab the first item on the shelf irregardless of whether I'd like it or not. I'd extend anyone I was shopping for the same courtesy.