If you are receiving shopping via volunteers please can I request

[MatildaTheCat]

That you stick to essential items and keep them as non specific as possible. DH and I shopped for two vulnerable people this morning under an official scheme. Their requests included 1 litre gin (ok maybe essential), branded tonic, branded cleaning items, organic gala apples, rose and raspberry lemonade, non sweetened organic coconut milk and on and on.

I lost a lot of sleep last night worrying about the additional exposure to the public while searching for half this stuff. In fact we did get pretty much everything but had we been asked for ie large brown loaf, cheddar, packet of bacon, mince, frozen peas it would have been a lot less stressful. This is going to last some months for the most vulnerable, if you or your family are in that category please help by keeping it simple.

Thank you.

Lol @2018SoFarSoGreat - my mother doesn't hold with 'that organic nonsense' either.

Oh my outrage at poor OP getting an unjustified kicking fucked up my italics

I'm on the fence here. While I don't think anyone should be limited to the basics, it is so disheartening to not be able to find very specific items on a list. I really welcome a list of acceptable substitutions as I hate going back without something they may have needed.

You’re not being unreasonable in the slightest, op.

I agree OP

I think that whoever is organising it needs to put out a bulletin that stock is often very limited in shops now and to please be flexible and make the group aware of allergies and dietary requirements such as lactose intolerant, vegan/veggie, medical issues.

In some areas such as rural ones there is often only one or two shops anyhow with everyone using them now restaurants and many takeaways are closed and it's literally you take what's there or nothing. The time to whinge about treats is over. If it's not on the shelves there you can't get it or will need to wait a week or more for a delivery from the likes of Amazon.

If I was doing someone else's shopping I'd find it easier if they put brands on so you don't have to decide which they'd prefer. That said, if the shop didn't have the brand they asked for, i'd just get an alternative and hope they were grateful that someone else did the shopping for them! My mum has sent me a list for her online shop (because she has the internet but clearly can't use it!) and it's similar to this in nature but she'll be getting whatever they have in stock and it will do her good not to be such a brand queen!

I think you should rethink being a volunteer if it's causing you this much stress, because I don't think it's unreasonable of these people to ask for specific items. Can you imagine how stressful it must be knowing you can't leave your house for 12 weeks and that you're entirely reliant on strangers to help you? So if that makes them crave stability and ask for items in their shopping that they usually enjoy consuming, is that really such a big ask? Christ knows they've got not much else to look forward to at the moment.

To be honest, as a fellow volunteer, I prefer people to be specific (though with the understanding that it might not be possible to get those exact things)
If I don't know their preferences, I spend way too long in front of the shelf, trying to work out which one of a selection of twenty different loaves (for instance) to pick up. Whereas if they ask for a Warburton's seeded batch, I can get it if it's there, but if it isn't, I know the type of bread they prefer and their budget, so I can pick up the nearest thing quickly.

love the mumsnet kicking for helping out...

the way round this is 'I'm going to Aldi/Sainsbury/wherever' They get whatever that shop has of what they want, or they do without. One supermarket only, they all sell apples, cleaner (hopefully etc). Aldi even sells milkless milk for those who actually can't drink dairy stuff.

Firstly nice of you to volunteer

However, I am shopping for elderly parents and their neighbour. Specific shopping lists are actually easier then you don't find yourself in the drinks aisle thinking oh shit what type of lemonade would they prefer? (the expensive kind or the cheap one). And wholemeal flour is not exotic if white bread makes you constipated.

Just go to one shop and substitute if they don't have what they requested.

BTW, longterm being completely dependent on people shopping for you, who don't buy what's on the list because they simply can't be arsed, is soul-destroying.

I've been in the situation of actually paying people to do errands for me as part of their paid hours, and still having them come back with any old shite despite all attempts to communicate. Simply through not caring, not through shortages or other issues. My diet and health really suffered.

It also makes you feel worthless and powerless because, well, you are.

My mother, who is in her 50s, spent 2 hours the other day going to several different shops to source Maris piper potatoes for my grandfather, who wouldn't make do with any other type of potatoes because he "couldn't make chips from any other types".

People need to be realistic.

"If you spend their money on stuff that you deign essential/simple that they then can't eat"

That's not what Op was saying at all!

Oh dear, I feel your pain! We’ve been asked for a spelt loaf (no chance), quilted toilet tissue, vegan spread and Cotswold eggs! In fairness to our lovely elderly neighbours I think having not been out for three weeks they are pretty unaware of the issues. Anyway, we’ve done our best and have managed about 80% of what they’ve asked for. I still think you’re being a tiny bit unreasonable though .

I just saw someone on a local volunteer group post to say that they had been asked to shop for specific make-up items. I don't think that is reasonable and I think I would have been saying politely that I was only shopping for food and essentials and pointing them in the direction of online shopping for other stuff.

Info is helpful - and I'm someone who gets shopped for quite a bit.

So 'Braeburn apples ~6, failing that Gala/Pink Lady/Jazz, otherwise don't bother, bread wraps any brand, pref wholemeal/with seeds, but have other bread already, sunflower oil 1L or any oil max 1L bottle'

Buying food that someone doesn't want is just a waste. I do have a family member who is convinced organic is better so insists on buying organic versions of everything, ie wasting my cash, but I try to see it as the price of the favour.

Can you imagine how stressful it must be knowing you can't leave your house for 12 weeks and that you're entirely reliant on strangers to help you?

Exactly. It must be awful to feel so helpless.

I would hate to be totally reliant on strangers' to feed me for three months. Imagine not being able to do your normal shop and decide to add your favourite chocolate or something because as stranger is doing it for you and decides it's not worthy.

Blimey... I shop for one of our elderly neighbours and whilst it's mostly things like eggs and bread, if she asked me to get a specific make-up item - and I could - I bloody well would. It's not for me (or anybody else actually) to decide what another person would deem 'essential'

If I'm in the shop and it's on the shelf, it can be bought and I'll happily do that.

No wonder so many elderly people are wandering the shops at the moment, they've come across some of the Mumsnet posters, obviously. Ugh.

The OP is volunteering - she is not BU at all.

Anything to help those volunteering makes sense.

Thank you OP for helping others.

You're not being U at all. Rose and raspberry lemonade is not essential for anyone. Regular lemonade should be a perfectly adequate treat for the time being. To expect some to trawl the shops for your exact favoured brand and type of coconut milk when supplies are still short everywhere is selfish and unrealistic.

Exactly so, adaline. I actually hope some of these posters come across 'voluneteers' like them when they're unable to shop for themselves...

The OP is volunteering - she is not BU at all.

It's still not upto her to decide whether what other people want to eat is necessary or not! Why can't people choose their own food shop without others' deciding it's not "worthy".

GatoradeMeBitch Shops are well stocked now, except maybe still for pasta and toilet roll. So calling elderly and vulnerable people selfish for asking for something they would normally buy themselves is horrible. Have a heart, these people don't want someone else to shop for them but they have no choice for the next three months.

At least the OP is trying to get what people are actually asking for... not acting like a prison guard.