If you are receiving shopping via volunteers please can I request

[MatildaTheCat]

That you stick to essential items and keep them as non specific as possible. DH and I shopped for two vulnerable people this morning under an official scheme. Their requests included 1 litre gin (ok maybe essential), branded tonic, branded cleaning items, organic gala apples, rose and raspberry lemonade, non sweetened organic coconut milk and on and on.

I lost a lot of sleep last night worrying about the additional exposure to the public while searching for half this stuff. In fact we did get pretty much everything but had we been asked for ie large brown loaf, cheddar, packet of bacon, mince, frozen peas it would have been a lot less stressful. This is going to last some months for the most vulnerable, if you or your family are in that category please help by keeping it simple.

Thank you.

It is not always the case that 'volunteers' were going to be in the shop. I didn't need to shop for my family but specifically went out to shop for other people in my village.

Luckily their list was very sensible and it was all done very easily by me in just a couple of shops.

And if we keep seeing more 'healthy' people being killed by this virus well I and a lot of others with families may decide the risk isn't worth taking to increase our time in shops etc volunteering for others. Everyone needs to be tolerant at this time and accept most of us are just trying to do our best.

Either do it or don’t, it isn’t mandatory.

I take it you're volunteering to do this type of work then to take her place?

I don’t think the OP is being unreasonable, hope all those who are critical of the post are out volunteering themselves.

So don’t volunteer then. But don’t virtue signal about how you’re volunteering and helping then bitch about people asking for perfectly normal items of shopping. The pink lemonade is right there on the shelf next to the value stuff, ditto the Bon Maman apricot conserve next to the essentials jam and the vine tomatoes next to the tasteless ‘salad’ variety. Either do it or don’t, it isn’t mandatory.

Amen to that.

I'm not sure that people on this thread realise that the volunteers aren't running a coffee morning or some 'nice to have' service. They are delivering food to people who cannot leave their homes in a national emergency.

Would anyone starve if they didn't bother? No of course not - there would be another system put in place to keep everyone adequately provisioned, like food box deliveries by the army perhaps (similar to what Morrisons are doing with their very or meat eater boxes). But you can get your life there wouldn't be any choice, you'd get a reasonable selection and take it or leave it. Then you'd maybe think that with hindsight the volunteers weren't so bad.

OP you are doing something you aren't obliged to do, for them and at risk to yourself. Choose your boundaries, communicate them and stick to them. If they don't like them, maybe someone else will fetch their very specific products from multiple shops. Or not. Many families struggling to get any food right now, personally I'd rather beans on toast daily to nothing at all.

@GrumpiestOldWoman there is already a food box service those who have been told to shield can access, there aren't really the personnel to scale it up (or the money).

OP if you don't want to volunteer anymore then don't, if you are finding it adversely affecting you and your family then you have no obligation to. It might be that doing something else would be more suitable if you want to assist in some capacity.

The pink lemonade is right there on the shelf next to the value stuff, ditto the Bon Maman apricot conserve next to the essentials jam and the vine tomatoes next to the tasteless ‘salad’ variety

Except that they might not be.

People need to be realistic.

The supermarkets have been clear: to keep the supply going they will keep volume up but choice down . So there may very well be only two choices of tonic rather than the usual 17.

Two types of tinned pasta with sauce rather than Heinz plus own brand alphabet spaghetti, Tom and Jerry pasta shapes etc etc.

Last time I was in our supermarket had a reduced range of cereal types and only branded or own brand of each one.

Choice of satsuma and similar much reduced.

Last time I was in a shop there was no fresh milk and no soy milk, only v expensive almond.

Time before that only unsweetened soy milk: tough luck but no big deal for my teen who preferred sweetened.

Of course volunteers will try to do their best but we all need to be realistic.

And it isn’t fair or sensible for society as a whole for volunteers or anyone else, to visit 4 shops for Fevertree Mediterranean Tonic, for example, when Schweppes was available in the first shop. We all enjoyed a G&T before Fevertree was invented

Realistic, and kindness, tolerance and understanding all round will help.

They are delivering food to people who cannot leave their homes in a national emergency

And those people should jolly well know they’re in a national emergency, totally dependent on others shouldn’t they. Volunteers should take every opportunity to ram home the message, even if it would take exactly the same time and effort to get something nice, essentials only, be grateful. Especially if they’re older and a bit better off than you and usually buy things you think are a bit extravagant. Make sure they get the message!

Get your own shopping then your highness.

Some people CAN'T GO OUT. If they can't get an online delivery the they have no choice but to rely on volunteers. What is it you fail to understand about that?

But they are still relying on people's goodwill, not paid services. They can always request one of the government boxes if they don't like the volunteer services.
Spending longer than you have to in a shop is risky for the volunteer, as is running from shop to shop to get different things. Reducing someone else's risk by being flexible with what you request, and accepting what you get is just good manners. It is not a question of volunteers taking the risk with good grace, they are doing a massive thing for someone else and if they get pissed off or even ill themselves then that person will suffer. How about a bit of good grace from the recipients of their goodwill?

Some people CAN'T GO OUT. If they can't get an online delivery the they have no choice but to rely on volunteers. What is it you fail to understand about that?

Wow. Is this really the only way you know how to express yourself. You should be ashamed.

... and another AMEN to NaturalBornWoman.

Volunteering is great; behaving as if you're the 5th Emergency Service is not.

Do it with good grace or just don't bother. Same goes for snitty shop workers who cats-bum over scratchcards. Flounce off and shield yourselves. You really won't be missed.

Jesus how is 'please think twice about giving me a really complex list, it's stressful trying to get everything' behaving as if you're the 5th Emergency Service

You really won't be missed.

I trust that you're volunteering in your community?

Grumpiest, will you think me insufferably smug if I tell you that I didn't need an 'invitation' to do it either?

Making somebody who cannot get out, feel as if they're a nuisance and that they're not part of the 'all in it together' is just cruel. It's mostly (although not all) the elderly folk who could do with a bit of kindness rather than pursed lips. That sector of the community may have fewer or no family members, friends, but really - anybody who needs a volunteer to shop for them, deserves kindness.

I actually think most volunteers are really kind and they deliver more than the shopping. for them.

I stand by what I said about the other sort.

Yanbu op

I don't volunteer for this very reason. Was going to sign up for local town but a friend told me about all the grief she gets from people being fussy and even refusing to pay for the fancy stuff they requested because she couldn't get it from the supermarket it's usually stocked in and went to the expensive farm shop for said item.

really won't be missed.

Except they will be, if every volunteer flounces off from doing something they have no actual obligation to do and are putting themselves at risk for, people will go without food. Maybe a bit of respect both ways wouldn't hurt. The entitlement of some people towards people volunteering their own time is actually outstanding.

Another 563 people have died in the U.K. in the last 24 hours. If people are going out under these circumstances, risking their health, as well as giving up their time to shop for me and deliver it to me, unpaid, out of kindness, I don't give a fuck whether they get me lemonade, let alone specific correct flavour.

People don't need their usual brand of lemonade or coconut milk or whatever, they need some fucking perspective.

Maybe a bit of respect both ways wouldn't hurt.

But what earth have the vulnerable individuals OP is shopping for done to be disrespectful? Been specific in their requests? There's no evidence that they've been rude or ungrateful or unwilling to accept substitutions.

That OP is finding volunteering anxiety inducing is unfortunate, but the people she is helping haven't been disrespectful.

I am agog at this thread.

I am volunteering through my local neighbourhood group and everyone I have shopped for has been immensely grateful.

I buy as much as I can from their list, and ask for alternatives before I go. I have a fair idea of what's in the shops and which items are scarce.

I happily get all the treats that people want, goodness I'd want my wine and chocolate too if I was self isolating.

Volunteers are shopping for themselves at the same time - unless they're misunderstanding the rules themselves of course. Going shopping is a risk in itself but an essential one. Once you're in the shop, working through a list isn't really adding to it, or not in my book anyway.

The expectation though that a volunteer has to pay for 'refused items' isn't ok. The shopper needs to be clear about whether they will accept substitutions - or no item if not available - and they have to pay for their shopping.

There are, in this area anyway, a good many volunteers and I think the OP has been unlucky. I also volunteer and haven't seen this; I'm not saying it doesn't happen, just that clear communication is what's key so that expectations from both sides are managed.

I stand by what I said though about sulky, indifferent volunteers. Nobody deserves those.

@Cohle I am on about the attitude of some people on this thread!

YANBU at ALL you are doing people a massive favour at personal risk to yourself. Maybe you could put a friendly note in with their shopping explaining that stocks are limited and you can't guarantee specific branded goods? My FIL hasn't been to the shops for literally weeks so has no idea that his favourite pink lady apples might be hard to obtain!

YANBU - you are doing a nice thing - but maybe specify which shop you are going to, and if the recipients are happy with own brand/substitutions etc. They should be grateful that you have volunteered to do their shopping for them.

A lot of the volunteers here can't shop for themselves too, we've had messages about it. They are shopping for families self isolating as well as elderly people and so can't get their own food too as it takes them over the shop's product limit. They have to go out again another day for their own food.

So they are putting themselves more at risk, but as healthy individuals they see it as them standing a better chance.

There's nothing wrong with wanting treats, so long as you aren't expecting volunteers to go to multiple shops. Get all the treats desired in the one or two shops. And don't expect them to break rules for you. Not when most already are doing more trips then normal. One lady wanted 3 supermarkets, 1 in town 2 half hour drive away!

But there's nothing wrong with wanting treats from that supermarket, be it gin or cadburys. Who can begrudge a treat if you are shopping there anyway?