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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To leave husband during lockdown

619 replies

MWallsb · 29/03/2020 21:53

Currently living with my husband in a remote area far away from any of my family and friends, who are all in London where I’m from originally. Since getting married last year and subsequently moving to my husband’s hometown, he’s become abusive both physically and mentally. Prior to lockdown, things were just about manageable as he’d spend long hours at work and often worked away for extended periods of time. For the last two weeks, he’s been WFH and things have become unbearable. My anxiety is through the roof and I don’t feel able to cope in the home. It has dawned on me that I need to leave the marriage sooner rather than later. I’m lucky enough to have a great support network of family and friends, however, all are in London. My sister who lives in central London and has asked me to pack my things and travel up to stay with her for my safety until the lockdown is over, after which time I can then look at a longer term plan.

I’m of course aware of the very strict rules in place at the moment with regards to non essential travel. From what I’ve read, it’s acceptable to leave home if travelling to a refuge, but it’s not permissible to leave home to stay with family elsewhere. I have both a car or a train station nearby to get me in to central London, but it’s a 2 hour journey and I’m seeing all over the news about the police stopping people to ask for evidence as to why they are travelling and issuing fines/forcing them to return back home if their reason for travelling is not permissible etc.

If I were to leave, it would have to be without my husband knowing (in the night or making a quick getaway whilst he’s out of the house). I’m terrified I might attempt to travel in to London and be stopped or forced to return home again which would have awful implications for me. I suppose I’m just looking for some advice really in terms of what to do or what others would do in my situation. I feel in desperate need of family support, but at the same time the last thing I need is to get in trouble with the law. TIA

OP posts:
chilling19 · 30/03/2020 18:13

👏👏👏👏👏

Slat3 · 30/03/2020 18:18

Glad you are safe now, OP. Flowers

BeenHereForAges · 30/03/2020 18:26

Wonderful OP. You should be so proud of yourself.
I wish you all the luck in the world

TimeForDinnerDinnerDinner · 30/03/2020 18:29

You are so brave OP 💐
Take care and keep safe 💐

Cheeringmeup · 30/03/2020 18:32

Well done op, that took incredible guts. You’re safe now and you absolutely will recover - you’ve done the hardest bit, take care of yourself x

madmumofteens · 30/03/2020 18:32

So glad to hear you are safe OP💐 xx

Fedupofitnow123 · 30/03/2020 18:34

I'm so relieved to hear you got out! Well done! Now, block him, you don't need to hear anything he has to say, they easiest way to stay away is to not have any contact.

RoseLalique · 30/03/2020 18:35

Wow, op I’ve just come back to read your update. I’m not religious but I did say a prayer for you in the wee hours last night and again this morning. Enjoy your new-found freedom x Flowers

RoseLalique · 30/03/2020 18:36

And well done - you are amazing!

FairyDogMother11 · 30/03/2020 18:55

Amazing, well done!! Flowers

stanski · 30/03/2020 18:56

That is such a fab update!! Go OP

Strawberrypancakes · 30/03/2020 18:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BackseatCookers · 30/03/2020 19:23

ThanksThanksThanksThanksThanks

AGoodPodcastAndANiceCupOfTea · 30/03/2020 19:33

Been thinking about you all day and wondering. So pleased that you are safe - onwards and upwards

cjcghana · 30/03/2020 19:47

Well done for making a very scary decision but you've beaten the bastard now. Take care my love xx

Dontunderestimateme · 30/03/2020 19:48

Very glad to see you got out safely. It may be a good idea to take some photos of the bruises in case you want to report him to the police when you are feeling stronger.

MsChatterbox · 30/03/2020 19:53

Just amazing. Well done!

GratitudeGoddess · 30/03/2020 19:55

@MWallsb you are AMAZING, COURAGEOUS and BRAVE. I completely salute you Flowers

Lollygaggles · 30/03/2020 20:00

So happy that you got away. Smile

Starlight456 · 30/03/2020 20:06

Well done op.

As others said do photo the bruises.

Try and get a good nights sleep

Murphs1 · 30/03/2020 20:08

So brave, we’ll done, I’m so pleased to read your update xx

LakieLady · 30/03/2020 20:15

So pleased you're safe, OP. You've been amazingly brave. Flowers

Bluewater1 · 30/03/2020 20:30

I'm delighted that you are safely at your sister's house. Well done OP. So courageous Flowers

caffeinefix · 30/03/2020 20:33

Fabulous to see you're at your sisters. Take care and liaise with women's aid x

ZoChan · 30/03/2020 21:24

Adding my voice of support. Well done. Stay safe xxx

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