Neighbour told my kid off.

[Shootingstar2918]

I’m not precious and nor do I think my kids are angels! But hear me out. Most of the houses around me have kids living in them. Due to the current situation a lot of them are out playing understandably.

My children were playing outside whilst I cleaned up. All of a sudden DS started screaming that he’d been told off and told me the man who lives behind us told him off. I couldn’t see what DS was doing. There’s a Tallish fence between our gardens so I cannot imagine a lot could be done.

Just to add DS has autism and wants to talk to everyone. I think he was at the back of the fence shouting hello. I’m not really sure. My garden is secure and safe enough to let them out without me being outside. I was in the kitchen with my patio doors open but missed what actually happened. Sometimes DS can be a bit loud but I don’t let him out for hours on end or anything. Far from it.

So a man told him off. If he did wrong then that’s fine but the man told him off with no explanation. When I came out he hurried in his house and slammed the door. Aibu to think he should talk to me. With distance of course!

Like I say DS has autism. My neighbours wouldn’t know this I guess but it’s ended up with DS having an hour long meltdown on the grass outside. They must be able to hear him.

I’m not the type to go matching round and of course we can’t right now anyway but aibu to think the guy should man up and come and speak to us (again distance) and give me an explanation at least! So I know what the hell just happened. DS is that upset he can’t explain to me!

It's clearly the neighbours fault. He chose a house and talks to other neighbours and has a cat and stood at the end of his garden like an absolute bastard instead of staying on his decking when OPs husband is a KEYWORKER!

Anything else to add?

So your son can be at the end of the garden, but your neighbour can’t?
Your son will (admittedly not his fault) say hello to someone and will not stop and you cant see why this wouldn't annoy a person?
Your neighbour doesn't need to respond back, they also Don’t-need to get used to it.
Think you do need to supervise more.

Think you've covered it @Sharpie

Also im sorry but you don’t sound ( from here anyway) someone who would respond well if he did say anything.

OP you're getting a hard time. This is AIBU where the special pains in the arse with perfect children reside. Normal people see nothing wrong with your son saying hello. And those who have suggested you just try and get him not to say hello are fucking ridiculous- let them try to get an autistic child to do whatever they say. Take no notice- YANBU.

He won’t stop when they don’t reply. If they reply it’ll be forgotten and he’ll run off. My son was running up and down the garden just before. He doesn’t consistently stand at the fence.

This week is the first time
My kids have been in the garden since october time. They moved in only a few months ago. This week is the first time they’ve encountered my
Son! Today is the first time that my
Son has communicated with them - trust me they are supervised. If they can’t say hello back to a child what kind of people are they?

MrMe no-one NEEDS to do anything, but only a total arse would ignore a child saying hello. I forget how many.people there are who really can't stand children- or at least any children who are not their own.

Bit weird why a guy is stood at the end of his garden by himself
For No reason. When he’s nice decking etc by his door.

Maybe he wanted peace from other folk in his own house, or wanted to have a sneaky fag, or wanted to stretch his legs, or was thinking about redesigning the garden while he’s got time on his hands. The point is it’s none of your business what he was doing and to resort to nasty insinuations is pretty poor. And whatever he was doing he had the right to enjoy his garden peacefully. You weren’t there, you don’t know what was said, if you’re unhappy with the situation then supervise your kids. If you feel they don’t need supervision you need to accept you’ll miss things but unless you know something you’re not saying, I can’t see how the neighbour did anything wrong.

A person who doesn’t want to be pestered when in their garden?

Maybe you should supervise your child. People are understandingly stressed at the moment. Not everyone has the patience to deal with other people’s irritating children.

I don't speak to the neighbors kids over the back of ours if they shout into my garden because I don't want to encourage them to shout over the fence at me when I'm enjoying my own garden.

OP I get the not stopping until someone replies- my son is just the same.

This guy could see he really upset my son

How do you know? You weren’t even there.

He won’t stop when they don’t reply.

That is very annoying.

If they can’t say hello back to a child what kind of people are they?

It’s none of your business whether they want to say hello to your child or not. It’s his garden and he might want to just enjoy it in peace without engaging in conversation with children he doesn’t know.

And tbh I know a fair few men who would be nervous about saying hello to a child they don’t know without their parent present precisely because of the nasty insinuation you’ve made about him being “a bit weird”.

Pestered? Irritating children? The language on here completely confirms that people see children as irritants. It's so sad.

There is something very, very wrong with our world when we have no patience for a child.

This. I am quite flabbergasted at many of the responses here. I've just assumed it's a "British" thing, as I live in Canada, and can't imagine a neighbour doing this. I also lived in the USSR, in a neighbourhood of apartments which all opened to large common spaces with benches, where babushkas went to sit, men sat playing dominoes after work, and children ran around noisily. No one ever said a thing to the children, it was considered perfectly normal for children to be running around, playing noisily and occasionally talking to anyone outside. It was not uncommon for any unrelated person to stop and take a child's hanky and wipe his/her nose, or tie a two year old's shoe.

I wouldn't respond to a child who kept shouting at me in my garden in case they thought it was the green light to annoy me every time. Especially if they had been doing it for a while and there was no sign of a parent around.

I have young children. It's up to me to ensure they don't annoy people. Not make nasty little comments implying he's dodgy because he's at the end of his own garden.

British yes it's annoying but the OPs son doesn't chose to be annoying, does he? It's nothing out of an NT adult's day to say a quick word back.

Puffalicious

If a child is saying "hello" repeatedly, then they are "pestering" and "irritating".

I honestly didn’t know how many people hate children 🤣 my wasn’t lingering by his fence. He just went up to speak.

I think a few people have missed that the guy in question was invading our own privacy earlier by being stood
Up at the back
Or his garden over our fence talking to our neighbour over the way whilst my kids played! That was an invasion
Of our privacy !

Nothing wrong with your kids being in the garden and you were in the kitchen not upstairs so not irresponsible. However, you are being super defensive, knock on his door and stand 2m away and ask if there is an issue if you are annoyed. Otherwise attempt to spend as much time with the kids when they are outdoors. Whether your son understands or not kids noise is unsettling for a lot of people. I can't say I enjoy hearing kids shrieking and that includes my own!

Winterlife thank God for another voice of reason and kindness. The USSR set-up sounds just lovely and exactly like it was where I grew up ( West coast of Scotland). It may be a ' British' thing is some places but certainly not where I'm from or some of my family ( Ireland/ N Ireland).

I've just assumed it's a "British" thing, as I live in Canada, and can't imagine a neighbour doing this.
Doing what? The OP has no idea what happened - there’s no evidence to suggest the neighbour said anything at all much less that he told her child off, shouted at him or anything else. The OP saw the neighbour go inside and her child upset but doesn’t know what happened between them, if anything.

I love children but I still think YABU