Neighbour told my kid off.

[Shootingstar2918]

I’m not precious and nor do I think my kids are angels! But hear me out. Most of the houses around me have kids living in them. Due to the current situation a lot of them are out playing understandably.

My children were playing outside whilst I cleaned up. All of a sudden DS started screaming that he’d been told off and told me the man who lives behind us told him off. I couldn’t see what DS was doing. There’s a Tallish fence between our gardens so I cannot imagine a lot could be done.

Just to add DS has autism and wants to talk to everyone. I think he was at the back of the fence shouting hello. I’m not really sure. My garden is secure and safe enough to let them out without me being outside. I was in the kitchen with my patio doors open but missed what actually happened. Sometimes DS can be a bit loud but I don’t let him out for hours on end or anything. Far from it.

So a man told him off. If he did wrong then that’s fine but the man told him off with no explanation. When I came out he hurried in his house and slammed the door. Aibu to think he should talk to me. With distance of course!

Like I say DS has autism. My neighbours wouldn’t know this I guess but it’s ended up with DS having an hour long meltdown on the grass outside. They must be able to hear him.

I’m not the type to go matching round and of course we can’t right now anyway but aibu to think the guy should man up and come and speak to us (again distance) and give me an explanation at least! So I know what the hell just happened. DS is that upset he can’t explain to me!

You don’t need to keep your children inside . Make an effort to speak to your new neighbour . He may be autistic himself and that’s why he didn’t engage with you . It’s not black and white .

How does your son know there’s a new tenant on the next street to introduce himself to?!
You say the man only moved in a short while ago, but you’re already aware he hates your friend’s children as well as yours... The nightmare neighbour isn’t who you think it is, op.

Let your children out to play - it's your garden after all. Personally I'd make sure I was in the kitchen watching them though just in case something similar happens and then you'll know exactly what happens. If your neighbour comes to the fence I would speak to him 'was there a problem the other day?' and see what he says. Introduce your children, explain a little about your son (not too much, it's not his business after all) and then encourage them inside for a drink and a biscuit. There is a thread on here about screaming and while your situation is nothing like that, your neighbour doesn't know that. Good luck.

@Thisismytimetoshine because my son is very Very observant. He knows it’s not the old neighbours who we got on well with. It’s obvious. He has autism but he knows when there’s a new person around.

I was in the kitchen. I turned my back for a second cleaning dishes. 😬 I have a little soda by my back door I can use to watch them and chill myself whilst they are in full view. I was trying to dishes done before bath time.

That’s how I know he wasn’t at the back fence for long. Just a few minutes before he was bouncing on the trampoline near the kitchen. I think DS spotted the dog and went over.

Op, you've said you don't know what happened. You're just making up things to fit what might have happened! For all you know your DS could have poked a stick through the hole in the fence to annoy the dog.

Next time you go outside, just say hello to your neighbour and introduce your kids to him.

Yeah OP, it's fairly clear that you are making stuff up/conjecturing/exaggerating because people are saying you were U.

It's probably not nice to have your child told off (if that is even what happened - nobody knows!) by someone else because it means you weren't there supervising - but you're only human and kids are slippery little suckers! And you also don't know the man's circumstances either.

Chalk it up to experience and forget about it. It doesn't mean he can never go outside again or whatever.

Well obviously he and your other neighbour have one thing in common ‘you’ , I wonder what on earth they could be talking about, have your ears been burning op

SharpieInThe
It's clearly the neighbours fault. He chose a house and talks to other neighbours and has a cat and stood at the end of his garden like an absolute bastard instead of staying on his decking when OPs husband is a KEYWORKER!

hehehehe, Sharpie is the Boss of this thread by calling it 100%,

OP: 258 responses so far with about 250 saying some version of "you're the nightmare neighbour" some have said it gently, some less so, but with every post you make, you're just showing more and more that YABVVVU. Most people would accept the copious feedback, but you seem unable to accept any criticism at all. You're always in the right in your mind.

Why can't you stop being so defensive and claiming you were supervising. You weren't. Use your garden but since you are aware there are issues, fully supervise your children (on their trampoline, up near the fence, when the neighbour's dog is there!) and make sure your children don't get into any anti-social behaviour or use it as a teachable moment if they are.

One more thing. You might think you get on well with the other neighbours but I am willing to bet one or two might also have issues with the behaviours described here (and illustrated in your responses), but dare not say anything. Your responses on this thread suggest it would be a total waste of time. Many people aren't confrontational.

How do you know the neighbourly chat over the fence that bothered you so much wasn't one saying to the other, yes, OP's constantly shouting hello child is disturbing, but don't bother saying anything because she'll go off on one? If you're going to make up stories about what happened where you and your child are the victims, can you entertain stories where you might not be?

I'd encourage you to read these responses again, and reflect.

for anyone who is saying I ignore my sons behaviour how did you even come to that assumption??

Because by your own admission you a) don’t know what your son was doing and b) don’t know what the neighbour said to him.

I really hope this thread isn’t indicative of your general attitude.

The thing is you actually have no idea what happened. You said in your first post your children aren't angels so why is it hard to believe your son was doing something wrong?
It sounds to me like you will never believe your son is in anyway to blame so what's the point in asking.

Yeah OP, it's fairly clear that you are making stuff up/conjecturing/exaggerating because people are saying you were U.

This ^^

Your kid was annoying and was told off. It doesn't matter why he was annoying.

Bit weird why a guy is stood at the end of his garden by himself
For No reason. When he’s nice decking etc by his door.

Then I must be afucking weirdo since I’m doing that all the time - fresh air and change of view

I know this was an old thread but what a bunch of bullies you all are, I would absolutely love it if anyone of you told my daughter off she has non verbal autism she obviously she wouldn't be saying hello but she does get excited and can get loud. You'd be picking your teeth up without a shadow of a doubt.

So bloody what that he may or may not have said hello... he is a disabled child ffs! You all need to get a grip! No wonder SEN parents have anxiety and never leave the house...nasty!