Neighbour told my kid off.

[Shootingstar2918]

I’m not precious and nor do I think my kids are angels! But hear me out. Most of the houses around me have kids living in them. Due to the current situation a lot of them are out playing understandably.

My children were playing outside whilst I cleaned up. All of a sudden DS started screaming that he’d been told off and told me the man who lives behind us told him off. I couldn’t see what DS was doing. There’s a Tallish fence between our gardens so I cannot imagine a lot could be done.

Just to add DS has autism and wants to talk to everyone. I think he was at the back of the fence shouting hello. I’m not really sure. My garden is secure and safe enough to let them out without me being outside. I was in the kitchen with my patio doors open but missed what actually happened. Sometimes DS can be a bit loud but I don’t let him out for hours on end or anything. Far from it.

So a man told him off. If he did wrong then that’s fine but the man told him off with no explanation. When I came out he hurried in his house and slammed the door. Aibu to think he should talk to me. With distance of course!

Like I say DS has autism. My neighbours wouldn’t know this I guess but it’s ended up with DS having an hour long meltdown on the grass outside. They must be able to hear him.

I’m not the type to go matching round and of course we can’t right now anyway but aibu to think the guy should man up and come and speak to us (again distance) and give me an explanation at least! So I know what the hell just happened. DS is that upset he can’t explain to me!

I am sorry but I think you should have been out there. You are saying that one son was out ALL day. In your garden? With Additional Needs?

My DS works in a supermarket. His colleague yesterday had a women and her son come to his till and the son had additional needs meaning that he couldnt understand about social distancing. He tried to touch the cashier, and pass the money over. The Mother explained he had special needs but honestly, he shouldnt have been there. She said there was no one to look after him but in these current times we need to take the utmost care.

Let it go OP.

You don't know what happened, you don't know what the man said, you don't know that he was aware DS was upset. Just let it go.

You need to teach your son not to continually shout hello at people who don't want to talk to him. If he can't do that, then you need to be there to stop him, every time. If that means he doesnt go in the garden without you, then he doesnt go in the garden without you. If a child was repeatedly yelling at me, id have told them off too. And there are LOTS of reasons why someone would be standing at the end of their garden. Gardening, perhaps? Or strolling the length of the lawn for exercise? Looking at a favourite plant? He probably went inside when you came out because he didnt want to deal with you acting like it was unreasonable for him to not want to be shouted at.

I'll be the odd one out and say I'd be fucked off if someone shouted at or told my kid off for presumably just saying hello.
Even if on repeat, just say hello back and walk away
Although to be fair it's not very clear what's actually happened lol

You make it sound like neighbour should just deal with noise because there are other families around too. The man has a right to be in his garden - and you don't actually know what was said. Let it go.

Could the moral of this story be that you should supervise your children?

Has the op scarpered?

Sorry - posted that in error!

@Tru2thablu
The CPS are now considering coughing on people, especially the emergency services, as assault, punishable with 2 years imprisonment

It’s impossible to say without knowing exactly what went on. I bet your son just kept saying hello, and the neighbour told him to stop. Perhaps he panicked when he realised the effect he’d had on your son, and that’s why he went inside so quickly.
I hope your son is ok now.

Old enough to go outside in the very secure garden we have! Lived here since he was tiny and never had an issue before!

So you do leave them unsupervised. If you missed the incident they were unsupervised.

Did you really leave him melting down for a hour outside?

I think if as you say your have a very long garden and your gardens join together at the end then YABU to expect the neighbour to walk all the way round the properties just to say e.g tell your son to stop shouting hello at me. I think most people would say be quiet.

Also you say he had no reason to be at the end of his garden as he has a patio at the house end. Again YABU maybe be wanted to do some peaceful gardening there, maybe he was trying to conduct an important phone call that he didn't want someone in his house hearing. Maybe he had a migraine asked your son nicely to go away and your son kept shouting hello, there are loads of reasons why he may have wanted to be at the end of his garden.

Thirdly YABU to allow your son to have a meltdown over such a long period outside afterwards, you should have taken him inside at that point.

At the end of the day I think we can all agree YABU!

Bit weird why a guy is stood at the end of his garden by himself

For fucks sake. He can be wherever he likes in his garden. The clue is in the words his garden. What are you implying when you say it’s a bit weird? Are you now escalating into nasty territory because nobody is agreeing with you?

So the rule is: stay home

You think kids playing out together falls outside this.

Why do you think schools have closed?

Thanks all. I can’t see how they are so fed up of my son. Up until the lockdown 4 days ago we never seen them plus we haven’t been in the garden all winter so they’ve never seen my
Kids up until 4 days ago. Understandably they are spending time outdoors but my children were not left fully unsupervised. My partner is a key worker and is working 12 hours. I was home alone and left them in the garden to play for 15 minute whilst I cleaned up before bedtime.. my kitchen backs
Onto the garden. I turned my back for a couple minutes whilst I did the dishes facing the other way.

I’ve never left my
Kids to play out for hours on end. I’ve been supervising them all day.. My son is nearly 10 and is very safe in our garden.

All My neighbours (apart from these people) adore my son as they know he is the kindest soul you could ever meet.

When my son says hello to someone he’ll get on with his day if he’s ignored he’ll keep saying it. This so something we are working on.

This guy could see he really
Upset my
Son and just didn’t want to solve it even with distance.

The same guy was also leaning over our fence this afternoon to speak
To our neighbours to our left for Twenty minutes! That felt really intrusive! Their cat also shits I’m in our garden daily!

My son hardly ever goes to the back
Of the garden as it’s muddy but he just wanted to say say hello! He’s such a friendly boy! The man could have said hello
And walked away. I wonder if he moans about the kids directly
Next to his house. They are out all the time! Mine aren’t! First time
We’ve been
Playing in the garden since autumn!

They chose to
Live here. Every house around them has kids in. They should get used to it.

I would
Never tell another child
Off. I would
Speak
To their parents!

I know it sounds like a minor thing, but every time you are out in your garden, just pottering around having a moment to yourself, having a child say hello hello hello hello hello hello on the other side of the fence gets really wearing (I speak from experience here). As would having to explain to his mother why you don´t want to have to say hello all the time you are in your garden. I don´t know if you son can understand this, but could you encourage him not to say hello through the fence at all?

Did you really leave your son to have an hour long meltdown outside? .

You didn't see or hear the incident, if it was loud and unacceptable shouting from the man, you would have heard it.

The man can use the end of his garden if he wants, how do you know that he's hasn't got some chairs set up there ? Or he was doing
bit of gardening ? Unless you're hanging over the fence.

A child shouting hello constantly, SN or not is highly irritating, I've 5 kids, they are grown, but they were once small, never done the screaming that alot of kids do now.

Once you are living beside neighbour's it doesn't give you the right to be as noisy and irritating as much as you like. You and everyone else needs to be considerate.

The man can live where he wants, just because there are kids in the estate it doesn't mean he has to sell up and move into a retirement home.

It really pisses me off how entitled some people are. No consideration for anyone but themselves.

Tru2thablu
We are in isolation,people need to be abit more lenient with our children. They aren't liking this staying home from school just as much as we aren't liking being stuck at home. Kid's are noisy. Kid's are inquisitive. Kid's don't listen 😂😂 tell your neighbor to stop being a shit cunt or you'll cough on him lololol nah, don't say that LOLOL

Or in this time of isolation you could parents your kids more.

@sunglasses123 what did you think she should have done with her son then? Left him alone at home? Tied him up outside like a dog? The country is full of allegedly competent adults who dont get this social distancing thing, and they get to shop.

of Course I didn’t leave him
Outside upset. He was lying on the floor refusing
To move. I couldn’t lift his 5
Stone weight. I had to encourage him
Inside! Where he screamed for another hour!

They chose to live around here
What in the name of God do you mean by that? You can’t disturb the whole neighbourhood and just shrug and say “well, their choice to live round here”; it’s infantile in the extreme.
If there’s any nightmare neighbour in this scenario, op, it’s you.

So you a finally have no idea what happened because you weren’t there?
If your kid was annoying me I’d tell them off too.
And if you left him to have an hour long meltdown in the garden, that is really shit.

Classic MN- NEVER let your child be unsupervised, ever, even in your own garden that is your property and secure; NEVER allow your child to be loud at all, whatsoever, in case you offend someone whose sensibilities are far more important than yours or your child's; NEVER let children be children and have any kind of fun; it is YOUR priority to shield the rest of society from any ASN or SEN as it's inconvenient. FFS

To PP who said they would give a child into trouble for saying hello- are you for real? No matter how many times or how vociferously a decent human being would see there were issues and nicely reply , before walking away if they wished.

There is something very, very wrong with our world when we have no patience for a child.