Even if it's intermittent lockdown and social distancing... Both mean you're not supposed to meet with family and friends.
If you live alone this is torture. Isolation is used as torture/punishment fgs!
We're always being shown that families are more important, that we've failed by not having a partner and reproducing. Now we are expected to live in isolation for months on end.
And at the end of it, no one is going to say "well done for undergoing months of torture to protect others" or support us with healing from the trauma this will cause. As usual, just expected to suck it up.
I cant do this.
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AIBU?
To think this is torturing single people?
498 replies
VirtualHugsAllRound · 26/03/2020 08:55
OP posts:
Linning ·
30/03/2020 08:58
Didn't read the full the thread as, as someone with an history of mental health issue and now on almost week 4 of lockdown (not in the UK) and finding it really hard, I found most response upsetting but wanted to validate your feeling.
Lockdown in the UK just started so right now most people are in '' finding joy in focusing on myself phase" but since I am a couple of weeks beyond that point, I will tell you that your fears are valid, because 4 weeks ago my mental health was at it's best, as was my life, but after a month of isolation (and lockdown has just been extended for another month today) I am starting to really see the impact of isolation on my mental health and it is TERRIFYING. I have worked SO HARD for my mental health and to get where I am (was?) mentally, and I am currently seeing it crumbling in front of me without being able to use any of the coping mechanism I would normally use and it is very scary for me.
People who say things such as '' isolation saves life (so shut up and don't complain)" don't seem to realize that ''socialisation also save lives." and can be vital for people who suffer with mental health issues while isolation can indeed be pure torture.
People love to make comparison with '' Nurses have it worse.", '' Try being old and frail'', '' Imagine going through abuse.'' as if it's relevant, as if there is no more than one way to suffer.
Well I have gone through a shit tone of abuse in my life, from sexual assault as a child and a teenager to mental and physical abuse from parents and yet, out of all the form of abuse I have gone through, isolation and having too much time to be into my own head has always been the worst. I have worked really hard to overcome the years of abuse and to get my mental health in a good place and people who make these type of comments don't understand how trauma works. They don't understand that while abuse is traumatic while it's occurring, the trauma that comes with surviving abuse is something on a whole other level. The act of surviving sexual assault as a child took me as long as the sexual assault actively took, but surviving the outcome of being sexually assaulted (or physically or mentally) took ten time the time it took to survive the act. I am still surviving it as I type and it's a daily battle. Some days are easier than others and in normal circumstances I would say I am fine, but those aren't normal circumstances and when people make comments like they have done to you about ''being grateful'' our main concern is being ''alone'' and not sick/a nurse/looking after an autistic child, it makes my blood fucking boil because I feel the same way about them. Well wouldn't I love it if the only traumatic thing in my life would be worrying about my health knowing that if I die in the frontline I die a fucking hero having saved as many lives as I possibly could? Wouldn't I love it if I had made it to old age and frail and the only time I ever had to feel alone and lonely was in death ? Would it be that traumatic if I could have a magic wand and erase all the abuse I had to go through in exchange for a child with autism? Of course all of those situation are hard and traumatic in their own ways and deserve their own acknowledgment but it's so fucking rude of people to suggest that my mental health and survival is somehow not as important as the health and survival of a 93YO granny or as hard as the mother of a child with autism. I wonder how many of the people who made those suggestions would genuinely swap their lives with mine and suggest they are better off?
A lot of my surviving years of abuse was through doing stuff that require some sort of socialization and me staying away from my own thoughts and right now I have LOTS of time with my thoughts and none of my coping mechanism that help my PTSD and other outcomes from trauma that is starting to creep back up due to isolation available, and no real end date as to when I can expect to have access to those coping mechanism again, and it is terrifying and truly hellish for me. So much that if signing up to be sexually assaulted as a child again today would guarantee the end of the lockdown and a return to normalcy and would in turn make my mental health go back to what it was a month or so ago. I would sign RIGHT NOW and travel back in time and go through it all again because I know I can survive assault but the depression and mental health issues isolation create for me is another whole kettle of fish I had hoped never to have to face again and people who can't realize that for some people isolation isn't as simple as occupying yourself and being grateful you aren't affected by corona, have no understanding of life outside their own privileged bubbles.
Glad you are feeling a bit better though, OP and hope you continue to see positivity in the next couple of weeks, in the meantime know you aren't alone and that your feelings are 100% valid! 
MarginalGain ·
30/03/2020 09:01
Lockdown in the UK just started so right now most people are in '' finding joy in focusing on myself phase" but since I am a couple of weeks beyond that point, I will tell you that your fears are valid, because 4 weeks ago my mental health was at it's best, as was my life, but after a month of isolation (and lockdown has just been extended for another month today) I am starting to really see the impact of isolation on my mental health and it is TERRIFYING. I have worked SO HARD for my mental health and to get where I am (was?) mentally, and I am currently seeing it crumbling in front of me without being able to use any of the coping mechanism I would normally use and it is very scary for me.
I'm sorry to hear this.
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