To think this is torturing single people?

[VirtualHugsAllRound]

Even if it's intermittent lockdown and social distancing... Both mean you're not supposed to meet with family and friends.

If you live alone this is torture. Isolation is used as torture/punishment fgs!
We're always being shown that families are more important, that we've failed by not having a partner and reproducing. Now we are expected to live in isolation for months on end.

And at the end of it, no one is going to say "well done for undergoing months of torture to protect others" or support us with healing from the trauma this will cause. As usual, just expected to suck it up.

I cant do this.

@madamepewter come on here any time! We can be a support ❤️

What country did you move to?
I moved twice within Europe. Hope you don't mind but I'd rather PM you with the countries as I don't want to give too much away on here. Once I started applying a strategy it worked.

Being in enforced isolation is literally used as torture
It's statement like that that winds some people up. Enforced isolation used in torture is nothing like the comfort you get at home, nothing like it at all.

To say that you find it hard, that you are feeling depressed with negative thoughts and you'd find it easier if you were with someone, totally get my sympathy, but using words such as torture really doesn't.

There are words that should be used only in very specific context, and this is not one of them, for anyone.

It is hard but you can do it.

I've lived on my own, no family near, friends far away but I managed.

You obviously have a computer so why not FB chat with people. Use You Tube to 'visit' places. Learn something new off the web.

You don't 'need' to go out so 'see' people/places.

'Doesn't sharing this horrible time with a loved one ease it'?
Not if they're ill or a twat, or both!

I'm single & live alone with my cat.

But luckily I work 3 days a week in a hospital as an HCA so we all are there to support each other.
I actually enjoy my job even now because I enjoy working with my colleagues & the public. But obviously I don't like the high risk of catching covid so much.

I only work 3 days as I have mental illness & unstable epilepsy at present. So being alone the other 4 days isn't great.
My parents are over 70 so I can't see them.
My best friends all live at least 10 miles away so can't see them now.
But I see my sister who lives nearby, although we do practice social distancing when we meet up because I'm working with bank staff who nurse patients with suspected covid in minimal ppe!!

What 'helps' is thinking of people during times such as the Holocaust like Anne Frank who couldn't even go outside for over 2 years.
Or Clara Schwartz who lived in a small dirt bunker with up to 20 people in Poland & not much food again for over 2 years.

When you think of girls like that who were actually pushed to the limits of human endurance then you realise, actually I'm lucky & I can cope with my problems.
We have the internet, we are allowed out to exercise & do a supermarket shop, we have enough food & we can sit outside somewhere.
It's not nice to not talk to anybody face to face but you can have a short conversation with a neighbour, with a cashier or FaceTime a friend / relative even just for 5 minutes.

Doesn't sharing this horrible time with a loved one ease it'?

Not always.
My husband has been nervously pacing around, doing odd jobs, mumbling and barber got mentioned number of times.
He isn't isolating. He is on a day off....

Reading your last post op it seems you're encompassing the whole stretch, the entirety of it, in your mind. This is disastrous for those of us who are single /alone and struggle with our mental health.

In the first week of isolation I was practically catatonic with fear at the thought of the horror of not just isolation but endless isolation. I nearly lost the plot.

Maybe it was part of mentally coming to terms to assess the threat. But it isn't helpful to live in the future, it really isn't. It never is, of course, for anyone, but for those of us who battle with our mental health it is disastrous.

Stay in the day, op. Don't look ahead. Focus on some gratitudes at the start of the day as an essential discipline to kick start your day in the right direction. Then be in the moment and enjoy things, the little and the big. Mentally mark each good thing.

I have to do this or I've had it, frankly

My Mum turned 83 today. She lives by herself. I've been sad all day that none of us could go and see her. But we all understand why.

Speak for yourself, I’m having a fucking amazing time!

@chiyo666 you know you are talking to a person with mental health issues?

Sorry to hear you're struggling OP sending hugs and acknowledging that this is hard!

Why are people getting so mean and dictatorial on here lately!? Most people know how serious this is and the importance of staying in to protect the vulnerable and the NHS but there are all sorts of people who are finding isolation really hard for a variety of reasons.

Wishing some people would be a little more empathetic and kind. This is having a real impact on some people's mental health and telling them to think of others in worse situations isn't helpful. I thought the conversation around mental health had moved on a bit!?

Nope. I just read the OP and answered it.

I'm fine on my own vs being with people in general. The kicker for me is that I've just started seeing someone, first in ages & lovely. First person I've actually wanted in ages. We video chat & talk a lot but the separation is hard.

OP I'm so sorry you are struggling. I think we are all going to wobble at some point. I was in tears on Monday, my friend was on Friday etc. I'm sorry also that it is causing painful trauma to resurface.
PPs are right - it isn't a competition and your feelings are no less valid than anyone else's. You are you, do not be ashamed of that.
What has helped me this week

• having structure to my day with definite goals
• focusing on things that I will get to do that I don't normally have time for
• social interaction through video.

I don't know whether any of that will help but you are not alone and you do matter.

What you have to remember it is short term, it's shit it's very very lonely buy it won't last forever. There are so many people struggling for a thousand different reasons, try and spend the time planning what you will do once this is over. In the meantime stay safe ❤️

I just watched this. It is very moving, but also carries a really important message about living in the now and having a fulfilling mental/imaginative life. https://twitter.com/bbcideas/status/1243204311951310848?s=21

@VirtualHugsAllRound
You matter, and your feelings are totally valid. I’m sorry you’re finding this so hard, & I hope things get easier for you.

Why are people getting so mean and dictatorial on here lately!? Most people know how serious this is and the importance of staying in to protect the vulnerable and the NHS but there are all sorts of people who are finding isolation really hard for a variety of reasons
If I had to hazard a guess I'd say because the same people are looking for external sources to shore up their own self esteem. They look for others transgressions or what they perceive as such and point them out in conjunction with their own virtue, in order to push up their relative position. They also try to gain reflected life points by talking about how their brother/friend/partner is a (insert flavour of the month job).

OP. It sounds really tough.

Two of my single friends who are in good physical and mental health and are very resilient have been finding this really difficult. I was a bit surprised that it had hit them so hard, so quickly. We probably don’t appreciate the value of human interaction until it stops.

Good God. I hope I am not the only person who has reported Chiyo's post. Talk about kicking someone when they're down. Despicable behaviour.

YANBU. I’ve been trying to find someone for years and I feel like this current situation just proves how badly I’ve failed. All of my friends are either with someone or isolating with friends. I am literally alone.

Being single is NOT a FAIL.

I think it's not just going through this alone but the feeling of not mattering.
Look at headlines in papers. Mother of 3 etc. Makes a lot of us feel like we don't matter