To think this is torturing single people?

[VirtualHugsAllRound]

Even if it's intermittent lockdown and social distancing... Both mean you're not supposed to meet with family and friends.

If you live alone this is torture. Isolation is used as torture/punishment fgs!
We're always being shown that families are more important, that we've failed by not having a partner and reproducing. Now we are expected to live in isolation for months on end.

And at the end of it, no one is going to say "well done for undergoing months of torture to protect others" or support us with healing from the trauma this will cause. As usual, just expected to suck it up.

I cant do this.

Being single doesn't make this any worse than it does for people in any other marital state

I think it does. Doesn't sharing this horrible time with a loved partner ease it? Of course it does.

Some singletons might be just fine, but most of them would be happier in a good relationship.

@rollacolla84 , you say you won't have a hug for months.

I haven't (single, no children) had a hug in over ten years!

I think many people are struggling for a plethora of reasons, the key is to try and find what will work for you. For me I schedule facetime with my friends, gives us all a bit of structure and something to look forward to. My husband is deployed with work and won't be back for 5 months, and DS had his 12 month jabs last week and is super grumpy, whingy, and hating being stuck in. It's also hell, and there will be those who are literally trapped with their abusers, no one is suffering more or more worthy of sympathy, we should all be trying to support each other, but recognising I don't think it's a bed of roses for anyone.

Haven’t RTFT so this has probably been said already but why don’t you volunteer for the NHS?

Alot of people do not have alot of close friends either. So no one to face time

And it was social things like meetings, groups, meetup.com where many people got their social life.

They are all gone now

I am on my own. I agree it is tough. I had to go to the doctors for a blood test this morning. I then went through town seeing acquaintances at a distance. A friend of mine came into town at the same time. I bought my bread at the baker and two tins of coke and two cakes. We adjourned to the local park, (I was combining blood test with exercise). Throughout we maintained the appropriate social distance. We sat in the park for 15 minutes, and had a chat from a distance. It lifted my spirits no end. It’s not something I will do every day or even week, but every couple of weeks will keep me going, I think.

I am also using Skype and WhatsApp. I was very impressed. My friend who is a retired nurse was able to confirm my sore eye is a stye over Skype.

@amymayapple

But for others as well, you can acknowledge a reason its particularly shit for one person or group without insisting on proving its worse for someone else.

Proving my point much ? I'm sorry for that but it's not a competition. Anyway, I have work to do.

I am absolutely disgusted with some of the competitive " well the front line workers have it worse So you have no right at all to express anything" merchants. It is extremely depressing being alone and unable to go out and expressing that depression does not in any way denigrate the difficulties others face. If people cant show a bit of empathy now when can they?
Honestly OP I get it. Underlying unhappiness does not go away or cease to be valid in a public crisis situation. I have said before and will again, there are people online delighting in dragging others down. One of the reasons I left the UK was this underlying culture of negative, judgmental "there was a war 75 years ago, so stop moaning and get on with it". Does expressing negative feelings in any situation automatically qualify as moaning? It is as if there is an arbiter of validity somewhere who has a scale of qualification for sympathy: You are alone 25 points, your partner is a key worker 50 points, you have been bereaved 75 points and so on. I absolutely hate this situation and I seriously believe if mental health was bad before (it was) it will be appalling after this period of isolation. Oh and suddenly everyone has become a cheerleader for the NHS and expects a government bail out despite 30% or more of the electorate voting in governments dedicated to stripping public services. This is awful and many people's reaction to it is awful.

MarginalGain
maybe do some research about what is lockdown and where is under lockdown before going onto random rants online. You don't need to go further than Sweden, but you should.

When you are talking about facts, not your random thoughts presented as facts, please do come back and bring something to the discussion
.

I'm sorry you're struggling op however we are all struggling not just single people and they're certainly not bearing the brunt of it.
Get into a routine, make sure to take a daily walk, immerse yourself in a new hobby or book, phone friends and family every day.

It could be a lot worse OP. You could shut in with my DH, the grumpiest human being on the planet!!! YABU ..... it’s not for ever.

@RollaCola84 off you go, so!

I am absolutely disgusted with some of the competitive
that's great dear.

Except, nowadays, EVERYBODY is under the same conditions, there's no special privileges or luck. Unless you are a royal or a super rich, yes, but the general population is under the exact same circumstances.
So moaning because this or that, when EVERYBODY has to deal with the same shit but you think you have it harder does not deserve that much sympathy, does it.

Now, the people who have lost loved ones, or the front line workers - who are purely risking their lives - they do have something to complain about.

The rest of us is told to potter around at home and spend all day guilt-free on random forums or others. Trying to be special and to make drama is unnecessary.

however we are all struggling not just single people and they're certainly not bearing the brunt of it.

Why bother posting?

Sadbadglad So sorry

OP what's the alternative? It's an easy choice for me since I don't want to die.

I think Coronavirus has just exagerrated how shit my life is anyway.

No partner to support me.
Barely any close family.
Barely any close friends.

It must be nice to have friends to face time

*Why bother posting?
*
Because it was a question? In AIBU?

Or are we all supposed to reply like one homogenous mass

Net huns is that way >

I think we should keep our sympathy and actually try to do something - at least keep our ears open, what else can we do - about kids being abused and women being beaten up, not encouraging self-pity from people who are a bit bored. Aren't we all.

Even dropping sandwiches to people who qualify is better than self-pity.

I think everyone is suffering in a different way! I've got a sister who's single and struggling with loneliness, elderly parents who are unwell and struggling, I'm struggling because the house is now full with adult dc who've come back here to work from home and are treating it like a little holiday and I'm chief cook and bottle washer. On top of that the whole family seem to be deferring to me to make my parents behave themselves (my DF is still popping out to the shops when we have all asked him to stay put) Yesterday I was daydreaming about swapping with my sister for a bit of peace.

Amymayapple
the whole world (..or something like that) is stuck at home. Now is the time to join local online groups, forums and make friends online. Join your community, get involved, you don't have to be alone.

Well YABU because while your situation might be bad for you, for some families it's being at home together which is torture. Not every bloody family is a happy one. You can speak to people, skype them, make them gifts. They can go out once a day. If their partner/children make that feasible.
At the moment it's not months, it's provisionally 3 weeks. But the longer people whinge and play devil-may-care with the rules, the longer it will last.

It's tough, it's shit, it's unprecedented, it's unknown and it's frightening.

It's frightening different people in different ways.

OP please try and find some coping strategies. Stephen Fry was in recently and had some great tips. He's the president of mind. See if you can find it on YouTube?

@JustInCaseCakeHappens

Was the girl who killed herself, just a bit bored?

What about all the campaigns that say mental health is as important as physical health

@Crystal87 Can you not meet a friend for a walk?

We are told explicitly that we cannot socialise with anyone outside our own household!

Was the girl who killed herself, just a bit bored?

She was autistic and was struggling with being unable to carry on with her regular routines and being without her friendship and support network. So desperately sad.