To be mortified by DH

[Syncrows]

Obviously things have moved quite fast in the last week but I’m really worried about this.

DH worked for the NHS and has been worried about coronavirus for a while. We have two children at infant school. On Tuesday there was a display for Mother’s Day and on Wednesday some other assembly.

On Thursday DH rang up and absolutely lost it, shouting and swearing.

I know schools have now shut and the kids won’t be going in but I’m worried about when they do.

Should I try to get them in elsewhere ... I’m serious.

Perhaps then pavolva you could use this time to brush up your reading skills.

See, it isn’t very nice when people are snarky for no reason and I’ve had 9 pages of it now.

@PeterWeg

Absolutely!!! I 100% agree with you!

Don't worry OP.

By the time this is all over, the person who heard his swearing will probably wholeheartedly agree he was right to be that upset (although is probably entitled to an apology for the actual swearing)

And having been sworn at some number of months ago will be the least of their worries. I shouldn't think they will hold a grudge.

You don't need to move your kids school when it is time to go back. It will all be fine.

What a lot of drama over nothing.
The school were idiots, your husband shouldn’t have sworn but tbh I have more sympathy with him than the school.

If everyone is still alive at the end of this I’m sure they won’t care.

Hi. I work in a school office and this last week has been busy beyond belief. I’ve never had so many calls!
On Monday last week our school cancelled all assemblies (with or without parents), staggered lunch times so they could wipe down in between year groups and sent out learning packs ASAP and everyone entering the building had to wash their hands.
The school should not have had extra people in. The school was wrong. I am not surprised your DH went mad at them. I expect that, had schools not shut the next day, they would at least have reviewed their thinking after his call.
I don’t think you need to move schools. After everything else this week they will have forgotten about it by the time we go back.

I'm team DH. 😳

And the op wasn't confusing at all........ People need to stop trying so hard at being deliberately thick. It's tedious.

Does he normally yell and swear at random people op?

To be honest it's good that he no longer deals with vulnerable patients. He doesn't sound very nice to me.

syncrows,

I have read the thread.

The school were daft. Your husband swore. You don't need to move your kids because of that.

Hi OP, what does your husband think is the right thing to do as a result of his actions? I know he doesn't want to apologise but does he think he's jeopardised the children at all (for when they go back?). Can you discuss it together?

FWIW I do think the school was in the wrong and can see why he was annoyed - though his approach ws not the right one.

Why send the kids to school if he was that concerned ?

There’s not much an NHS worker could lose their shut over right now that would bother me, the pressure they’re under is immense as is their level of ‘scared shitless if what’s to come’

We are all scared shitless about what is to come and NHS staff need treat other people in a civilised manner and not lose their shit. I've worked for the NHS. I've dealt with arseholes and been shouted and sworn at for doing my job. It's shit, but you just have to handle it. If you can't, then the NHS is not the place for you.

Schools were not given any guidance and advice last week and went from being told everything is normal to being shut. It is not the school's problem. If your husband had a problem with your children being there then he could have kept them at home.

There are definitely idiots around - those ignoring calls to stay at home etc, but schools last week were not on that list. If anyone wants to blame anything, then look to our government for not responding quick enough.

It's hard for everyone. I'm trying to keep two elderly and vulnerable people alive during this, as well as keeping my staff employed. Other people have other shit to deal with. No one has the right to abuse other people - and that includes NHS staff.

Cut your husband some slack. Schools had plenty of warning to cut back on activities and external visits Z(like class assemblies). For what it's worth what the fuck were they thinking? And the parents that were attending? Ridiculous.
Sounds like he's pretty stressed. No he shouldn't have sworn at anyone. Is he embarrassed?

Op's husband is an ex NHS worker.

Don't move your children, thats overkill.

Totally understand your DHs frustration.

Call whoever he shouted out to apologise for his behaviour if you think that would smooth things over, but not for his opinion. He should have just expressed his opinion, which I agree with, in a better manner.

He could have raised his concerns on Monday, instead he waits till Thursday after these events to have his pointless rant....Knob.

I work in a school office - last week was very stressful. If he had phoned up and spoken to me like that I'd have burst into tears, and you bet my head teacher would have called him straight back to ask what HE thought he was playing at.

If a man had answered the phone how would he have reacted..?

Your Dh was an arsehole. I’m currently surrounded by actual NHS workers right in the thick of things and none of them have ‘lost their shit’.
He was in the wrong.

And your op was confusing. It wasn’t clear who he rang up ( you or the school?), why he was angry (schools hadn’t closed yet?) when or why you wanted to move them (now or September? because of safety concerns or because you were embarrassed?)

Given that schools didn’t close til Friday, I think he was unreasonable, although we told parents not to come on site. We still had about 900 students on site Thursday and Friday. I understand he’s seeing the consequences, but shouting at the receptionist, who no doubt had sod all to do with the decision to keep the events going, is a bit much. I doubt he managed to speak to the head given how bonkers things were last week.

So if an nhs worker comes home and beats up their partner because they are stressed are we now going to be sayIng ‘Please thank them for their dedication’

Exactly. Apparently he's to be entirely excused for being abusive to a hapless receptionist and even now, refusing to accept that he should apologise, because he once worked for the NHS. I wonder what else he's to be excused for?

I used to work in a school office and sometimes we did have parents phone up and lose their shit with us. Yes we did remember it and more importantly record it as a ‘watching brief’ on the safeguarding file.
If a father can behave like this with school staff what are they like with mum and kids at home.
Are you ok op? Do you need help?

OP, he was definitely unreasonable, however it would be overkill to change schools because of it. It wasn’t that difficult to understand what you were saying if you rtft and/or your responses, some people just want to be difficult or lack reading comprehension.

What he does is irrelevant. He was ridiculously rude to someone. It doesn’t matter how much stress he is under. It was uncalled for. If he was as concerned as he said he was, he could have pulled the kids out of school as other parents did before the government decided to shut them. He didn’t but has the gall to phone the school up and yell at whoever answered. He SHOULD be apologising, not you on his behalf.

Can’t believe people want to give him a free pass for being an a$$.

Your idea of moving school is an extreme reaction. Quite odd really.

It suggests to me that you want to move them because the school have found out the children have an abusive father.

Are you hiding DV?

Your kids won't suffer OP because the school will be PROFESSIONAL in their treatment of them. (As a PP said, they will probably be more looked after now they know there is one parent who is prone to being verbally abusive.) Maybe your ex-doctor husband should reflect on what professional means. Dick.

More power to him. People like him are just what damn fools like your DC's school need to get the message through to them.