To be mortified by DH

[Syncrows]

Obviously things have moved quite fast in the last week but I’m really worried about this.

DH worked for the NHS and has been worried about coronavirus for a while. We have two children at infant school. On Tuesday there was a display for Mother’s Day and on Wednesday some other assembly.

On Thursday DH rang up and absolutely lost it, shouting and swearing.

I know schools have now shut and the kids won’t be going in but I’m worried about when they do.

Should I try to get them in elsewhere ... I’m serious.

YABU.

Your post was confusing; it wasn’t at all clear. You didn’t explain what happened, why your husband went mad at the school or how they responded.

You have since, through several drip feeds and repeated questions, cleared it up a little. But there really is no point posting if people don’t have a clue what you’re posting about.

You don’t need to be so silly and self absorbed to think your kids need to move schools because your husband is a dick. He just needs to apologise and let bygones be bygones.

However, previously working for the NHS does not mean he gets to get “worked up” and shout at people. He needs to learn to control his temper.

I'm very glad your DH is no longer an NHS doctor. I'm sorry he is unwell but he sounds entirely unsuited to the job, if he is willing to behave that way.

I am a current NHS worker and a grumpy bastard at times but wouldn't dream of this behaviour. He needs to apologise, at length, and seriously reflect on his appalling behaviour.

If all he said was "what the fuck do you think you're doing" it's hardly the abusive precursor to violence people are making it out to be.
I am school staff (SLT) I wouldn't change how I treated a child over this. In the real world people aren't perfect, parents get angry and sometimes swear but they are human so you empathise and deal with the issues.

I doubt this guy was an NHS doctor tbf

Nobody should be swearing at the staff at their child's school. Having worked at schools for many years, I can tell you that the staff will all know about him swearing at a staff member like this, and while they'll get that he was under stress and it was exceptional time, they'll remember it and be wary of interactions with him. He could have made his point without swearing/becoming aggressive. OTT to move your children though as it won't affect the way they treat your kids.

I doubt this guy was an NHS doctor tbf
Why? They are human, with flaws, with stress, with fear.

DH are both front line. We are both stressed. We are both afraid of what is happening to the country and it's vulnerable members. We are seeing it first hand. We are both angry and emotional - holding it in from society but it leaks out at home. It's fear, trauma, sadness, anger. People do not realise the things we see and partake in (and not just in current times, but the reality of frontline healthcare ), do not realise that it is impossible not to have an emotional response. We are not stone. We all have some kind of cumulative trauma. None of us are perfect. No one teaches us how to process it or even recognise it. We just try our best and some of us keep on going til we break.

I'm not saying OP's husband was right in the way he acted, but I am saying I can understand why.
I DO think he needs to apologise.
But him behaving like a dick does not make him "not a doctor", FFS

The country is in turmoil at the moment. Lets give the bitchy comments a rest for a bit and practice some kindess. God knows we all need it right now.

Oh I forgot the point of the AIBU. OP, no you do not need to remove your children from the school. They won't suffer as a result of a parents behaviour, but they will suffer being uprooted again after this time of uncertainty.

Also, your initial post made perfect sense. Sometimes I come here and think I've walked into some kind of parallel universe 🤦🏽‍♀️

I am with your DH. I have friend working in hospital and it is already incredibly tough. Having an assembly? My arse. I can understand why someone working at the frontline lost their shit. shame on the school for not taking better action. We need more of your DH now than those taking it easy.

@chocoholico the DH isn't working on the frontline, he has previously and isn't working at the moment. The person he spoke to was a receptionist and didn't deserve his wrath, they are no doubt frightened themselves and trying to preserve their job and health.

Your post was not confusing at all. I feel sorry for you with all the idiots jumping on your post and coming to their own ridiculous conclusions.

DH and I are both front line*
Clearly I am too stressed to type

@PonteLaCorona wind your neck in, it was the assumption that all NHS workers must be doctors...

@Syncrows I’ve read the thread. Your DH doesn’t have to apologise and the school will not treat your children any differently.