Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be mortified by DH

238 replies

Syncrows · 22/03/2020 17:58

Obviously things have moved quite fast in the last week but I’m really worried about this.

DH worked for the NHS and has been worried about coronavirus for a while. We have two children at infant school. On Tuesday there was a display for Mother’s Day and on Wednesday some other assembly.

On Thursday DH rang up and absolutely lost it, shouting and swearing.

I know schools have now shut and the kids won’t be going in but I’m worried about when they do.

Should I try to get them in elsewhere ... I’m serious.

OP posts:
puds11 · 23/03/2020 01:28

Tbh I’d have some choice words if my DDs school were stupid enough to say they were going to be doing something like this.

If he was/is frontline NHS I can understand his reaction. All he’s seeing is additional patients because of utter stupidity. He shouldn’t have sworn at them, but he was definitely right to call in and raise the issue. Too many people aren’t raising issues with things like this.

NewYearNewJob123 · 23/03/2020 01:49

I'd be mortified too if I was married to an abusive twat like that.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 23/03/2020 03:04

OHhhhhh dear.

I can understand why he lost it with them, but he almost certainly aimed his vitriol at the wrong person and for that alone he should apologise.

I wouldn't bother moving your children though - it's unlikely that anyone will "take it out" on them. Your DH should definitely go and apologise profusely.

SpillTheTeaa · 23/03/2020 04:21

How embarrassing and what childish behaviour.
I wouldn't move schools but if re think being with someone so abusive.
He made someone's day 10x shitter. What a c**t

twinnywinny14 · 23/03/2020 04:31

Email an apology to the headteacher and ask for it to be forwarded to the necessary staff

Peppafrig · 23/03/2020 04:57

I work in a school and if he swore and roared down the phone at one of the staff at our school he would find himself banned from attending the school again. It has happened before abuse to staff should not be tolerated in any shape or form. Big man he thinks he is swearing at a woman down the phone. He sounds horrible .

user1480880826 · 23/03/2020 05:14

Your husband is completely justified. The school are out of order for holding unnecessary social gatherings during a pandemic.

I can totally forgive an NHS worker for being angry and exhausted.

Bowerbird5 · 23/03/2020 05:23

No the children will need the stability.

Parents often shout and swear at staff. I had it the first day back in September. Coronavirus will excuse him especially as he works in NHS.
Ask him to send an apology and although he might have a little mental black mark against him for a while it will be ok. They may just forget about anyway. There may have been more than him.

Why didn’t you just keep your children off?

The schools had to wait for a directive from the Education Authority or the Trust before the could close. Our Head was expecting it from a week Friday.

Tescodelivery · 23/03/2020 05:55

I’ve made it as clear as I can boo ... DH yelled at our kids school 🤷🏼‍♀️

What about? The fact that they had assembly and some Mother's Day thing?
Read your posts back. You are NOT clear.

If he ranted about going ahead with public events maybe the school did need to hear his 'angry' words.
If he ranted because the school was likely to close at the end of the week, he's a prick.

EerieSilence · 23/03/2020 06:05

He was absolutely BU.
He should be grateful the school still supports the effort of the government to ensure herd immunity.
Just because BoJo didn’t live up to his Winston Churchill moment and backpedaled from the effort to keep the economy going, doesn’t mean the nursery should.
These events are important so our little babies aren’t shattered and emotionally scarred by not having the important events in their lives celebrated.
Your DH needs to apologise. Just because he works somewhere on an overfilled ward, with risk groups dying doesn’t give him the right to be an aggressive snowflake.

Original poster
Syncrows · 23/03/2020 06:42

Well. Hopefully it’s clear now. I’m managing totally on my own with 4 kids locked up Hmm

We did think about keeping them off but they are so young (reception and year one) and thought the schools would be closed on Friday and then they were.

OP posts:
Kaykay066 · 23/03/2020 07:13

They’ve not even been off a day yet? I have 4 and it’s not that hard to manage over a normal weekend with your own kids?...it’s going to be hard yes having them at home for this length of time but I am assuming your husband has days off?...I’m a single parent so I go to work (nurse) then I have them so no husband back to help out

If your husband was that bothered about school he’d have taken them out earlier? What was it he does? Clearly not overly bright, otherwise he’d have phoned and asked why they went ahead with these assemblies given current issues and that he thought it was a bad idea, if someone phoned him shouting and swearing what would he do?...I’m stressed and worried and have an asthmatic child I don’t want to pass this on to but I still do my job and come home and treat people with respect. Your husband should try it sometime you never said what he does he works for nhs or not?

Original poster
Syncrows · 23/03/2020 07:19

I was explaining why my post was apparently unclear. I don’t think it was but I’m on my own with 4 kids so maybe didn’t have loads of time to compose it. What’s with the big long horrible post kay?

OP posts:
foamrolling · 23/03/2020 07:21

Unbelievable. So he could have made the decision to keep his children home but instead allowed them to continue to go to school but was apparently so incandescent with rage at the school being open he verbally abused whoever picked up the phone - without even bothering to check who they were? My god. There's no excuse for that.

I hope you're OK op. I don't suppose he's easy to live with either.

Original poster
Syncrows · 23/03/2020 07:28

No he was angry at the assembly and the mother day thing.

OP posts:
ChardonnaysPetDragon · 23/03/2020 07:32

I wonder who he will shout at next time he's angry.

mostlydrinkstea · 23/03/2020 07:37

I have been a receptionist and the horrible part of the job is picking up the phone to someone who just launches into you. We were trained to use a simple 'if you continue to swear I will but the phone down.' Your husband will be remembered. It is not water off a duck's back. This morning school receptionists are going to be fielding a lot of calls from parents who are not key workers but want their children in schools. An apology about last week's abusive behaviour albeit motivated by fear might be much appreciated.

Original poster
Syncrows · 23/03/2020 07:44

I’m seriously considering looking into a different school for them.

OP posts:
PerkyPomPoms · 23/03/2020 07:56

Yeah, cos it’s the school that’s the problem here....

Original poster
Syncrows · 23/03/2020 07:56

I didn’t say it was.

OP posts:
ChardonnaysPetDragon · 23/03/2020 07:57

It might be easier for him to apologise that for you to be looking for a new school.

Bulb1976 · 23/03/2020 07:59

OP what does your husband do for a living? You are being very vague..

JudyCoolibar · 23/03/2020 07:59

I wouldn't move them, OP. It's going to be months before schools will reopen, and your husband's call is going to be history by then. If you can get him to apologise for shouting, so much the better.

Original poster
Syncrows · 23/03/2020 08:00

He won’t apologise. Why does what he do for a living matter?

OP posts:
Bulb1976 · 23/03/2020 08:01

You mentioned the NHS, so the question is relevant

Swipe left for the next trending thread