To be mortified by DH

[Syncrows]

Obviously things have moved quite fast in the last week but I’m really worried about this.

DH worked for the NHS and has been worried about coronavirus for a while. We have two children at infant school. On Tuesday there was a display for Mother’s Day and on Wednesday some other assembly.

On Thursday DH rang up and absolutely lost it, shouting and swearing.

I know schools have now shut and the kids won’t be going in but I’m worried about when they do.

Should I try to get them in elsewhere ... I’m serious.

It was the government’s decision not to close schools until the end last week. And up until that point most schools had not been given any government guidance on specific measures to avoid transmission. But yeah, take it out on the receptionist, who was most likely a woman and not particularly well paid. That’ll teach ‘em!

Schools should record their abusive callers play them back in assemblies.

He sounds like a spectacular arsehole, who should have phoned back five minutes later to offer a severely humble apology to whichever member of staff had to deal with that call.

But as the call was on Thursday, and today is Sunday, I'm guessing he thinks that level of abuse to someone who did nothing more than answer the phone is ok? Would he say the same if someone spoke to an A&E receptionist that way?

The school may have messed up on this one (I think they did). But your DH really, REALLY needs to apologise.

Sorry Syncrows but your OP was confusing.

I mean the assemblies parents are invited to.

The fact that your husband used to work for the NHS and even if he still does is no excuse for him being abusive to school staff. Sadly though I'm sure they are used to it, as are NHS staff so he should know better. I'd be mortified too.

So IS he repentant, OP? Is HE mortified at his behaviour?

...and yes, if he used to work for the NHS, he should know better than to lose his temper with people trying to manage a difficult situation.

What does he do in the NHS?

Actually it doesn’t matter, he yelled at someone who has literally no say in the decision. Does he feel all big and clever now?

Did they give an answer OP, as to what the fuck they thought they were playing at, I mean? Because I am with your DH in wondering. Personally in these times I would not hold it against anyone for losing it in that situation.

Would he say the same if someone spoke to an A&E receptionist that way?

The NHS has a very clear zero tolerance policy for patients and their family members who physically and verbally abuse members of staff. The posters are up in all surgeries, clinics and hospitals, and the policy applies even if the patient or family member in question is stressed, scared or traumatised.

What a wanker.

Shouting and swearing at school office staff about something they'll have absolutely no control over, is no different to shouting and swearing at delivery drivers, because half your shopping is missing.

Probably didn’t give an answer Inkpaperstars, because being a receptionist and not a member a the SLT, they wouldn’t have been the one to make the decision in the first place. Did he actually want an answer, or just someone to take his anger out on?

Your DH is right.

Maybe swearing at the school was OTT, but this is a life or death situation - and people aren't taking it seriously. I wouldn't do anything now, OP - just self isolate as far as you possibly can.

I don't think your DH was one bit rude, unless he yelled at the receptionist. But the HT or principal needed a serious bollocking.

I think his concerns are absolutely valid and that he was completely justified in giving appropriate school personnel a dressing down about the seriously stupid events they arranged.

It's one thing to remain open on government orders, but going out of your way to get a big group of people together in one assembly space is reckless and irresponsible, to say the least.

Do these people not see the news from other countries? Or even see that London hospitals experienced a bed crisis this week due to the virus?

I would definitely take your children out of the school. This is because the school administrators are idiots who compromised the health of the school community and every one of their contacts. They are not to be trusted with the safety and welfare of your children.

He needs to apologise for using abusive language. Can he send in a letter or card.

Abusing staff is absolutely not acceptable. He should explain he was at the front line, exhausted and worried. Doesn’t make it okay - and I am sure he is outraged when nhs staff are treated like this.

Speaking as someone who works in the school office during these hideous times, they won't forget.

I don't think your DH was one bit rude, unless he yelled at the receptionist.

Shouting at someone is rude. Swearing at someone is rude.

The school will have forgotten about it when your kids return. They have better things to be worrying about than rude parents.

I don't think your DH was one bit rude

Why not? He started the conversation with yelling 'what the fuck do you think you are playing at’ and by the OP's account, 'completely lost it'.

Believe me, were it not for being a professional with some fucking manners whilst at work , the answer he deserved was 'How the fuck should I know? I don't make the fucking decisions round here. Piss off, wanker' and the phone slammed down on him.

OP, can he come and shout at our executive head who wants to bring the staff from two schools all together into one building on Tuesday - probably into one room for the briefing that could be done over email... social distancing, my arse.

Well I agree that the receptionist is not responsible in any way. I have worked as a receptionist in multiple settings and also in retail, I have had my fair share of misdirected anger and I could often still sympathise with it.

I just wondered if he had any further reply from them.

I don't understand the relevance of either the display or the assembley.

Our school cancelled assemblies in the last week but the head didn’t want to. It was only after pressure from staff. As in the rest of the general public, there are ostriches running schools too.