Men are finding this isolation/social distancing harder than women

[justasking111]

I am finding it harder to keep OH occupied than any child I have had. Having raised three being housebound through their illnesses plus one six week illness of my own. I am finding it more challenging to keep OH on an even keel, he had a mini explosion last night over something minor. He is champing at the bit to be out and about.

I cannot entertain him with puzzles, games, BBC learning unfortunately.

@Redyellowpink

Perfectly put

Point him in the direction of your laundry basket and tell him to get on with it.

@Redyellowpink there is a great deal of truth in your observations

My ex is climbing the walls and full of misplaced Bear G type wanderlust and SAS aggression / bivouacking on crack as per normal except it’s ramped up exponentially
He’s full of disdain and incredulity for the restrictions and given that our children live with me is getting increasingly fucked off by the fact I’ve bought some grub and have enough to entertain them in the home and garden and with a 7am dog walk three hours before he gets up .

I am trying to see the funny side of his behaviour through truthfully it’s appalling I just don’t want the children to be upset. Now the National Trust have closed the parks he’s apoplectic. That hasn’t stopped him asking me if I could sub him some tonic water and potatoes though

OP... you say 'perfectly put' to Redyellowpinks excellent post and yet you indulge your DH like this?
How can you agree with her post on one hand but have to work at keeping your DH on an even keel with the other.

We're all in this together, we all now have restrictions on our lives, why should I feel sorry for my DH, I don't!

Your DH sounds like a child OP, maybe he should think about all the partners (male and female) that are having the risk their lives going to work, because, you know, they are getting to leave the house and everything 🙄

I thought people could apply for a divorce initially on line, wouldn’t people be doing that as they have time to fill in the forms 🤷‍♀️😬

Sorry OP your husband does sound like a twat.

I wonder how many Corona-divorces there will be?

My husband adores confinement, he plays video games and likes UFO documentaries.

I agree with arethere take on it, so many relationships are one sided with dominant men bullying their wives.
I think its more apparent if you are stuck together 24/7.
God how many women are going to get rid of their twatty husbands after this 😂
Or more likely make silly excuses about action men/ lack of freedom etc 🙄

@dejavuAgain

Feminism doesn't trump millions of years of evolutionary biology

Let me guess... something about men having evolved to be out hunting mammoths, and women having evolved to stay in the cave with the children?

If so, then there are no words for how inaccurate that is. If that is your broad assumption about "how we lived as cavemen" then sounds more like The Flintstones than actual reality.

And, as pointed out, there werent any humans "millions of years ago". A previous poster's excellent summation of why some men might gave been socialised to find this harder than women (not used to having their freedom curtailed, not used to putting others ahead of their own needs, not used to having to self soothe or carry the mental load, etc) is much closer to the mark.

Swap him for a lazy bastard like mine, who is making the most of this opportunity to lie on the sofa inspecting the back of his eyelids for hours on end.

My heart bleeds purple piss for the poor diddums 🙄

It's unbelievably pathetic. I would be so utterly disappointed in DH if he expected me to entertain him but also if he expected me to the sole entertainer for DS.

You husband is a behaving like a prick. ADHD is not an excuse. He knows right from wrong. He is old enough to know if he is stressed at being bored HE needs to self manage and not take it out on those closest to him.

Wow, so many house jobs he can do to keep amused. First one that springs to mind is empty out and clean all cupboards in the house, then put everything back nice and organised. That'll keep him going for a while.

No reason he can't wash the walls from top to bottom, inside and out. There's always windows too.

As ever when I read threads like this I am astounded at what some women will put up with from ridiculous man babies. Open your eyes!

Sorry OP but he sounds like a grade A twat.

I agree with Redyellowpink, excellent post. It’s not my personal circumstances - my DH just works from home but even without it he could keep himself busy without my involvement absolutely. However I had back issues for several months recently and couldn’t sit for more than 20 minutes, it’s very difficult and frustrating so I can see OP’s DH side with operation being cancelled.
OP, could he do video assessment with physio and start doing exercises for his arm and back? It might keep him busier than he could imagine.

Love how from the OP‘s perspective all adult men who can stay at home with their families without exploding at their children and sulking are “happy clappy men”

Quite! DP is a grumpy, sweary misanthrope but he's perfectly content to loaf about at home. To him, hell is other people and having to work.

(He is also funny, clever, kind and great in the sack, before anyone asks what I see in him!)

To him, hell is other people and having to work

Amen to this.

If this relationship ends I would try an adult next time, OP.

Most of the men in my life are very adept at disappearing into screens of some kind, a trait perfect for self isolating i would have thought

It's male entitlement not evolutionary biology ffs. Funny how depending on what best advantages men, they're either naturally more or less sociable eh? Convenient.

He needs to get the fuck over himself and do his bit like most others are.

Redyellowpink at 18:07, exactly. That's exactly it.

I gave mine a big long list of everything that needs doing in the house and garden. There's enough to keep him going for weeks. He's now quietly sitting at the computer......

Tell him to suck it up buttercup
Although I really don't think it's a feminist issue, it's a personality trait, surely not whether you're male or female!
I mean, MIL's finding it extremely hard and wants to be out and about.
Although I can see where you're coming from as my DH is the same, really doesn't know how to just chill and "be!"
Always has to be out doing something.
I certainly aren't bloody entertaining him though, he's a grown adult and needs to find ways to time fill at home by himself

I think it's pathetic that men can't amuse themselves. My friend says her (adult) in his thirties son is going to go crazy, as is her DH.Well...... tough tits!

Yay, my attitude entirely - tough titties indeed lol