To feel a bit robbed

[codenameduchess]

While I adore both of my children I can't help but feel robbed of my maternity leave.

Eldest is in reception so will be at home from Friday, youngest is 4 months so I'm still on mat leave meaning we're lucky in that there are no childcare problems

But obviously the time I had just me and baby is now gone, he will not get any of the lovely special time I got with the eldest and by the time (god willing) schools are back and we have some normality back I will have to go back to work.

There are much bigger problems I know, I just needed to acknowledge it as this is my last baby and I'm sad that maternity leave is this.... I don't know what, it's stressful and anxiety ridden and I can't really process it all.

I want to hug my baby's tight and keep them safe forever but at the same time I'm resenting not having our lives.

I don't think it matters if she has anxiety. I'm really upset my gyms closed. puts on hard hat

OP I feel for you with the bashing you're getting on here, some Mumsnet bitches be brutal, if it's a problem or an issue to you, it's a problem or an issue to YOU, regardless of whether there are people dying, becoming homeless, whatever.

My mum has the annoying habit of trying to 'console' me when I have a problem by saying its could be worse you could be........' grrrrrrrrr 😡😡 this post is just like that!

Just look on the bright side, good bonding time for both your babies and the littlest one will never know the early months were spent any differently 👍😁

Yeah, you should have listened to your mum instead of getting pissed off at her. Maybe she thought you were a bit self absorbed, and needed a reality check sometimes.

Well I feel sorry for you. A much younger colleague has just had a baby and it's so sad that all the visits and days out and time that she should be enjoying is spoiled by all this worry. Yes other people will have great concerns but it shouldn't stop them showing a bit of compassion for you.

I was only ever gonna have one child and I loved maternity leave. Despite that when I got medical diagnosis and realised more babies were really and truly off the cards I got very upset thinking about my maternity days. I think it is totally normal how you feel. You had one lovely experience that you were looking forward to and the next baby is coming into a much scarier environment and world. I really don't understand the responses. She's a new mum. She wanted to go into the cocoon with her baby to keep him safe and instead the world has gone mad. She won't get this time back, it's not like she can just make him a baby again.

Yanbu.

I see your point. You can have expectations and then reality is different. We can only take each day as corona virus just effects everything

YABU.

Right OP it’s ok to feel like you’ve been robbed but it is so so SO minor.

You’ve got a healthy family, please focus on that. Even before this shit there are people out there who could really, say they were robbed. Premature and sick babies for example - imagine spending all your may leave in an NICU

Give yourself a kick up the ass and accept it. Focus on what you have. Everyone, and I mean everyone, feels robbed of the lives they should be leading right now

You can be upset about it, people can be sad about situations but still see the bigger picture. I’m sad for my year 11 son who can’t now sit the exams he’s worked his ar*e off for the last few years.

But at the same time you need to get a grip. You’re on mat leave, you don’t have to worry about trying to do a full time job at home aswell home educate kids. You haven’t lost your job.

You can be upset but ffs , many people are facing really serious problems at the moment

yup. like all those poor deprived teenagers deprived of proms

Oh well

Ignore those people being mean. You're allowed to feel sad about your own situation.

You can’t be ‘robbed’ of your maternity leave by having to look after your own child. Christ.

YANBU - of course you’re upset, this is so far from how you would have wanted your mat leave to go. I’m sorry

Hopefully you will get bonding time with both of your babies in the next few weeks, but it’s ok for you to feel sad about what you have missed out on.

Please also ignore all the horrible cows on here. Mumsnet is a bitchy environment at the best of times but it has been so much worse since CV kicked off. People seem to think that unless you’re literally dying from the virus you have no entitlement to feel anything other than pure happiness and gratitude. But life isn’t like that; you can simultaneously be be upset at what you’re missing out on and grateful that things aren’t worse than they are. You aren’t selfish, entitled or pathetic to feel sad about your own specific circumstances.

Please consider the alternative. Those of us who are still having to work in the NHS are working in a nightmare. I would give anything, anything to be at home with my children. Instead they are being pooled with local nurseries and sent to places where they know noone.

You are incredibly lucky OP.

Why are you all so horrible?
I feel similar to OP! I’m not particularly privileged. An extended family member has passed away because of covid. An immediate family member has been seriously sick with covid. I have had it. My partner and child have been sick with it. We are worried for our jobs & the new house we were trying to buy will most likely fall through due to the economic climate and I’m STILL angry that this horrible virus has ALSO stolen my precious maternity leave with my son despite all the other horrible things going on in my life!
So guess what people? You can have your feelings and they are valid! They don’t take away from other people’s experiences! You can be angry and grateful at the same time! Stop giving OP grief for feeling something very understandable! This virus is a bane of everyone’s lives to various degrees! It has hugely impacted my life more than OP and yet I still think her feelings are valid. Guess what that is? Empathy. Some of you need to wise up.