To feel a bit robbed

[codenameduchess]

While I adore both of my children I can't help but feel robbed of my maternity leave.

Eldest is in reception so will be at home from Friday, youngest is 4 months so I'm still on mat leave meaning we're lucky in that there are no childcare problems

But obviously the time I had just me and baby is now gone, he will not get any of the lovely special time I got with the eldest and by the time (god willing) schools are back and we have some normality back I will have to go back to work.

There are much bigger problems I know, I just needed to acknowledge it as this is my last baby and I'm sad that maternity leave is this.... I don't know what, it's stressful and anxiety ridden and I can't really process it all.

I want to hug my baby's tight and keep them safe forever but at the same time I'm resenting not having our lives.

OMG, this post is turning into the

The OP just wanted a wee moan, she wasn't aiming for a gold medal in the suffering olympics. We all know it is shit, we are all scared for our own reasons. That doesn't mean we aren't allowed a trembly bottom lip at the things that matter to us.

And the irony or tearing one off the OP for lacking compassion in such nasty, uncompassionate ways. Come on folks - no need to be twats, eh?

You looked after 2 children together in the xmas holidays and Feb half term so I genuinely dont understand why all this feels overwhelming now

I'm calling hairy hands. It's got to be.

I had a post deleted and I hardly said anything, what I did say in that post was meant to be lighthearted.

Let it go on record that I think the op is heroic under the circumstances.

Let it go on record that I think the op is heroic under the circumstances.

Really? Why?

You are allowed to feel the way you feel, I think it’s quite understandable really. We all have dreams and plans of what we are going to do and it’s hard when they are taken away without a choice. We are all upset that the life we knew has vanished and the new world is one we are not prepared, or planned, for.

However it may turn out for the best as your dc will spend a lot of time together from now so will develop a really close bond which hopefully will last a lifetime.

It's AIBU, so yes I think you are.

I don't think AIBU was the place to post this for support, probably would have been better in a different section, the replies where always going to be harsh here. Sometimes it feels like a competition to see who can be the nastiest.

I hope you're ok, OP. Some people get really thrown off when things change so suddenly and just takes time to adjust. You'll be fine and your baby will be fine. It's just different from what you had planned. Your baby isn't going to know, remember or resent you for not having that one on one time with you.

Oh come on people, play nice. We’re all terrified at facing a new world/world order. Regrets, we all surely have a few, especially now we’re probably about to go into lockdown.

My children are 12 and four and they struggle to understand how quickly their world has become so much more confined. Personally, I’d be really sad to be bringing a tiny baby into the current global pandemic. I really feel for new mums as there are no support groups/playgroups open and I think it must be so difficult to have no practicable support available at such a difficult time, especially if elderly and vulnerable relatives and friends are following the recommendations to socially distance and self isolate.

Yes, I feel the same. On my last month of mat leave and had everyday planned with activities and outings. I am a bit sad about it, lost money etc but making the best of it.

Today I did a mum and baby workout class on YouTube and baby laughed all the way though! I was knackered. Gonna do it again tomorrow!!

I intend to do new things with baby everyday, use YouTube for inspiration.

YANB at all U to feel a bit robbed.

Can't believe the pile on! You never said it was the worst thing ever, just a musing post that you're disappointed that your plans have been brought crashing down. I totally sympathise and would feel exactly the same, even without the mental health issues you're dealing with.

Ffs, you must be kidding! Get a bloody grip.

Didn't know anonymous Internet forums operated this way.

I didn't know you were incapable of understanding people have different opinions. Just because you cant have an actual discussion about this doesn't mean you need to resort to snarky comments.

I don't think AIBU was the place to post this for support, probably would have been better in a different section, the replies where always going to be harsh here.

Yes, that should be the take-home message here.

Admit I had a little sob that my 11 year old won’t experience any of the lovely primary leavers stuff she was so looking forward to they put on a play every year and work as a group towards it it’s a fab experience Know first world problem compared with those dying or becoming destitute but people entitled to their feelings

My wonderful dh (39), he has stage 4 terminal bowel cancer with a life expectancy of less than 12 months.

CV-19 is going to stop him having treatment (it could be riskier to have treatment at the minute). The thought that his last months could be stuck in the house going crazy, that we can't even do the simple things on his/our "fuck" it list that we made with the kids. The 3 week trip just for the 2 of us abroad to have some much needed time alone will no longer be going ahead. The memories we will be missing out on making.

It's just all gone to shit and I'm pissed off with the world right now.

Im jealous that's all you need to worry about op

loubieloo4

[flowers}

I'm so sorry @loubieloo4

People are gasping for breath and dying. All over the country. Right now.

You sound ridiculous and self absorbed.

Everything that has ever been posted on mumsnet, every parking thread or mil complaint, has been done to a background of people all around the world dying.

Everything that has ever been posted on mumsnet, every parking thread or mil complaint, has been done to a background of people all around the world dying.

True, but those threads were about unrelated issues. It's sort of like posting about how ticked off you are that you're not allowed to wash your car during a worldwide drought when people are literally dying of thirst in other countries. It's just a little tone-deaf.

Exactly, not to mention those threads have all been typed on phones and computers made by slaves, and no one seemed bothered.

By this measure every thread on here should be shut down, even if you are sick with cv, well it could be worse - you could be sick in a Syrian refugee camp, or in a concentration camp in China.

I think you'd have been better off posting on Parenting, not AIBU.

I totally understand your feelings and I think you're absolutely justified. I don't go for the mass hysteria and feeling the global pain bullshit that's dragging everyone in to misery right now. Having a baby is supposed to be a joyous experience, with the first few months being about bonding with them and meeting their needs to prepare their brains to develop in a healthy way.

The world is made up of families just trying to live their lives and their lives are made up of special moments, many of which you rightly feel your new baby will now miss out on.

Sending hugs and

By this measure every thread on here should be shut down, even if you are sick with cv, well it could be worse - you could be sick in a Syrian refugee camp, or in a concentration camp in China.

Well no, because that would be an unrelated issue. OP's post is more akin to complaining that you can't buy your favourite Syrian food anymore because the people who made it are stuck in refugee camps.