MIL gender disappointment

[yeoma95601]

So on Saturday my fiancé and I found out on my late grandfathers birthday that we are having a boy! We're both over the moon and it's made everything so much special, I feel like my son is blessed by my grandfather who was a very special man to me.

We told MIL today we are having a boy, now she's told me from the start she wanted a girl but I thought that regardless she will love the baby. Anyway when we told her, no exaggeration she threw her arms down and said "for fuck sakes I wanted a girl, I don't want a boy" she then said "can you try again so I can have a girl?" She knows I've had MC and this baby took 4 years to have as is.

I now feel like my son won't be loved and won't be special because he's just another grandson, my fiancé does have a niece and I feel like now she will be the golden child and my boy will be left out. Am I being a jerk for being upset and has anyone else been through the same?

Thanks in advance all.

She is a nasty old bitch. Don’t tell her anything else about this pregnancy. If she asks say” don’t pretend to be interested you don’t want us to have this baby” I would be furious and every time she spoke to me I would say fuck off.

As a dm to 5 boys and a gm to 2 boys.She sounds off her nut.

A baby is a blessing and remind her she wont be part of it unless she zips her mouth up.

Your MIL is a dick. You have to throw much strop now.

DH has to really feel in his bones the importance of not letting his mum have a go at you or the baby: he will never hear the end of it. If he has to choose between mollifying his mum and mollifying you, he chooses you. Happy wife, happy life.

MIL has to know that you are "sensitive" and that you "can't take a joke" and that she has to be "ever so careful about what she says" because "you know what yeoma is like"

Kick off.

Insensitive witch just got herself out of any involvement! I'd tell her to do one!

Spiteful bat. Thing is, she can't take that back can she. Nobody would think to make such a shitty statement when they are told wonderful news if they are pleased, they are usually just overwhelmingly happy and joyous. I think I'd text back something like, 'hmm, strange joke. My parents are thrilled though so at least he'll have one granny who loves him'. (I've made an assumption about your parents there, OP, please forgive me if I've been insensitive).

I have two boys. Just found out I'm having a third . It's a girl. MIL is over joyed! Already bought outfits and couldn't have really given a shit about the boys, especially the middle one; who is just the sweetness boy in every way. Idiot.

'MIL I'm not being funny, you can want a girl all you want but medical science hasn't reached that stage for you and you're definitely too old to adopt. Maybe get a cat?'

So sorry OP. What a nasty and dreadful reaction esp since she knows this is a much wanted baby for you although totally appalling under any circumstances.
It does seem like some grandparents try to live out their unfulfilled parenting experiences with their grandchildren.
In your place I would distance myself from her and make it clear to your husband that you will not tolerate her behaviour or his support of it in the future.
Congratulations and hope rest of your pregnancy goes smoothly

What has your fiancé said about his nasty mother?

The sex of your baby is nothing to do with your MIL. She sounds horrendous OP! Tell her to do one.

'You wanted a girl? How lucky that our little boy isn't your baby anyway then, isn't it?'

And tell your partner that you really, really do NOT want to hear him defending her one bit. He can save his calming words for his mother when he tells her she'll be last on the list for visiting and will in no sense ever get to see this baby - or any other future baby of yours, boy or girl - as 'hers'. Because she'll be kept firmly at arms' length.

Stupid woman.

Mil: “it was a joke”
Op: “Can’t be, jokes are funny..”

How incredibly unpleasant. The ‘joke’ excuse doesn’t work, because it’s still incredibly unpleasant if said in jest.

Don’t let your DH minimise it, either.it was vile.

Tough Shit MIL, you get what you’re given.
How awful for you to hear this, I would struggle to ever get past what she’s said to you tbh.

Stop letting your DH minimise thus bullshit.. she was fucking vile and he knows it.. but her off..

Well blame your dh,its his fault.His sperm determine the sex.

When I was pregnant with our first son we had a sexing scan at 16 weeks and MIL came with us. When we were told it was a boy me and DH were absolutely delighted but MIL made no effort to hide her disappointment - it was written all over her face and she even made a few comments about how displeased she was.

Well isn't she a peach? I'd be furious with fiance in this situation, he should be standing up for you and your child.

But surely she knew it was 50/50, if she knew she’d be that upset about it she should have prepared herself.

I’m not sure I could forgive that reaction in a hurry and I wouldn’t blame you if you kept your distance from her for a while, you don’t need that kind of negativity during what is an exciting time for you.

@yeoma95601 WOW, what a massive weirdo!

How nasty and rude.

I would be over the moon to have a grandchild. Wouldn't CARE what the gender was!

@yeoma95601

he's basically saying "she didn't mean it" but regardless I just think it's not something one should even think never mind to actually say it. He's told her she's upset me and she's not apologised but messaged me to say she was "joking"

Oh she meant it all right.

Agree with previous posters, your other half should be laying into her for this. Awful behaviour for her to display. And even worse for him to defend.

It's also a good point that a pp made that the baby being a boy is because of HER son, and HIS sperm.

This is awful.
For one, I'd have to somehow mention about how it's not her baby anyway and you can't just 'order' the sex she wants.
Two, I suppose it saves her spending every minute trying to be the overwhelming grandparent it sounds like she would've been.
Three, kindly tell her to blame her own son for the 'unfortunate' sex he has made his child into.

I wanted a girl, I don't want a boy"

MIL, you're not having either, I am having a boy, it has nothing to do with you. Learn genetics and see where the gender comes from!

I wouldn't want someone like that around my child anyway.

text back and call her a cunt, and then text again saying "jks"

text back and call her a cunt, and then text again saying "jks"

Oh I second this... with bloomin bells on