Aibu? Abroad holidays for me and DH, domestic holidays for kids

[MugofHotToddy]

My friend and I were discussing holidays and it came about that me and DH usually go abroad a couple of times a year.

We don't really do the 2 week beach holiday thing and like to go different places, city breaks etc...

When it comes to holidays with the children we just go in the UK.

To us, we don't want to spend £££ going to some family resort in the school holidays or to Disneyland etc... nothing wrong with that of course but we just don't want to do that. Kids seem happy enough with UK holidays and it means me and DH have the £ spare to go on the smaller breaks we like throughout the year.

Friend thinks we're awful for never taking the children abroad when we go without them and should do without our smaller breaks so we can take the kids on a big abroad holiday once a year.

Are we unreasonable? We'd never not take the kids anywhere, but we don't really see why that has to be outside of the country. Not at the moment anyway (both under ten).

They have been abroad before when we went on a family holiday with my parents a few years ago and we likely will again at some point but we don't see why this has to be an annual thing.

I guess my opinion would change as they get older but my kids now don't want abroad holidays. They like short journeys, the seaside, relative familiarity, meeting other children. I wanted a trip to Disneyland Paris for a big birthday this year, but realised they'd much rather have a week at a UK seaside town and trips to a theme park. I haven't gone away without them but I might.

YANBU. Never had holidays abroad when growing up in the 60s/70s and I don’t think it did me any harm. Have loads of happy memories of our UK holidays. My dad had had enough of “abroad” during the war and just wanted to stay home.

If the kids were bothered I'd maybe consider changing our stance but like you little, our kids seem perfectly happy with their UK breaks. They have a fab time and look forward to them a lot. They've never asked about going anywhere else.

Me and DH have always liked going to different places, cities, outside of the major touristy areas etc.. we never go for more than a week and most of the time it's less than that if it's closer by. But it's just something we enjoy and that we know the kids would hate!

We don't go away often without dc maybe once a year & not always abroad. However I cannot be bothered with the faff of flying with them & the expense. To them Tenby is no different to (insert exotic beach). We are lucky to be able to use my parents summer house in southern France but I didn't even bother with that last yr. My parents are immigrants so I've actually not seen much of the UK so I quite like discovering it now.

My mum used to do this when we were kids, she'd go off to European cities with a friend for a week to do cultural stuff and then take us to a youth hostel or caravan in the UK for a week in the summer. We loved it! Our holidays were about doing fun stuff and her holidays were lovely and cultural, without the stress of dragging moaning kids round Italian art galleries. She's a single parent so I imagine she relished getting away from us little shits for a couple of weeks a year too

Once I got old enough to actually appreciate it and want to see these places (took til I was about 20) I started going with her and we've had some great trips abroad together as adults. Don't feel like I remotely missed out on anything as a child.

my childhood was quite similar Nerd and I too don't feel I missed out.

Be interested to hear from some of the YABU voters?

I'm a single parent and we do a mix of both. I take my kids for a holiday abroad every year for a week and we look forward to it a lot. It's time for just me and them and no outside pressures. I have also had weekend breaks with friends without the kids, and UK holidays by the seaside. Big expensive trips like Disney aren't for e though. We prefer quieter locations.

It's time for just me and them and no outside pressures

Absolutely but I just don't see why that has to be abroad personally.

I’ve not voted, but my kids would moan like hell if I did this. They would definitely feel it was unfair that they were missing out on the ‘better’ holiday abroad.
How old are your kids OP? Maybe it’s an age thing, as mine are older?

We do take our kids abroad, but we like to share the experience with them. Having said that what they like the most is being with us, a bit of sun, a pool, and a park - they don't really care if that's in Bognor or Morocco! And the things they remember from abroad holidays from when they were little are rarely to do with the place, it's usually the holiday where they had lemon fanta, or the holiday where the cartoons were in spanish, or the holiday where they fell in love with the hotel cat.

Cheerbear, I guess I just don't think our holidays are 'better'. Not to a child anyway. I know my kids would hate being dragged around some old town in Austria for example just like me and DH would hate sitting on a sun lounger for two weeks in Majorca.

We do a lot of fun things on our breaks with the kids here in the UK and so far they've never had an issue.

As I say, maybe my opinion would change if they felt differently, as they may do as they get older.

It’s up to you and what works for your family but I actually really like going on holidays with my dc, either here or abroad
I’m not an attachment parenting baby wearing Earth mother type who co. Slept until they were 10 and I do value my time without them but we have so much fun all together on holiday that I will really miss it when they are old enough to decide not to come

How old are your DC though, Mugo?

It definitely depends on the types of holidays, I might have been a bit put out at 14 if mum had been going on a beach holiday to Mexico for 2 weeks and we'd got a week in a caravan in Tenby, but as it was I much preferred our holidays to the idea of traipsing round Rome looking at derelict buildings and boring old art.

I am very slightly less of a philistine these days!

My parets holidays yearly, at least abroad without me. We did a basic week on a farm / in a caravan in the UK as a family.

And yes, I am pissed off about this!! I can't imagine not wanting to share holidays with my kids! Would I love to do on amazing adventurous holidays we had pre-kids. Hell, yes. But that time will come again. My kids adore the beach, and swimming and sports.. so for now, we do things that make us all happy enough.

I enjoy going on holiday with the kids, I just don't see why it has to be an expensive abroad one. We all have a lovely time here and me and DH get to go on the 'boring' long weekends at other times in the year. We certainly aren't going for 2 weeks in Mexico these are all things we're fairly confident the kids would not enjoy.

Kids are 8 & 5.

I always take DS on holiday with me, never been away without him. Whether that be a European City break or beach holiday (have yet to holiday in the UK with him).

I think the experience of travel is wonderful for children. DS loves flying. Could you not start taking your children on one of your holidays abroad? It may lead to resentment from them as adults.

I was mostly happy with our UK holidays - except the trips that would have been rubbish whatever the country because of weather/boring activities!

In fact, our one European holiday was rubbish for my sister and I at 14 and 17, as we were dragged around interrailing in a very haphazard, uncool fashion. It managed to be boring, tiring and grubby all in one.

My mum berates me for travelling to places I've 'been to before' now I'm an adult - I'm much happier to explore with friends and my husband now!

I think at 5 it probably makes not much difference, but by 8, it is good for them to experience other cultures if at all possible. I don’t mean going to Disney or on two-week package holidays particularly. You could just go on the train somewhere like Brugge or Amsterdam for a long weekend and show them whatever you think might appeal, eg the chocolates or the waffles Or go camping in France and teach them a few phrases? Go either independently or on one of those campsites because they will meet lots of children who don’t speak English, etc. They do remember these experiences, for sure, and going on a plane or ferry is very exciting for children.

I don't really see why it needs to lead to resentment as an adult. I'd hope an adult would be mature enough to understand that their parents had lives also. I certainly don't resent my parents for doing things they enjoyed without me as a kid.

We've always taken the DC on city breaks as well as 'proper' holidays. It's worked out well and they enjoy travelling. Most places you can go to for a city break are very inclusive of DC (more so than the UK) and I've always wanted them to see the world with us.

Maybe we just have very moany kids then as they are never interested in our breaks, they are boring apparently

It won’t necessarily lead to resentment, but it may. I certainly wouldn’t think an adult was unreasonable or immature if they had an issue with their parents only taking them on UK holidays whilst the parents enjoyed numerous trips out of the country every year.

Sure, parents are free to enjoy themselves without their children, but I think it is naive to think that excluding them from every trip abroad would come without its issues down the line.

I wouldn’t go on fancy breaks and leave my boys at home. We do a mixture of holidays and do try to get one alone too. Life is all about experiences and I want my dc to see the world.

Dh and I have done all the holidays that we wanted to do before DC. We travelled alot and saw and did what we wanted. Now that dc is here both of us cant even imagine going without ds. Everyone is different though.