To think most women wouldn't want to go back to their 20s and date men of today

[penelopepitstopsgain]

Now I don't look at the past with rose tinted glasses as I'm sure sexual deviants have existed since time began, however having read this story today of grime artist, solo 45, being convicted of horrific sexual assaults on multiple partners which included waterboarding, threatening with guns and beating for sexual gratification it struck me how, in a relatively short period of time, sexual boundaries have been pushed to breaking point for many women with practices such as strangulation and slapping seen by many as vanilla sex.

I would never want to go back to my 20s and face dating todays' porn inspired men and feel very sad for young women having to navigate this.
If you would love to go back to your 20s and date = YABU
If you would rather stick pins in your eyes= YANBU

I cant vote

Got it

As someone who's only just out of her 20s, I can assure you that the men I've dated have all been perfectly normal.

No. All so entitled. Sweetshop mentality. Awful.

YANBU

I couldn't be bothered with having to shave off my bush.

I'd rather stick pins in my eyes. If dp and I break up I'd sooner die than date another man. I agree with you entirely OP. I have a son and a daughter and I feel sick for both of them growing up in the mess we've made of society.

@Duckingell noone ever told me that was compulsory. How odd.

I’m mid twenties. I’ve never dated someone my age. If I found myself single again quite frankly I wouldn’t have sex with someone under 35 unless I knew them very well (I see nothing wrong with starting things how you intend to continue them but after the stories I’ve heard that age group is a huge risk factor for sexual assault which is ironic given how hard they’ve pushed the whole consent thing on people of my generation, you wonder whether the push to get verbal consent makes men feel like they don’t have a responsibility to ensure that their sexual partners are enthusiastic participants by looking for cues of happiness/enjoyment etc. Girl crying her eyes out? No problem as long as she said yes to it.)

I dated women thank god, and they e not changed much since my 20s. If anything it’s a bit easier now due to less homophobia.
And everyone seems to still keep their pubes!

It's not just sex. In my opinion feminist reached it's peak in the early 1990s and men were feminists too, even if they didn't use that label. I am very grateful that was when I was dating

In my 20s and pretty sure porn has been around for longer than a few years, think about the curtained off section in video stores in the 80s..... Yes it's more accessible now but men still had it and compared women etc. If anything I'd say theres a rise in casual relationships and "throw away" culture is higher, however there's also a huge recent movement in attitudes towards women and more respect demanded. Even the men my age I know who are "players" still have a level of respect for women.

And I would also argue that women my age are under pressure from the expectations of body image, not from male expectation of it.

I think my sons and their friends are much nicer than the young men I met as a teenager. They see women as people and friends in a way that wasn't so common three decades ago, I dont think.

I suppose I don't know if they're all sexual deviants but they have had a lot of instruction re consent and porn is not real life, at school even if parents aren't doing it.

The boy sitting behind me in what would now be yr10 French used to put pages of porn mags in my bag c.1984.

I think my son, my future son in law and daughters boyfriend are all lovely and will make fantastic husbands in due course. Most of their male friends are also lovely young men.

Well I'm male
And god forbid I should find myself single anytime soon. But if it happened...I'd stay single. Life's a lot less complicated when you are single....that is, if you can afford to be single.
I just couldn't be bothered trying to make a effort, trying to impress. My days of strutting around like a bloody peacock have long since gone...thank god!!

@sirmione16 I think it’s more about the content. 10 years ago anal and chocking were a bit niche. Today they’re amongst the most accessed categories of porn sites.

@CherryPavlova it’s impossible to tell what a man will be like until you get into bed with him these days. It’s not uncommon for a perfectly gentlemanly young man to announce to his one night stand that he’d like anal.

@Reginabambina when you say it's not uncommon for a man on a one night stand to ask for anal, what data do you have on that?

Can't say I've ever encountered a single example of these porn-crazed, deviant, sexually violent men that Mumsnet insists are the norm nowadays.

Perhaps I've just been lucky. Or unlucky, depending on your preference.

I’m not far out of my 20s and have fond memories of nice guys for the most part.

Some people are just cunts 🤷🏻‍♀️ Not nice cunt people have always been around no matter when you were dating.

Some people aren’t nice. That’s a fact...

I think woman just talk more openly about horrible men now so you hear about it more

Rose tinted glasses being worn here perhaps OP??

God no YANBU! Thanks to app dating men think they can be lewd and aggressive to women, everyone’s lost the art of conversation. I’d rather stay single together if me and DH split up.

Ok a couple of things ... @Reginabambina I completely agree .. when I was single I dated a few seemingly shy 25 year olds (call it my exploratory phase) and I was horrified at how many would introduce choking and anal into the conversation like it was perfectly normal -suffice to say we parted without anything physical happening.

I also note that lesbianism is the fastest growing LGB sector and wonder whether young women are simply opting out of this bs that has become the norm?

This is the scum's own testimony - the entitlement and lack of shame knows no bounds - truly horrific

"In the witness box Anokye freely said he liked to slap, choke, bite and grab women by the hair. He admitted that he would sometimes throw women around and tie them up with rope or handcuff them and verbally abuse them during sex. Anokye said the women would be left sometimes with bruises, “raised skin”, sore throats or carpet burns.

He also told the jury he liked to interrogate the women about their previous partners and, from his late teens, had habitually filmed sexual encounters and watched the videos back.

Anokye insisted that the women had consented. “I don’t think women I was involved in would look at me and think: ‘He’s going to make slow, sensual, candlelit love to me.’ They knew the sex I was into. I would tell them it would sometimes involved terrorising."

@penelopepitstopsgain "I also note that lesbianism is the fastest growing LGB sector and wonder whether young women are simply opting out of this bs that has become the norm?"

Are you suggesting straight women are just waking up one day and deciding to be lesbian to avoid men? Forgive me but that sounds like a bit of a reach.

Sexuality isn't optional...