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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

He's changed his mind after agreeing. Aibu?

377 replies

Mouseandmoose · 10/03/2020 17:09

This might be long as I don't want to drip feed.
Me and DH have two DC, ages 2 &1. Neither in nursery.
We plan on putting our eldest in nursery when he's 3 (end of may).
Same with DD, put her in nursery at age of 3.

Dh works away 4 days a week and is back 4 days. He earns good money, enough to pay all bills and have plenty of spending money by the end of the month.

I don't work, we decided I wouldn't from the offset, we've talked about it MULTIPLE times about how I don't need to really work and how we don't want to put them in nursery young as they're only small once.
We always said I'd go to work when we're finished having children and they're all in primary school.
He always talks about how he takes pride in how he can look after us all.

He works a really skilled job and me on the other hand only studied a year in college for a job I'd have no real chance of getting a job in. ( Fell pregnant as I got into uni and decided not to go through with uni)
We receive no benefits either as he's a high earner.

I never ask for money unless it for the kids, he buys me the odd things without me asking like trainers or gives me the odd £10 for makeup as he knows I'm uncomfortable spending his money, to give you an idea, I only own 2 bras because I don't like asking for money.

Today he was like "I think you should find a job"... I wouldn't even earn enough to cover any child care? I know i get 30 hours free when my eldest is 3 but there's still my youngest? Even at part time it still wouldn't make much sense.

Aibu?

OP posts:
makingmammaries · 14/03/2020 20:38

Let me get this straight. You are supposed to take 100% responsibility for childcare AND do the housework AND feed this manchild AND work? Then it’s obvious which of those duties you can do without. You don’t have any use for him if he is dumping all that on you. Is there anywhere you can go? Parents?

Gd1988 · 19/05/2020 04:38

Sounds like he don’t actually want another kid and he’s not 100% invested now he wants you to get back to work ASAP so he don’t have to contribute as much. I know I sound blunt but just being truthful and sometimes it’s needed to hear the truth. Does he work away? Do you think there maybe someone else he’s swing when he’s away sorry it’s harsh but I’d be thinking the same if my oh was like this tbh. I think the bad of every situation I’m afraid x

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