My friend has gone mad right?

[CathyTre]

A friend of mine has recently got engaged. She is VERY excited. All good, this is lovely. She has a very large solitaire ring which is beautiful. She was showing me today over coffee and I oohed and aahed with appropriate gushiness.

She then said “I know, it’s SO lovely! I wouldn’t like rings like yours. Your wedding ring is so overshadowed by your engagement ring and your wedding ring would be so much better if it was a bit wider as it just looks like you’re engaged. I’m so lucky that I got to go and choose my engagement ring because I really wanted something to my taste and I’d have had to pretend a bit if I got yours”

She’s mental to voice this, to care and to give any thought to my rings, right? 😂

I’ll post a picture of my very ordinary and not worthy of remark rings (I love them, I just say ordinary as think they’re pretty normal and not remark worthy as I know whenever I read a post where someone describes things I’m nosy about what it looks like. Also not offended by anyone else’s opinion on my rings if they can even be bothered to have one!).

She is being mad. YANBU. Never mind Bridezilla, she is already being
'GagedZilla

Your friend was very rude, don't be her bridesmaid, she will be the bride from hell.

I've been married almost 20 years, back then everyone I knew had a blingy engagement ring and a plain wedding band.

Her ring is massive and beautiful - it really is lovely. I’m not boasting! It’s loads bigger than mine. I just don’t care about it THAT much. Like today was about cooing over it because it’s new, you know, but I can’t imagine giving it much thought after today. Until she said mine were a bit shit in not so many words 😂

Jewellery is a very personal thing. I think your rings look lovely, very my taste.

Waiting for husband to come back from work so I can tell him I need an upgrade 😂

She's been really rude! Good luck with the bridesmaid stuff, hope this phase passes and she's not all bridezilla about it.

Disparaging your rings, sheesh. Who even thinks it, never mind blurts it out?

How rude; also a jeweller told me that the engagement ring is the main “showcase” piece which is probably a good description of mine compared to my wedding ring

In all seriousness, I don’t know how to tag people, but yes, my ring is very much to my taste and it seems lots of other people and very different to my husband’s first wife’s ring as we are different people. He knows that. He chose the ring for the person he was marrying at the time!

Ouch. She’s perfectly entitled to think that but 100% wrong of course to say it out loud. I love your rings combo (probably because it’s nearly the same as mine 😊)

Yours looks the same as mine, apart from mine being pink. I can't wait until your friend's wedding as I've no doubt you'll be back here with escalating wedding madness.

She is not unreasonable to look at yours and decide it’s not what she wants for herself, but it’s bloody rude to tell you what is “wrong” with yours. Why do people have to do this?!

THIS ^

Engagement rings are very personal - it's a matter of taste (and obviously, of available finances). A girl I worked with was very upset because another colleague had told her that her engagement ring looked cheap (it was an emerald with a diamond either side). Her ring was't to my personal taste, but it was very pretty - and very unusual, which was what I told her. TBH, I think the there woman was as jealous as hell!

My own engagement ring isn't to everyone's rates - it's 3 amethysts - but I love it. I've been told it doesn't look like an engagement ring and I suppose that strictly speaking, it doesn't - however I think it's lovely, and as an engagement ring is just a ring which is indicative of a promise to marry, as far as I'm concerned, it can be anything you like. And I also have a narrow wedding ring. However, it's stood main good stead for 40 years, so it's served its purpose.

Your rings look beautiful OP - and is that white gold? Gorgeous!

if she ever again says anything thoughtless like I wouldn’t like rings like yours* tell her it's good that she hasn't got them, then! And that you wouldn't like her rings, because while they're lovely, they aren't to your taste and you just love your own. (You could go the whole hog and say they look flashy and not in a good way, but personally I wouldn't be spiteful about someone else's engagement ring.)

*Benefit of the doubt.

I always thought the engagement ring was meant to overshadow the wedding ring? My engagement is super sparkly and I love it, my wedding ring is a plain band.

Your friend sounds a bit ditsy and overexcited and totally unaware that her comments could be hurtful.

I do hope she doesn't go for peach frills for your bridesmaid dress btw.

*tastes, not rates

(I do proofread, but they don't seem to show up . . . .)

If she's nice, I bet she wakes up in the night with an 'OMG' at how rude she was!

Your rings are lovely and you've got lovely hands too (non creepy).

WOW. She’s unbelievably rude and sounds horrible.
I think your rings are lovely and perfectly in balance.

Jeez she was rude

I’m not hurt, I really like my rings when they ever come into my consciousness 😂 mostly they’re really good fiddle things for my hands 😂 My four year old would agree with her though, he loves a bit of sparkle.

I almost hope she goes batshit bridezilla now so I can show you my hideous dress 😂

Oh dear this reminds me of the time my friend got engaged just after me and said to me ‘at least mine looks like an engagement ring’ which was obviously a dig at mine. I decided she was jealous!

I woulda said 'yeah but at least I dont have a big nose/horrible knees/a stupid voice etc like you' :)

She was incredibly insensitive and rude.

But from her perspective, it sounds like she'd forgotten who she was talking to and was still in ring-critiquing mode. I would definitely call her out on it and if she's a decent friend she will see the error and apologise.

If she doesn't, I wouldn't be her bridesmaid as it's only going to get worse from here!

Some people are very into engagement rings. They appear to have taken an A-level in them by the age of 25 and always have to chose their own.

Is she a bit posh/a lawyer, by any chance?

I mean you seem to find it really funny, I personally wouldn’t. What a bitch, sorry. Your rings are lovely anyway.

I do think it’s a bit funny. Is that wrong? I don’t feel hurt or anything.

She’s not a lawyer but is a successful person in her career.

Your rings are lovely.
I think this is the start of a bridezilla in the making.... Get ready for the comparisons of how amazing her wedding choices will be