My friend has gone mad right?

[CathyTre]

A friend of mine has recently got engaged. She is VERY excited. All good, this is lovely. She has a very large solitaire ring which is beautiful. She was showing me today over coffee and I oohed and aahed with appropriate gushiness.

She then said “I know, it’s SO lovely! I wouldn’t like rings like yours. Your wedding ring is so overshadowed by your engagement ring and your wedding ring would be so much better if it was a bit wider as it just looks like you’re engaged. I’m so lucky that I got to go and choose my engagement ring because I really wanted something to my taste and I’d have had to pretend a bit if I got yours”

She’s mental to voice this, to care and to give any thought to my rings, right? 😂

I’ll post a picture of my very ordinary and not worthy of remark rings (I love them, I just say ordinary as think they’re pretty normal and not remark worthy as I know whenever I read a post where someone describes things I’m nosy about what it looks like. Also not offended by anyone else’s opinion on my rings if they can even be bothered to have one!).

No. Just that some ASC people say how they feel / describe what they see. There is no intention to hurt feelings.

and you needed to share that here, why ?
Your "friend" is rude, you're nuts for listening, and accepting the role of bridesmaid to this fruit cake. ?

Very disappointed with this thread. So far I'm on page 5 and there is not enough ring candy for my liking.

At least need to see a pic of the hideous ruby ring OP!

@bpirockin It's up the thread!

@Amitskitshaw, I only asked because it's a mumsnet trope that every example of rudeness is qualified by posters suggesting autism. As this is a longterm friend of the OP, I assume she would know if there were underlying issues like that.

Ok @CathyTre
I dug out my lovely rings...I have no idea what kind of stones they are except the tigers eye...remember when those were popular in the 70 's...
I don't like the way any of them look on my 'man's hands🤣
(And yes, I know I need to pulls those weeds...I'm getting around to it)

Forgot to attach the photos

She’s incredibly rude. Your rings are lovely.

OP nooooo 🤦🏻‍♀️ I can’t believe someone would be so tone deaf! I love your trilogy ring, especially the sapphires. I bet she knows hers is cubic zirconia and is trying to make herself feel better haha 😆

I got a few “so dainty” comments about my ring but I couldn’t give a shit because I picked it myself. I could have got a massive ring from a cheaper place but chose not to 🤷🏻‍♀️ People are weird. I imagine this will be the first of many comments you’ll have to steel yourself towards.

I’ve got a friend like this. No filter. She has ADHD - and IMO Aspergers or something whereby she simply says what she thinks and has little idea of what is/isn’t acceptable to say. No tact at all.

Loving all these posts! Made me look at my own 52 year old rings , still my most treasured possessions - only cost £32 from the jewellery quarter ! @CathyTre

@CathyTre i would think your picture was of my rings if it were not for the fact that your hand looks in much better condition (younger!) than mine!We looked at different wedding rings after we got engaged and chose together as we had chosen the engagement ring together. My DH was encouraging me to look at all different types but i wanted something small and delicate and it cost around £100 in a very expensive shop - the bigger ones just didn;t work as well with the engagement ring.
DH bought me another ring ten years later which is a bit bigger than my engagement ring - and sometimes i wear it INSTEAD of my engagement one! By the looks of what people on this thread have been told that may really upset some people.

I love the ruby spot ring 😬 I'm a big fan of massive garish jewellery though lol

Has your husband seen sense and bought you a replacement set of rings yet OP? I think you need to ask her for a picture of her rings to give him whilst he shops so he can be sure he gets it right this time! As long as they're better than hers it should be fine lol

My husband chose my engagement ring and put a lot of thought into it and did a massive amount of research about diamonds. It wouldn't have been what I would have chosen but it is my most valued piece of jewellery. I thought I'd lost it once (I took it off and put it somewhere safe whilst I was pregnant with my 2nd child) I put it somewhere so safe I couldn't find it again (along with my eternity ring and wedding ring) I cried for days but it was only my engagement ring that I was most upset about. Its an incredibly special piece of jewellery to me. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You should never judge someone else's jewellery. I probably would have said something but forgive and forget. Your rings are beautiful by the way

Please take advice and don't be a bridesmaid, especially if she was that bloody rude, just say you are away, as believe me, if she can be that rude about your rings, which are lovely btw, and an engagement ring is everyone's personal choice, but if she can be that rude things are going to get a whole lot worse before the wedding, she will want hers to be the biggest and best and so much better than everyone else's. Anyway, it is only one day, it is the rest of the marriage that is important. Sermon over 😊

She sounds like a stuck up unfiltered massive B!!

Her wedding will almost definitely be posher. We went to Gretna 😂 Nice party when we came back. I do hope I can have a really terrible bridesmaid dress 😂

I do hope I can have a really terrible bridesmaid dress

I hope you do, too. It's traditional for b/m's dresses to look garish and ill-suited to the wearer. It will break my heart if she exercises her good taste so that you all look lovely. :(

Your rings are really pretty. Baffling that she made the comment, but some people just seem to have a need to try and show off. Or she’s jealous of you for other reasons and thought she could be superior in her ring?! Though as you said, who cares what engagement ring someone else has.

She sounds lovely...

She has no tact whatsoever, is that normal or do you think she is doing it deliberately?

People like different designs, colours, etc

A friend wouldn't put down your rings to promote her own!

BTW You can fully see your wedding ring, it does not look like 'just' an engagement ring on your finger!

She is a bitch!

@Amitskitshaw

“Some ASC people”??

Some autistic spectrum condition people?

Makes no sense, as does your ill educated armchair diagnosis of autism.

The ignorance of autism on MN is beyond ridiculous.

I think your rings are beautiful. I think she is really rude and nasty.

How rude.

Your rings are beautiful. I would love them!

I have a cluster ring and once an ex said to me, well he can't think much of you if that's your ring! We chose it together!! I wanted anything but a solitaire.

My ex was rude and so was your "friend"!

brightblue That's disgusting - how very rude and hurtful!