My friend has gone mad right?

[CathyTre]

A friend of mine has recently got engaged. She is VERY excited. All good, this is lovely. She has a very large solitaire ring which is beautiful. She was showing me today over coffee and I oohed and aahed with appropriate gushiness.

She then said “I know, it’s SO lovely! I wouldn’t like rings like yours. Your wedding ring is so overshadowed by your engagement ring and your wedding ring would be so much better if it was a bit wider as it just looks like you’re engaged. I’m so lucky that I got to go and choose my engagement ring because I really wanted something to my taste and I’d have had to pretend a bit if I got yours”

She’s mental to voice this, to care and to give any thought to my rings, right? 😂

I’ll post a picture of my very ordinary and not worthy of remark rings (I love them, I just say ordinary as think they’re pretty normal and not remark worthy as I know whenever I read a post where someone describes things I’m nosy about what it looks like. Also not offended by anyone else’s opinion on my rings if they can even be bothered to have one!).

I have an autistic friend who lets things like this slip when she's excited. To her it's just the truth about how she feels. Normally she would filter it as she's had a lot of help re. social interactions. It's a minefield for her.

I try not to take offence and remind myself that most people are thinking along those lines, they just don't say it out loud!

And apparently, I can’t think of any other descriptive words.

@CathyTre your friends a k*

When I first read this I thought you were saying that you had told your friend what was wrong with her rings. I was absolutely ready for the AIBU onslaught so when I started reading the comments I thought I had dropped into a parallel universe. 😂

Your rings are lovely. Your friend is rude. YANBU.

@Enough4me If I was really bad I would tell her my kids are better looking than hers 😂 they're not, but I would love to see her face.

It’s just plain rude of her to comment! Everyone’s rings are personal to them, hopefully sentimental and suit them too! I have sisters and we all have beautiful engagement rings but I doubt we would ever swap as all individual and suit each person. My DH picked and chose mine himself which was a miracle in itself! It’s what I would have chosen.

Your rings are stunning and suit your hand! She maybe has some insecurities about hers. I’m not sure I could be bridesmaid for someone so crazy

She sounds like a right control freak. I’d just laugh it off but if it continues I’d pull her up on her rude behaviour.

Replies are funny 😂 She honestly is nice this was I hope just an uncharacteristic bout of dickishness.

Might take to wearing the ruby monstrosity instead only when with her like I took her advice on board and went out and got that instead 😂

She isn't your friend if she is saying stuff like that to you. I would definitely be distancing myself from that sort of unnecessary toxic BS

That is really, really rude of her to say and very odd that she even had an opinion of your rings never mind said it. Someone I know once said "Oh I could never live somewhere like this" of my house. So rude.

That's so rude and weird it's quite funny.

People get weird over engagement rings. Perhaps because it's such a big purchase, it becomes important to them to have the "best" one (however best is defined) and therefore anyone else's choice must be "wrong". A friend told everyone that her fiancé had proposed using a ring that belonged to his grandmother then turned up with an enormous single diamond set in platinum. Her sister then got really funny and went on about how her husband had gone to the trouble of buying a ring himself, he hadn't just found it in a drawer.

This happens with other things though. Choose a different school or area to lots of other people around you? Prepare to get a load of comments.

I love your rings. I have ring envy.

I just noticed though that 2 percent of people think I’m unreasonable 🙂

Haha don’t take to heart the 2%. They were put on this planet to be contrary 😉

Corr how rude lol it's almost laughable! Ignore her OP, rings are only meant to be special to the owner anyway. If my man picked me one god knows what it would look like but I'd love it because it would be from him. Sad she doesn't seem to grasp this concept & with her competitive tone already makes you wonder if her engagement is based on love or simply going through the motions and therefore obsessing over trivial rubbish for her own ego. You seem to have your head screwed on, don't let her catty remarks rent anymore space in your head :)

What a bellend! She's your friend why?

I think she needs lessons in diplomacy.

A Freind really?, as yourself 'what has she done for you lately?'

I havent read past page 1 yet as distracted with dinner and getting dd to beavers.... but what a B!! What a completely unnecessary and cruel thing to say about your perfectly lovely rings. I expect hers is hideous, shes embarrassed about it and shes trying to make herself feel better by trying to make you feel like shit. I'm glad you seem the sort of person who won't allow someone like that to make you feel like c**p. But my God I hope you turn down any invite to the wedding, let alone one to be a bridesmaid!! I'd be backing away from this woman all together to be honest. She sounds high maintenance at best and a complete cow bag at worst - who needs people like that in their lives?!

My wedding ring was a super broad gold band - very trendy when we got married! More recently my husband bought me three vintage Cartier ellipse rings set with sapphire, ruby and emerald- because it’s only now, after 47 years of marriage we could afford anything like them.

My sister, who like your friend is an arse, saw my new to me vintage rings and turned her nose up saying, ‘yes but they’re not wedding rings are they?’

I think at our ages with three adult sons and five grandkids who cares!

I'm accidentally one of the 2% op. I was reading it and swapped my phone into the other handand accidentally hit YABU. You can take my hit out of equation. I can't believe what a dick she's made of herself saying that. You could ask her if she'd like to borrow your ruby ring for her other hand for her wedding day as her borrowed item. See what crass comment she comes out with that time. She's either completely oblivious and hasn't realised what she said or she really is heading to be the bridezilla from hell.

Yours is beautiful x Personally I think she is jealous or trying to hide that she doesn’t really like her ring because why else say that? Here is mine, its my wedding and engagement ring in one as we never got an engagement ring.

Ok, actually I do now want those ones Lincolnfield if you could just send them over to me for a try on? I’ll send them back, honest.

I do like looking at all the rings so this thread was a good idea. All beautiful 🙂

Maybe the two percent (minus Weebleonaworkout) could come on to critique them all 😂