Friend irritating about baby name

[Nottodaysatan0]

Posted a while back that one of my friends had chosen the same name as me after I had mentioned it as being my top choice.
It’s a fairly common name so I said to her that I wouldn’t mind at all if she used it too as I’m not going to be petty about a baby name I have no rights to. Her response to that was that she doesn’t want to look like she copied me and I should think of something else!

At least once a week for the last six weeks or so and every single time I see her in person she has made comments like the name goes with her other children’s names but doesn’t match my child’s name so I should really look for something else etc etc followed by screenshots of lists of baby names online. then last night she messaged me to say “have you found a new name yet?” This pissed me off to be honest as it was basically her saying “I’m using the name so find something else” so I just firmly said I’ve chosen the name I picked to begin with and that’s that, she was welcome to use it but if she didn’t want to have the same name then she should choose something else. I then changed the subject and asked for an item of makeup back that she had borrowed a few weeks ago (not to be petty but because I genuinely needed it back) and she said her husband would drop it round in a couple of days - I thought this was pretty bitchy too as usually she would say yeah pop round for a cuppa etc
I’ve been decided on this name for two months, we have been calling the baby by the name and all of our family have too. I even have a blanket with the name on it for gods sake.

This friend seems to be the type to always get what they want and seems to think I’m going to just choose another name so she can have this one even though I had said i wanted the name before her (I’m due two months before her!).

What would anyone else do? She’s just not getting the message. And to be honest I don’t think our friendship will be the same after this purely due to the way she’s behaved about it - like a child!

On second thought maybe suggest both calling your children the same names and ending the friendship? She seems nuts I’m sure it’s not a massive loss!

does she even know whats shes having yet? as mu sister is due 1st aug and will be 20 weeks on sat and her scan is mon, she did a gender scan but thats from 16 weeks so if shes been saying this for 6 weeks surely she wouldnt have even known then? as that would only be 14 weeks at the most

Thanks for all your replies everyone!
Yes I agree she’s nuts and controlling. I’m not actually bothered at all as I’m due two months before her and I know I picked the name first and she knows that too, it’s just starting to really annoy me the constant being told the name doesn’t suit my first child’s name etc and then the cheek of her asking if I’d picked a new name yet as it would be weird for me to call my baby the same name as hers! She may as well have said “I’m calling my baby that name (even though you had it first) so you need to change yours”

I think she is just one of those people used to getting what they want. Her husband looks after her very well, she doesn’t have to work etc.
And for everyone saying she sounds immature - she’s in her 30s and this is her 5th child! I’m 6 years younger than her and It’s my second baby.

@dawnc27 she said she always had a feeling it was a girl but she had a private gender scan at 16 weeks so that’s when she “confirmed” that she was calling her baby this name

I would look to end the friendship. You don’t need to have it out with her but just be slow replying to her texts and don’t initiate contact anymore. She’s clearly not someone you should want in your life.

i think the tinkly laugh is the way to go hear ....

I had something similar to this with my first although the I hardly knew the other mum at the time (antenatal classes) we were talking names and turned out she had planned to use my first choice of name and her daughters middle name.

We both laughed, congratulated each other on having excellent taste and moved on because we are both adults and no one owns a name.
4 years on we are good friends and our daughters are.best friends.

Tbf to your friend by baby number 5 shes maybe run out of names and HAS to resort to stealing them.

In all honesty I'd get rid of her as a friend, solves all issues for both of you.

Name your baby what you want and she can name hers what she wants.

I can never see the issue. If the same first name is an issue, then Tyson Fury has 3 sons called Prince Tyson! If that is ok then I don’t see why 2 kids who aren’t growing up in the same house with the same name would be a problem.

*Prince Fury I meant!

She sounds like a petulant twat.

I'd just text her back saying that this is the name you have chosen for your baby and you will be using it whether she likes it or not. Beyond that I would engage no further.

Have your lovely baby, go and register the name and announce it.

Then please film and share for all of us to see. I'd love to see her face 😂

Och - just tell her she needs to pick a name that rhymes with her name - eejit!

If you’re due first the only person who will look like they have copied is her so just keep it. It’s her own fault for wanting your name. She needs to get over herself.

I remember your original post a few months back. Even then the thing that screamed out at me was that this is NOT real friendship! It sounded draining then and even MORE so now!

So can you even imagine how it will be when your baby comes along???

I can almost write the next post on here in three + months

‘ Dear MN’s,
I listened to you all and stuck to my guns and names my NB my original chosen name .. my ‘friend’ who also wants the name and is about to drop (begrudgingly) ‘congratulated’ me today with a sly extra message ‘From pics of your newborn he doesn’t look like he suits (chosen) name! My DH also agreed’ etc etc

Op where I’m going with this is that you have two months until you meet this beautiful precious little person and your mind seems to be consumed with this nonsense and your ‘friend’ .. she IS NOT YOUR friend !

You don’t have to fall out with her.. you can keep her at arms length,, be distant .. don’t answer her messages .. go private if you’re on social media .. don’t feel like you’re being ‘petty’ because you’re not .. she sounds exhausting .. sod the make up .. just focus on yourself and relax before your little bundle arrives and KEEP the name 💓

Send her a pic of the blanket with your baby’s name on...

Stand your ground. She's not your friend, really, so Iit won't be a long term issue anyway.

Stand your ground.... Stop discussing your baby name with her... and distance yourself from this bullying entitled bitch.. 🌺

It sounds as if shes jealous of you. Get a nicer friend.

Use the name...Also use the name as the baby's middle name, too.

This is bloody genius. Wouldn’t want to see it in real life—poor child—but would love to see it on a sitcom for comedic effect and comedic fallout.

Name your baby what you want. The rest of it—who had it first, how many children there are, who likes it, what it goes with...utterly irrelevant.

As for lunch with her, if she’s a friend in other ways and there’s value in your relationship, go and enjoy. Maybe she’s in some weird pregnancy-related place (it happens) or feels #5 is the last one so is being swayed by post-traumatic PFBness (it happens).

Goodness! Unless you come up with some weird made up name or one of these celebrity weird names like Trixibelle etc., there will be lots of people with the same name! One of my sons is Daniel - there are a lot! Another son is Mark - again loads of them. My grandkids are a Grace, plenty of those around, ditto Alice, Megan and James. The one slightly more unusual is my Annalise but far from the only one!

Your friend sounds a bit bonkers to be honest.

She sounds crazy. Call your baby the name you like and so can she.

She sounds like a narcissist - keep to your choice of name

I’m sorry, but I think that this is a bit strange from both sides. It’s sad that you think you have to seek ‘permission’ to use a particular name. Call your child what you like. She can do likewise. Is it really the end of the world if they end up with the same name? They’re hardly going to be joined at the hip all their lives.

Stick to your guns. She's being ridiculous.

Keep the name. Ditch the 'friend' she sounds like she is way too much hard work!