Friend irritating about baby name

[Nottodaysatan0]

Posted a while back that one of my friends had chosen the same name as me after I had mentioned it as being my top choice.
It’s a fairly common name so I said to her that I wouldn’t mind at all if she used it too as I’m not going to be petty about a baby name I have no rights to. Her response to that was that she doesn’t want to look like she copied me and I should think of something else!

At least once a week for the last six weeks or so and every single time I see her in person she has made comments like the name goes with her other children’s names but doesn’t match my child’s name so I should really look for something else etc etc followed by screenshots of lists of baby names online. then last night she messaged me to say “have you found a new name yet?” This pissed me off to be honest as it was basically her saying “I’m using the name so find something else” so I just firmly said I’ve chosen the name I picked to begin with and that’s that, she was welcome to use it but if she didn’t want to have the same name then she should choose something else. I then changed the subject and asked for an item of makeup back that she had borrowed a few weeks ago (not to be petty but because I genuinely needed it back) and she said her husband would drop it round in a couple of days - I thought this was pretty bitchy too as usually she would say yeah pop round for a cuppa etc
I’ve been decided on this name for two months, we have been calling the baby by the name and all of our family have too. I even have a blanket with the name on it for gods sake.

This friend seems to be the type to always get what they want and seems to think I’m going to just choose another name so she can have this one even though I had said i wanted the name before her (I’m due two months before her!).

What would anyone else do? She’s just not getting the message. And to be honest I don’t think our friendship will be the same after this purely due to the way she’s behaved about it - like a child!

she doesn’t want to look like she copied me and I should think of something else!

I thought you were going to say she was due first! If you said it was your top choice first and you’re due first why does she think she gets the name and you should choose something else? She sounds like hard work.

Tel her you have decided on Ermintrude if it's a girl.
Zebedee for a boy...
Give yourself some peace before your baby arrives.
Then use your original name!!

@Nottodaysatan0
You've really got to ask yourself, how many friends do you need? Will you really miss her that much?

Thanks everyone, I’m due mid June she’s due early August.
She hasn’t messaged me today so I haven’t either but she did say before the message last night that she wanted to meet for breakfast this week, don’t think I will go ha ha.

How can a name match another? Does it just start with the same letter as her other children?

She's clearly nuts. You're due first, you chose it first, just use it. If you lose a friend, it won't matter then will it that the kids have the same name? I'd just ditch her as a friend, she isn't much of one.

I certainly wouldn't let it get to a situation where it needs multiple MN threads on it.

Tell her you aren't changing. End of discussion.

Use the name and ignore any more messages about it

You both sound like teenagers.

It makes me happy that your due first (smile)

Just you do you, name your baby what you want. cos your first so.......

@GinAndNightnurse the conversation went via WhatsApp -
Her - thought if any names ?
Me - name and some other names but leaning towards name
Her - I like that name
Me - yes it’s one of my first choices

Then a few weeks later she just announced that she’d chosen the name. I messaged back asking if she was set on it and she said “I wanted it but you said you were using it” to which I said yes. Then she said “well I chose it first” which she definitely didn’t. Sent her a screenshot of me saying the name first in our conversation and she said “well we chose it at the same time then”. Didn’t say anything else but put a laughing emoji then a week later that’s when the harrassing started.
She’s even saying ridiculous things like “well my mum likes the name too” and this woman is in her thirties! I’m a bit younger in my mid twenties but feel like she’s acting like a child.

I’m due first by nearly two months.

I think this friendship won't survive. She's too bat shit to see reason.

Seriously, this may end up being someone you don’t want to spend much time with once your children are born. If she’s like this about the name then she’s possibly also going to be a horror over which child walked / talked first, reading levels, A level choices.

I’d not dwell on it, realistically the friendship won’t last. She sounds self centred and a pain in the bum.

YANbU she is BU.

All this drama over a name? She's got a lot of growing up to do before August. Don't change the name

LTB

Well she’s got a point - everyone knows that if two children have the same name then they have to fight to the death as there can only be one!

Oh wait. No, loads of kids have the same name. Plus you’re due first so she’s just batshit. I think the friendship will only recover if in a few months she comes out of a crazy hormonal fog and apologises, otherwise I think she’s simply shown her true colours as an entitled madam.

Is she 12?

You chose the name first, your baby will be born first, you get to use the name. She will have to suck it up.

Saying that, this is why it adds a tricky dimension when you reveal things like names ahead of the birth (though you’re of course free to do as you wish), people will invariable have an opinion on it (usually negative) or they’ll pinch it.

She sounds like a spoilt brat though. Step back from her a bit, perhaps.

Maybe you could suggest you call yours "name" and she can call hers "name2020" or name "name2", kind of like with email addresses?

This 'friendship' is not going to last. She's being ridiculous. If she has anything else of yours arrange to get it back now and stop talking to other pregnant people about names. This always happens!

Bonkers. I'm in camp "don't reveal the name to anyone until the baby turns up", but I've had similar convos with close friends who know I like certain names, and the outcome is always "yeah, we may both use it if we like it that much". It's really fine. She has no right to bully you about this and bring in her mum, other kids' names, whatever else.

She sounds petty and precious.
Use the name, lose the friend. Anyone who bullies you to change your mind is no friend at all.

I would make it clear that you will only speak or see her if she does not talk about names, but chance of this friendship continuing looks low if she thinks this is acceptable behaviour.

Just stop being friends with her, problem solved.

My mother once said that she’d wanted to call me a particular name but couldn’t do it because Sue from round the corner had already called her daughter that. Who the hell was Sue from around the corner? On further questioning it was someone she’d been friendly with for a few years around the time I was born and had completely and utterly lost track of since.

The name was horrible though so I’m not too bothered

I’d just ignore any comment she makes about the name from now on - she’s being beyond ridiculous and sounds very entitled.
For all we know she could be reading this thread - if that’s the case hopefully she’ll realise that she’s lost the plot about this. It says a lot about her and the sort of people she mixes with if she thinks they will think she’s copied you.
Stick to your guns OP - it sounds trite to say it, but first come, first served. There are enough things to worry about when you are pregnant without having to worry about your friend’s demands.