Friend irritating about baby name

[Nottodaysatan0]

Posted a while back that one of my friends had chosen the same name as me after I had mentioned it as being my top choice.
It’s a fairly common name so I said to her that I wouldn’t mind at all if she used it too as I’m not going to be petty about a baby name I have no rights to. Her response to that was that she doesn’t want to look like she copied me and I should think of something else!

At least once a week for the last six weeks or so and every single time I see her in person she has made comments like the name goes with her other children’s names but doesn’t match my child’s name so I should really look for something else etc etc followed by screenshots of lists of baby names online. then last night she messaged me to say “have you found a new name yet?” This pissed me off to be honest as it was basically her saying “I’m using the name so find something else” so I just firmly said I’ve chosen the name I picked to begin with and that’s that, she was welcome to use it but if she didn’t want to have the same name then she should choose something else. I then changed the subject and asked for an item of makeup back that she had borrowed a few weeks ago (not to be petty but because I genuinely needed it back) and she said her husband would drop it round in a couple of days - I thought this was pretty bitchy too as usually she would say yeah pop round for a cuppa etc
I’ve been decided on this name for two months, we have been calling the baby by the name and all of our family have too. I even have a blanket with the name on it for gods sake.

This friend seems to be the type to always get what they want and seems to think I’m going to just choose another name so she can have this one even though I had said i wanted the name before her (I’m due two months before her!).

What would anyone else do? She’s just not getting the message. And to be honest I don’t think our friendship will be the same after this purely due to the way she’s behaved about it - like a child!

Who on Earth voted she's BU???

Your friend is a dickhead. Someone asked up thread but I was also wondering, do you two both know you're having the same sex baby?

I wonder what will happen when her little one starts to go to nursery, or school, and finds that other children have the same name? Meltdown? Not unlikely if it's a nice, popular one.
I had one memorable class with five Alexanders; we coped, nobody seemed scarred by the experience.

Tell her to go F herself! YANBU. This would piss me right off. You're due first, you had the name first. If she wants the same one, then everyone can know she copied you. Just keep being firm like you have been.

I’d message back saying

‘It’s fine if we both use the same name as they won’t be around each other anyway’ 🤷‍♀️

Use the name you like,OP. If it gets this silly woman out of your life, all the better!

what will she do if another dc has the same name in nursery, play group, Mother & Toddler group? Laugh at her & say really???

Don't tell her you've chosen something else for a quiet life - she'll just use that against you to make her seem less mad. You've done the right thing and if she says she doesn't want to look like she's copied you, simply suggest that she doesn't copy you then. You said it first, you're giving birth first, you're not being batshit territorial about it, but you're absolutely not going to be harassed into changing the name of your DC.

Is the name Brian?

This is awful op
She isn't a friend to you!!
A friend wouldn't make you feel like this
You deserve so much better.
All the best with the rest of your pregnancy call your baby what you want and enjoy 💐

Hinge in an amazing coincidence, that's my name and also my wife's

We told everyone ds was going to be Oleg. Funnily nobody wanted to copy...
Ds 5 told everyone solemnly his db was going to be Oleg!

If it's a very popular name like Isla or Oliver then she's being incredibly ridiculous. It's not like you've both come up with something unusual like Hepzibah.

I can see someone being miffed if a family member copied the name (I remember years ago a mumsnetter had a daughter named Isabella Eve, and a few months later her brother and SIL named their daughter Isabelle Eva).

I can see someone being hurt and upset if a friend or family member refused the name of their late child, as that's just insensitive.

However your friend is being a cheeky fucker. She should either use the same name 'oh yes we both loved Harry and wanted to use the name's or she should find a new name.

I know someone whose family all have the same first and middle name - the 3 children are Katie Katie, Lucy Lucy and Tommy Tommy*. Do that OP to rub it in if you're feeling pretty

*not the real names

This would really pee me off. If it looks like she copied it's because she COPIED. That's what I'd tell her, If she's not happy with that she can choose another name.

I'm of the school of not telling anyone before hand BUT in your situation OP I'd be plastering social media with personalised items with THE NAME on! I'm very juvenile on Tuesdays.

Dear friend, please stop harassing me about my name choice. I don't care what you call your baby, if it's the same as my baby that's fine with me. If however you feel strongly that our babies should have different names then you should choose something else. Please focus on something else and stop badgering me.

She’s a CF and weird to boot. One of my friends called her child the same name as mine (several years after I’d used it). I know people say you can’t own a name and that’s true however I found it bloody strange.

She’s never been very imaginative but it felt a bit creepy tbh and I’ve never felt the same about her, especially as she didn’t tell me beforehand and then didn’t even really acknowledge the fact she’d copied it it was just like “oh, baby’s here - we’ve called her Sharon (not real name)”. I was like “oh....right”

I’d just ignore her from now on. She sounds utterly nuts.

@ShesGotBetteDavisEyes see, I can’t see why you think it’s weird? It’s a name, she liked it, she used it for her own child. It’s not creepy at all

Eh, non issue. Call your baby what you like.

You could tell her some other also-ran name for now, to stop her being so fucking irritating about it - say your DP likes it better. Then when you give birth call your baby the name you like and say "it just suited them better".

Or just be absolutely blunt: I am not discussing names any more because it seems to be upsetting you.

I’d just say look first come first served

er no - you made a baby, you can name it what you like

One of my friends called her child the same name as mine (several years after I’d used it). I know people say you can’t own a name and that’s true however I found it bloody strange.

why? whats the name?

Never, ever tell anyone your baby name before the baby is born!

And as that horse is already bolted just tell her you no longer want to talk about names, and then go ahead and name your baby whatever you want.

Now is the time to start telling people she is has copied the name you picked. Wind her right up. I am a petty bitch, and I don't care!

Next time she brings it up, the only thing to you can say..

“I’m using the name for my baby. And I’m getting a puppy and calling it that name too. Oh and a kitten. Same name. In fact I might go and buy an entire circus troop just so I can them all xxxx so for gods sake let it go!”

just name your baby the name you have chosen, if your due first then she will just have to suck it up and either call her child the same or chose another name, she’s the one that’s causing an issue.

Just text her and say “sorry but I’m not changing my choice of name, I don’t care if you call your child by the same name so I don’t see the issue, please can we stop talking about this now as it’s an issue that you have not me”. If all else fails just tell her to fuck off.

NoveltyFunsy I told you, it’s Sharon.

Seriously though, it would be a complete no-no for me but I guess everyone’s different. I’d hate people to think I’d copied their name and didn’t have a mind of my own (I’m not talking about an acquaintance here - I’m talking about a very good friend). For instance my other BF called her son Oscar. I loved the name at the time and was pg too but I’d never have used it once she had. I stand by thinking it’s weird.