Friend irritating about baby name

[Nottodaysatan0]

Posted a while back that one of my friends had chosen the same name as me after I had mentioned it as being my top choice.
It’s a fairly common name so I said to her that I wouldn’t mind at all if she used it too as I’m not going to be petty about a baby name I have no rights to. Her response to that was that she doesn’t want to look like she copied me and I should think of something else!

At least once a week for the last six weeks or so and every single time I see her in person she has made comments like the name goes with her other children’s names but doesn’t match my child’s name so I should really look for something else etc etc followed by screenshots of lists of baby names online. then last night she messaged me to say “have you found a new name yet?” This pissed me off to be honest as it was basically her saying “I’m using the name so find something else” so I just firmly said I’ve chosen the name I picked to begin with and that’s that, she was welcome to use it but if she didn’t want to have the same name then she should choose something else. I then changed the subject and asked for an item of makeup back that she had borrowed a few weeks ago (not to be petty but because I genuinely needed it back) and she said her husband would drop it round in a couple of days - I thought this was pretty bitchy too as usually she would say yeah pop round for a cuppa etc
I’ve been decided on this name for two months, we have been calling the baby by the name and all of our family have too. I even have a blanket with the name on it for gods sake.

This friend seems to be the type to always get what they want and seems to think I’m going to just choose another name so she can have this one even though I had said i wanted the name before her (I’m due two months before her!).

What would anyone else do? She’s just not getting the message. And to be honest I don’t think our friendship will be the same after this purely due to the way she’s behaved about it - like a child!

[Kazziemb]

We had 6 Michaels in the family

[Sissymate2]

In the Italian culture it is common to name the first born son after the father(although it could be the grandfather, not 100% sure) . I knew a family who had 3 Franks who were cousins....to distinguish them, one was Fat Frank, next was Skinny Frank and the 3rd was 7th street Frank🤣. I always wondered what would happen it Fat Frank lost weight, If Skinny Frank got fat and if 7th Street Frank moved house

[Kazziemb]

Don't discuss it any more with her. Literally say 'let's move on - it'll come between us otherwise'...even if it already has.
You chose the name.
She's being controlling.
Stand firm.

[Twooter]

Did this is her fifth child, then she can’t be that keen on it or she’d have used it earlier ( sexes allowing)

[glennamy]

She is not a friend, tell the pregzilla to fuck right off!

Tell her she can sue you if she is unhappy and she will be told to fuck right off again at the court!

[Sceptre86]

I yanbu and she is being a bit bratty. If she is a good friend I would put it down to hormones and give her the benefit of the doubt once baby is born. If she is still batty then drop her.

I have a name I would like to keep if we have another child and it is a boy. Dh's cousin is currently having a baby and likes this particular name, I don't think I will be in turmoil if she uses it considering she is actually pregnant and I am not.

[Windyatthebeach]

Excuse me SerenDipitY but Ermintrude is my chosen name...

[MrsBadcrumble123]

Get your makeup back then become a distant once-known friend - she sounds Bat S**t crazy

[UsernameUnknownn]

Haha oh gosh she's a bit much!
Glad you're sticking to the name OP. Why should you change it when your baby is arriving first anyway.
She's such a bully

[Sickandscared]

She is a bully!

You chose the name first, you are due first, why on earth would you choose a different name. I would ignore all reference to it now.

[LovelyIssues]

My sis in law did this but with a middle name so wasn't SO bad but this really annoyed me as she knew we'd picked that name for a sentimental reason. I ended up giving my DD a different middle name and still regret it

[BelleBox19]

If it was me I'd just name my baby as the name you'd already picked, that's your babies name . She will just have to deal with it!

[Carpedimum]

I’ve never pressed the YANBU button so emphatically! Good grief! She has gone beyond unreasonable and, I’d suggest the sort of manipulative person you really don’t want to be friends with. At my DS’s primary there were a lot of kids with the same name and it was a unisex name, it was a source of confusion no doubt but also joy because of the extra monikers that developed to identify them. You must call your child what you want! Also, you don’t need this stress in pregnancy.
On another note, sharing makeup is a bad idea, loads of bacterial cross contamination.

[Theresnobslikeshowb]

You- told her the name first and was adult to say you could both use it

She- voiced that she liked the name second, and insisted you change your name

Only one person here being an adult, just let the child get on with things. No doubt she will change it as she won’t want her child named after yours- which is how it will come across. But after all no one owns a name. Good luck with the rest of your pregnant.

[strawberry2017]

I would use this as an excuse to cut ties because I can 100% guarantee this will be the lady who will spend the rest of your lives comparing your children and competing with you on who did what first despite her baby being a couple of months younger!
Just in case she becomes really petty I would keep a screen shot of the conversation where you told her the name- then if you ever need it you have proof you told her first.
I'd like to think you wouldn't need to use it but she sounds like she would stoop low.
Congratulations on your DD

[TheSerenDipitY]

next time she bitches about the damn name tell her she can use what ever name she wants but you ARE naming your baby "Ermintrude" and you have already got a ton of engraved items and monogrammed items and personalized whatnots all with the name "Ermintrude" so there is no backing out now

[JammieCodger]

When I was pregnant with my first, we had Isobel at the top of our potential list for girls. We didn’t find out the sex, though, and hadn’t told anyone our possibilities. A good friend, due about three weeks after me, found out that she was having a girl and revealed that she’d be named Isabel.

My only thought was “Fair dos, we’ll have a rethink” and to tell her what a lovely name it was.

Of course, now my daughter has half a dozen friends called Izzy, Isobel, Isabelle, and knows a couple with the same name as her. No one cares.

[Noodlenosefraggle]

If you ditch her as a friend, problem solved! Snd you get rid of a spoilt, irritating time thief in the process. Win win in my book

[curlsnotfrizz]

just disengage about this whole thing. You don't need her permission to use the name you want to use. Just go ahead. She doesn't sound like a friend in any case. Good riddance.

[TestingTestingWonTooFree]

Is it worth having a word with her DH when he delivers the make up? Tell him you’re concerned about her and what she’s been doing.

[crispysausagerolls]

I’m so pleased for you that you have photo evidence that you mentioned the name first!

But then, I am a maniac who tells everyone the name I want to use as soon as I know/am remotely pregnant, to make sure people know I’m not copying anyone else 🤣 was a squeaky bum time for me when Prince Louis was born 2 months before DS and his name was on the bookies’ list.

[CuppaZa]

I’m irritable as I can’t sleep, so right now I’d tell her to fuck off with her shit

[PorpentinaScamander]

What is it about naming children that sends people completely batshit . We didn't tell anyone our chosen names until baby was born. Mind you we didn't have definite names until they arrived. Just short-lists. Even then ds2 was named a name that I was definitely not going to use.

When I was pregnant with ds2, my now ex-SIL was also pregnant. She was due 4 months after me and knew she was having a boy. I didn't know the sex.
She told me they were calling their DS Horatio. Then when he was born they called him Arthur. I asked why they changed their minds, as she had been adamant he would be Horatio. She said "well Mum and me were sure you would steal my sons name just to spite me so we lied about it just in case"
Actually the opposite was true and I wouldn't have picked whatever they had (I think cousins sharing a name would be a bit much). It could have backfired too! Imagine if Arthur had been top of my list

(Not real names)

[eaglejulesk]

@Mckmck123 - I'm sorry to hear about your brother. What an awful woman his ex is. I don't think there is anything to be done from a legal point of view but I would keep reminding her about the money.

[eaglejulesk]

She sounds like a spoiled child. Give your baby the name you chose, ignore her ridiculous comments, and to be honest I wouldn't want a friend like this.