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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think the orthodontist is rude

352 replies

Itsmum2000 · 09/03/2020 12:44

Hi,

DS (18) has overbite and has been receiving orthodontic treatment for it since July 2018.

His orthodontist has always come across as very sarcastic and unprofessional.

A few months after the start of the treatment she recommended he get one of his upper side teeth removed to allow space for the bite to reduce, she didn’t provide DS with enough info about this at the time so he refused and then she made sarcastic comments like “oh you’re a man with a plan” “why come here anymore if you won’t get this simple procedure done”

Eventually, he did get it done and then she started to be reasonable again. (Ok I do get why she may be annoyed that he refused to get his tooth extracted, but she didn’t provide him with enough facts and she didn’t need to be blunt about it)

Anyway, he was in again today and he had broken his braces as he was removing plaque a couple of days ago with a dental hook and the wire came off and he tried to put it back in again and it wouldn’t go in.

I told him to tell the orthodontist that he was eating corn on the cob and it came off due to that, which he did and she didn’t believe it.

She didn’t directly say that, she just said “oh well that’s the most dangerous corn on the cob I’ve come across, “I think it’s had a little assistance”

So obviously she knew he was lying but DS thinks that was rude? AWBU?

He also asked her if the braces could come off soon and she apparently bluntly said no and her tone kind of made it sound like it was unreasonable that he was even asking for the braces to come off.

P.s I’m asking this on DS’ behalf

OP posts:

GinDrinker00 · 09/03/2020 12:47

To be honest he shouldn’t of lied, they know when your lying there experts for a reason. However can’t he see someone else? They seem rather unprofessional.

Wolfiefan · 09/03/2020 12:48

He shouldn’t have lied. She probably thinks it’s deliberate and he’s wasting her time.

ChelseaCat · 09/03/2020 12:49

Why the need to lie?! Surely any dentist would applaud him for taking his time to remove plaque?!

LIZS · 09/03/2020 12:51

What was the point of lying though? He shouldn't be eating food like corn on cob with a brace anyway, cleaning would have been better. ds consultant orthodontist was sharp and rude to her staff as well as patients, fortunately he rarely saw her during treatment.

ArriettyJones · 09/03/2020 12:54

So you’re both so scared of the orthodontist (that is costing you £££s, presumably) that you told your DSs to to tell a lie to the orthodontist, that she did not believe and she then went back to sarcasm (a habit of hers).

Isn’t the obvious thing to do to change to a politer orthodontist?

Lidon · 09/03/2020 12:56

She might have been trying to use a light hearted way to find out the truth so that she could advise a way to prevent it happening again

LoafEater · 09/03/2020 12:57

I wonder if this woman is at the same practice as the one my sons use. She was always a bit shirty and sarky, but was one day so rude to my older son when her went for the last visit, that I called and spoke with the practice manager to say I no longer wanted my younger son treated by her.

The owner called me back and we had a nice chat, where I explained that I was not happy and didn't want to deal with a rude person for another 18 months. He sees my youngest son and its all fine. I got the impression that I was not the first customer to have this conversation with him. Just see someone else in the practice or go somewhere else. Life is too short to deal with dickheads.

Honeybee85 · 09/03/2020 12:58

She doesn’t sound very nice!
If your DS feels uncomfortable with her, perhaps it’s time to find another orthodontist. He should feel comfortable with his healthcare provider.

RedRedWines · 09/03/2020 13:02

But why would you encourage him to tell her a pointless lie?

From her perspective she’s a professional and there is a teenager who comes in, thinks he knows better with regards to tooth extraction and then also thinks she’s an idiot who can be fobbed off with an obvious lie about breaking the braces?

DivGirl · 09/03/2020 13:03

If he doesn't like her find another.

That said nothing about your post strikes me as overtly rude. I think it's more likely a clash in personalities/expectations.

drinkygin · 09/03/2020 13:05

I don’t think she’s rude or unprofessional. Really weird that your son lied though.

Original poster

Itsmum2000 · 09/03/2020 13:05

@ArriettyJones we aren’t paying for it, he started treatment before he was 18 so NHS is funding it.

Yes he should have just told the truth, he was getting anxious as he thought she’d be horrible to him if she found out he broke them using a dental hook as he probably shouldn’t have done that so I said ok then just say you ate a corn on the cob.

She has been rude plenty of times before, as I have described in my OP.

Whether we or the NHS is paying for the treatment, patients deserve to be treated with kindness and no sarcastic remarks.

OP posts:

Original poster

Itsmum2000 · 09/03/2020 13:08

@drinkygin Because he knew she’d be funny about it.

Her little assistant and her were smirking when she said that. Tell me you still think she’s professional?

OP posts:

Original poster

Itsmum2000 · 09/03/2020 13:10

@DivGirl but she is rude. So you’re saying if your consultant didn’t provide you with facts regarding surgery and you refused and then they came back to you with “well then why continue” you wouldn’t think it is rude?

OP posts:

arethereanyleftatall · 09/03/2020 13:13

Yabu

Original poster

Itsmum2000 · 09/03/2020 13:13

@RedRedWines eh he has never once thought He knew better than the orthodontist - as I said, he refused the extraction originally because she didn’t make it exactly clear as to why it needed to be done and his point of view was that he didn’t want healthy teeth removed.

And no he wasn’t treating her as stupid by lying, he was anxious that she would be awkward with him if he told her the truth as she’d probably accuse him of deliberately wrecking the brace wire by picking at his teeth with a dental hook

OP posts:

Clangus00 · 09/03/2020 13:14

If you think she's rude, go elsewhere.

ShirleyPhallus · 09/03/2020 13:15

You told him to lie. She knew he was lying and called him out.

Go elsewhere if you don’t like her but unfair to tell your son to tell pointless lies!

greenemerald · 09/03/2020 13:17

I work at an orthodontic practise. I'd prefer if my patients were honest when they break their braces. Corn on the cob isn't allowed during treatment so I'd much rather be told it was done due to cleaning! However I agree her bedside manner could be better! If you feel you aren't getting on with her then you can always request to see someone else.

Fr0g · 09/03/2020 13:19

Your son shouldn't have lied
You should not have encouraged your son to lie

And you accuse her on not being professional???

Original poster

Itsmum2000 · 09/03/2020 13:19

@greenemerald yeah I did tell him to tell her the truth but he didn’t want to in case she didn’t was awkward about it.

And she quickly shut down the conversation when he asked if they were nearly ready to come off.

If DS wants his braces off in the next few months, can she refuse to take them off?

OP posts:

Original poster

Itsmum2000 · 09/03/2020 13:20

@Fr0g he lied because she is in fact unprofessional and isn’t nice or understanding and is belittling! Maybe if she was compassionate he would feel comfortable telling the truth!

OP posts:

Deadringer · 09/03/2020 13:21

Sounds like she doesn't have a great bedside manner, or perhaps she is one of those people who attempts to use humour to lighten the mood but it always falls flat. Or maybe your ds is a bit sensitive, it's hard to say. On the other hand, I am on my 4th DC with braces and it has cost many thousands, I would kiss her feet if I got it done for free. Oh and my DC all had to have extractions, they weren't thrilled about it but they didn't question expert advice. I think you and ds are being unreasonable, just a little bit.

Bbang · 09/03/2020 13:23

The lie about the sweetcorn is a red herring here, what’s important is that she’s sarcastic and borderline nasty to your child. That to me is unreasonable, did you say you’d spoken to the practice manager? I would ask to make the informal chat into a formal complaint. That kind of behaviour to a minor with anxious so unreasonable and damaging, he shouldn’t have to put up with it or leave the practice where all his treatment has been, she should make an effort to be polite.

Original poster

Itsmum2000 · 09/03/2020 13:25

@Bbang thank you. DS said he is going to ring reception this afternoon and ask if he can be assigned to another orthodontist in that surgery

OP posts:

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