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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think the orthodontist is rude

352 replies

Itsmum2000 · 09/03/2020 12:44

Hi,

DS (18) has overbite and has been receiving orthodontic treatment for it since July 2018.

His orthodontist has always come across as very sarcastic and unprofessional.

A few months after the start of the treatment she recommended he get one of his upper side teeth removed to allow space for the bite to reduce, she didn’t provide DS with enough info about this at the time so he refused and then she made sarcastic comments like “oh you’re a man with a plan” “why come here anymore if you won’t get this simple procedure done”

Eventually, he did get it done and then she started to be reasonable again. (Ok I do get why she may be annoyed that he refused to get his tooth extracted, but she didn’t provide him with enough facts and she didn’t need to be blunt about it)

Anyway, he was in again today and he had broken his braces as he was removing plaque a couple of days ago with a dental hook and the wire came off and he tried to put it back in again and it wouldn’t go in.

I told him to tell the orthodontist that he was eating corn on the cob and it came off due to that, which he did and she didn’t believe it.

She didn’t directly say that, she just said “oh well that’s the most dangerous corn on the cob I’ve come across, “I think it’s had a little assistance”

So obviously she knew he was lying but DS thinks that was rude? AWBU?

He also asked her if the braces could come off soon and she apparently bluntly said no and her tone kind of made it sound like it was unreasonable that he was even asking for the braces to come off.

P.s I’m asking this on DS’ behalf

OP posts:
Arthur2shedsJackson · 11/03/2020 14:00

At 18 your son is old enough to vote and to fight and die for his country. And yet you’re treating him like a snowflake whose mummy fights all his battles for him. Get real, get a grip and leave him to fight his own battles, real or imaginary.

DownToTheSeaAgain · 11/03/2020 14:09

Honestly if you are unhappy how your adult son has been treated then send him to another orthodontist.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 11/03/2020 14:09

Ffs some people are so bloody dramatic. I love it 😂

viques · 11/03/2020 14:11

If you are still involved in his care to the extent that you suggest lying to his dentist then why didn't you ask why the extraction was advised? Personally I think anyone who is brass necked enough to lie should be able to ask a question for themself, but that's my opinion. I'm assuming that for some reason both of you are unable to google " why did an orthodontist advise tooth extraction "

bemusedmoose · 11/03/2020 14:41

you aren't even allowed to eat corn on the cob with a brace anyway so what was the point in changing the story from a teeth cleaning accident to ignoring the rules of having braces? That would be making the situation worse! Pretty lost on why you did that but hey. She's an orthodontist presumably for sometime, she has seen all the busted braces you can imagine so im guessing she can tell the difference between how different breaks happen and knows it's a lie. I'd be annoyed at being lied to as well - she's trying to help him and he cant be honest.

She told him he needed a tooth out to make space - that's the info you need surely? What more info could he need - there isn't enough space in his mouth to move the teeth so one needs to go. Sounds more like he did the usual boy thing and only heard tooth out and decided no. Though that was in 2018 so he would have been 16 so assume you would have had to be there with him but you only mention your son not having info.

Being sarcastic isn't necessarily rude but cant be misinterpreted. I would say she is trying to be humorous and failing. But she has a point - why come for treatment and refuse it? She has pointed out she knows he is telling a lie in a light hearted manner, not sure how that is rude, more like he is feeling crap for being caught out.

My son was told 2 years for his braces and was surprised when they were off in 12 months. Our orthodontist is South African with a very dry sarcastic sense of humour - I think he's funny, always makes me laugh and is an excellent orthodontist but by son never gets a word of what he says and the humour is completely lost on him so it could just be that an accent or humour isn't conveying the message she intends.

In all honesty though - you don't like the way she is but have still continued to pay her for her services for 2 years. Just find another one or ignore the comments.

FrankieDoyle · 11/03/2020 17:24

I think YABU encouraging your son to lie.

EngagedAgain · 11/03/2020 17:42

The OP or son didn't really need to lie, but sometimes these things just slip out. Anyway, if it were true he was eating corn ON the cob, it's quite feasable brace could get damaged. I can only conclude they are not very good liars, 😚, which means they aren't well practiced at it, and therefore don't make a habit of it. So, perhaps they haven't committed such a heinous crime!

Hoggleludo · 11/03/2020 17:47

Oh my gosh. This is still going!!! I read the op said she was going to get it deleted.

They've deleted about 7 others in the time frame since

Piglet89 · 11/03/2020 17:57

Just be thankful your dental professional isn’t this dude:

m.youtube.com/watch?v=bOtMizMQ6oM

Itsmum2000 · 11/03/2020 19:05

They won’t delete the thread because it doesn’t violate the MN rules which is ridiculous because it’s my thread and I want it deleted

OP posts:
NorthEndGal · 11/03/2020 19:06

I'm picturing a foot stomp at the end of that

mbosnz · 11/03/2020 19:06

Yes, but it's their website, so they get to say whether it gets deleted or not. . . website trumps thread. . .

Itsmum2000 · 11/03/2020 19:08

Still my thread though

OP posts:
mbosnz · 11/03/2020 19:10

Absolutely! So you delete it if you want - and can Smile

Itsmum2000 · 11/03/2020 19:11

I can’t because they won’t allow me which is so silly

OP posts:
mbosnz · 11/03/2020 19:15

What's that prayer 'give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference'. . .

Itsmum2000 · 11/03/2020 19:17

What would violate the rules? If I violate the rules then they have to delete the thread

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 11/03/2020 19:19

Or you could leave the thread, no one will post and it won’t show up on active and it’ll die out.
Or keep posting, determined to have the last word and it’ll keep going.
Guessing the apple didn’t fall far from the tree here. Hmm

Cohle · 11/03/2020 19:38

You agreed to the Terms of Use OP...

FaithHowells · 12/03/2020 08:27

😂 another one of those
OP: aibu?
Nearly everyone: Yes!
OP: no I'm not and I'll argue with everyone single one of you to show just how reasonable I am!

Rosebel · 12/03/2020 09:25

Interesting people don't think the orthodontist was rude yet if a,retail worker has said that people would be up in arms. You only have to read some of the other threads to see that

Squigean · 12/03/2020 13:10

I wouldn't be up in arms if the retail worker had been dealing with a jumped up pup.

When rudeness is reactionary I have more sympathy. Might not be professional, but I understand the reason.

annamie · 12/03/2020 14:31

Still my thread though

I take it back, your son’s not a brat, you are.

Hoggleludo · 12/03/2020 16:38

They will delete any thread you want!!!

They will delete any post you put

Pile of shite!!!! Straight up lie.

Hoggleludo · 12/03/2020 16:40

Let's see where they told you they wouldn't delete it?!?

Swipe left for the next trending thread