To think the orthodontist is rude

[Itsmum2000]

Hi,

DS (18) has overbite and has been receiving orthodontic treatment for it since July 2018.

His orthodontist has always come across as very sarcastic and unprofessional.

A few months after the start of the treatment she recommended he get one of his upper side teeth removed to allow space for the bite to reduce, she didn’t provide DS with enough info about this at the time so he refused and then she made sarcastic comments like “oh you’re a man with a plan” “why come here anymore if you won’t get this simple procedure done”

Eventually, he did get it done and then she started to be reasonable again. (Ok I do get why she may be annoyed that he refused to get his tooth extracted, but she didn’t provide him with enough facts and she didn’t need to be blunt about it)

Anyway, he was in again today and he had broken his braces as he was removing plaque a couple of days ago with a dental hook and the wire came off and he tried to put it back in again and it wouldn’t go in.

I told him to tell the orthodontist that he was eating corn on the cob and it came off due to that, which he did and she didn’t believe it.

She didn’t directly say that, she just said “oh well that’s the most dangerous corn on the cob I’ve come across, “I think it’s had a little assistance”

So obviously she knew he was lying but DS thinks that was rude? AWBU?

He also asked her if the braces could come off soon and she apparently bluntly said no and her tone kind of made it sound like it was unreasonable that he was even asking for the braces to come off.

P.s I’m asking this on DS’ behalf

20 months really is not that long to correct it. There is no point having them removed and teeth whitened if they move back in a year. Is he committed to wearing a retainer long term?

He's 18, it'll stand him in good stead for later life that you can't tell lies and expect people to be happy about it. Think of it as a valuable life lesson for him OP (and don't encourage him to tell lies).

Am i the only one who thinks “oh well that’s the most dangerous corn on the cob I’ve come across, “I think it’s had a little assistance” is rather funny

It is quite funny actually.

As far as he is concerned? He isn't a a orthodontist though is he? His teeth could be back to how they were within months of early removal.

I think the fact you called the dental nurse "his little assistant" says it all really.

Orthodontists have years of training, it takes about 10 years to train to be an orthodontist. The fact you think you know better than someone with years of training and expertise, they aren't keeping your DSs braces on for the fun of it, it will need micro adjustments. His bite might need adjustment etc

You encouraged your DS to lie to her. How can she effectively treat your DS is he won't tell her the truth, orthodontic treatment costs the NHS 1000s your DS needs to have some respect for the treatment he's getting and the healthcare professionals delivering it. He's not fully engaging with his treatment.

You've never met her yet you say she comes across as 'sarcastic and unprofessional'.

Again, all her fault your DS didn't chose to have his tooth out. Because she didn't give enough information. Yet your DS could have asked? I'm sensing a total lack of responsibility for anything from you.

So she sounds antagonistic, but maybe because she's having to redo treatment that the taxpayer has paid for that has relapsed because your son didn't wear his retainers.

I'd be grateful. There are patients in the NHS that could really do with the extra few grand it's costing.

The lesson for your child here is not to listen to you as it will get him in trouble. You are not doing him any favours.

Your son is an adult! He is going to have to deal with unpleasant people in his life/ workplace.
He is old enough to "fight his own battles" and change dentist if he feels it's apt! She is doing a good job sorting his teeth so I would leave it. They haven't got to be friends... she's providing a service (for free!!) let it go and cut the apron strings a bit!

What @DishRanAwayWithTheSpoon said and also, your son is BVU for using in your words "a dental hook" to remove plaque. If this is a sickle scaler ( one wonders where this was obtained from) then he is extremely irresponsible. He has no idea what he's doing with that, he's not a therapist, hygienist, dentist or orthodontist and it's no wonder he's broken his wire. Under no circumstances should he be using anything other than TePes or a toothbrush for oral hygiene with braces on. You best prepare yourself for a bill, because a broken orthodontic appliance is a £79 fee.
Your orthodontist is probably going to deboned him for non-compliance with any of his treatment, so I wouldn't worry about asking her to take it off.

Just about one of the most ridiculous things I've heard, fancy removing plaque with a "dental hook" when you've wearing orthodontic appliances and you're not dentally trained. Downright bloody stupid.

So, you've had to speak to his school many times over the years and you think his orthodontist is unkind?
This thread reminds me of that expression - if you meet one person who's an arsehole, they're probably an arsehole, if you meet lots of people who are arseholes, it's probably you.
At my dds orthodontist, there's loads of thank you cards on the shelf in appreciation of the work their children have got for free.

Why are you going in to an 18yr olds dental appointments with him?

@arethereanyleftatall sorry but that’s irrelevant. You don’t know anything about his school life and That’s not why I made this thread is it?

And maybe your dds orthodontist is nice? That’s like saying because your dog is vicious that all dogs are vicious! Simply doesn’t work that way does it

Can you not see the irony of your own statement OP? 🙄 Yourself and your adult son are accusing the orthodontist being rude for apparently not explaining about the advised tooth removal... And yet there you are advising your son to be rude and a liar instead of honest about pulling his wire out. He's then been caught out in his deceit, and to compound things further you and your adult son are then also accusing the dentist of again being rude because she knew he was lying! 😂 Brass neck!!! Maybe you could request switching to an orthodontist who specialises in making animals from balloons and magic tricks to entertain your 18yr old, instead of you know? Fixing his teeth...

She sounds a little insecure and seems to mock people in the hope they just give in and don't challenge her.
Ask your son to search best face forward, cranial facial distrophy and doctor mew. There's controversy about teeth removal and how it affects snoring, airways etc.

I’m only a few years older than your son, I’m a bit bemused that you attend his medical appointments with him. At that age I booked and went to appointments by myself, my parents gave me a lift on the odd occasion but they wouldn’t come into the appointment with me. He’s an adult after all. What will he do if he moves elsewhere for uni for example, he needs to learn to be independent.

Obviously you both clash with this orthodontist so perhaps request another.

You gave terrible advice by suggesting that he lies. How is he actually supposed to obtain accurate medical advice? Your useless advice works to his detriment. If he told the truth, perhaps she would have showed him how to clean them whilst avoiding damage or perhaps she may have looked into if they were attached correctly to begin with etc. Or if anything, you could have stepped up as a responsible parent and just explained the truth of what happened if he was that anxious to do it himself.

@mnthrowaway2020 I don’t attend any of medical appointments, I haven’t done so since he was 16!

Guys I guess I’ll just call the police and report him for telling a small lie to his orthodontist. Even though her coldness put him off being open and honest with her.

Fucking hell...what a fuss over nothing...
Like you say, you haven't met the orthodontist, so this whole drip fed tedium could have been averted had you given this information to begin with.
Your son is 18 and can complain and/or request a new Orthodontist (and 'little assistant'!) and not rely upon Mummy to provide him either with lies or a solution. 😁😉

Op I can see where you are coming from, it sounds like her bedside manner isn't the greatest, BUT please let the orthodontist decide when braces come off, i speak from bitter experience! I thought my overbite was corrected and stopped treatment after 22 months as my teeth looked fab, I'm now paying almost 4K to have braces again 😖

I'd go with your son next time and see for yourself as I work with 18-24 year olds and what they tell you can be miles apart from what they tell their healthcare provider / tutor etc 😊

You have no clue about her manner, other than what your son tells her. And clearly, he tends to view things very much through his lens, and it seems that nothing is ever his fault. And of course, he knows the business of orthodontristry far much better than the actual qualified person that's working on his teeth courtesy of the tax payer.

. . . what your son tells you. Not her.

a pity you don't have the same system as we have in Germany where you pay for the treatment and upon completeion you get 95% refunded.

As far as he is concerned his braces have worked. He has said that braces make him self conscious and he just wants them off so that he can go get his teeth whitened

oh god, your son is going to be the trainee/new graduate that everyone wants to stab because after a day at work he'll know everything better than everyone else.

I've just had a load of dental work done. (after years of not going). The dentist examined me, did X-Rays and worked out a treatment plan for me, at no point did I question why the professional wanted to extract or fill certain teeth.

Why would your DS think she wanted to randomly extract a healthy tooth if not to help with his treatment?

You sound like a total twat.

No way you're a nurse OP-pull the other one, you've got zero insight.