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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think the orthodontist is rude

352 replies

Itsmum2000 · 09/03/2020 12:44

Hi,

DS (18) has overbite and has been receiving orthodontic treatment for it since July 2018.

His orthodontist has always come across as very sarcastic and unprofessional.

A few months after the start of the treatment she recommended he get one of his upper side teeth removed to allow space for the bite to reduce, she didn’t provide DS with enough info about this at the time so he refused and then she made sarcastic comments like “oh you’re a man with a plan” “why come here anymore if you won’t get this simple procedure done”

Eventually, he did get it done and then she started to be reasonable again. (Ok I do get why she may be annoyed that he refused to get his tooth extracted, but she didn’t provide him with enough facts and she didn’t need to be blunt about it)

Anyway, he was in again today and he had broken his braces as he was removing plaque a couple of days ago with a dental hook and the wire came off and he tried to put it back in again and it wouldn’t go in.

I told him to tell the orthodontist that he was eating corn on the cob and it came off due to that, which he did and she didn’t believe it.

She didn’t directly say that, she just said “oh well that’s the most dangerous corn on the cob I’ve come across, “I think it’s had a little assistance”

So obviously she knew he was lying but DS thinks that was rude? AWBU?

He also asked her if the braces could come off soon and she apparently bluntly said no and her tone kind of made it sound like it was unreasonable that he was even asking for the braces to come off.

P.s I’m asking this on DS’ behalf

OP posts:
cansu · 09/03/2020 15:04

She is so unpleasant that your ds feels he can't be honest with her. I have a dentist who is a bit of a twat but I am confident enough to push back. I would change.

OrganicSmorganic · 09/03/2020 15:07

I think you’re being quite over sensitive!

ShirleyPhallus · 09/03/2020 15:08

If you’re teaching your son to lie then how are you so sure that he’s telling the truth about this? Despite having never even met the orthodontist?

billy1966 · 09/03/2020 15:14

OP, did she remove a healthy second tooth?

MatildaTheCat · 09/03/2020 15:19

DS had braces for an overbite and they were removed quite quickly. He never wore his retainers properly and his teeth all migrated back from whence they began.

It’s a great matter of regret to me, and now to him, too.

Keep the braces until the orthodontist considers they should come off.

She sounds a little ascerbic but frankly, he’s being a pain and not for the first time.

LIZS · 09/03/2020 15:19

I don't understand why, particularly if you have had concerns about the treatment plan, you have never attended any appointments.

JellyfishandShells · 09/03/2020 15:23

what exactly is that meant to mean? Are you one of those parents that looks down their nose at others? And their children are spoilt brats?

Keep digging, OP 😂

Ouchaheadinmybehind · 09/03/2020 15:28

I hated DS orthodontist. Very arrogant & superior.

However, the reason for having a tooth removed is pretty obvious and you/he could have asked the question why. Maybe go in with him and sit there whilst he’s next seen?

If DS wants his braces off in the next few months, can she refuse to take them off?

It would be a shame, after having them on so long, to not finish the process. Are you aware the teeth can just move back and that he will have to wear a retainer overnight after braces are removed to prevent this? Although I hated the smug orthodontist, my DS’s teeth look amazing now.

damnthatanxiety · 09/03/2020 15:31

Wolfiefan you are being intentionally obtuse and just not at all helpful. The world is so full of anger and hate and nastiness. Don't add to it. Be better than this.

1forsorrow · 09/03/2020 15:33

I wonder if it is the same orthodontist my kids had. She was truly terrifying and well known for it. Then DD had surgery to correct her jaw and the scary orthodontist was lovely, came and sat with her on the ward and gave us advice.

She was sarky though.

Rosebel · 09/03/2020 15:33

I have had a tooth removed at the dentist and they have me a leaflet and explained the treatment so if the orthodontist didn't do this then they were wrong. Again if OPs son is scared of the orthodontist then they are clearly not very good at their job, they should putting him at ease not worrying him so much he feels he has lie.
I can't see where OPs son asked to finish treatment early just if it would end soon. He's entitled to ask how long he needs the brace for.I would get him ask again and say he would like an answer. If it'll be off in a couple of months probably worth sticking with it. If it's longer then ask for a different orthodontist

1forsorrow · 09/03/2020 15:40

Please don't encourage him to get the braces off too early, it is such a shame to let all that hard work go to waste. He will get retainers when the time is right. DD had hers removed 12 years ago and her teeth haven't moved at all. They won't want to keep seeing him for longer than necessary, they have long waiting lists as you probably found out when waiting for your first appointment.

You can ask to see someone else, I've been there when DDs orthodontist had a phone call from a parent who wanted a change. She said fine but they'd still need to clean their teeth whoever they saw. I assume child had a telling off for not cleaning their teeth properly. No names mentioned so no breach of confidentiality.

Wolfiefan · 09/03/2020 15:41

Haha @damnthatanxiety
Nah. I’m alright.
I agree with a PP.
Odious.

Jakadaal · 09/03/2020 15:46

I'm sorry you are getting such a hard time OP. I felt my son's NHS orthodontist was unprofessional with him (he was verbally quite aggressive) and I asked to be changed to another orthodontist in the practice. I had to push as they were resistant but I stated that if it was me having treatment I would refuse to receive it from this professional.
We changed orthodontist and ds is about to finish treatment after a long 5 years.

The services are commissioned by NHS England - if you aren't happy ask for a copy of the complaints process and the commissioners details.

Do not get him to stop treatment before completion as he will need retainers otherwise the teeth will move.

FloofenHoofen · 09/03/2020 15:46

Sorry but what more clarity do you need when you're told a tooth has to be removed for braces treatment?! Confused

EverythingChanges321 · 09/03/2020 15:48

OP, having an inferiority/superiority complex is a definite British trait, and is especially prevalent here on AIBU.

I don’t know any parent amongst my friends who would put up with her ridiculous patronising attitude.

Just ask to change practitioners and if asked, point out that on numerous occasions she has displayed an unprofessional dismissive attitude towards the patient, that is simply not acceptable.

EverythingChanges321 · 09/03/2020 15:54

I have Orthodontic treatment 3 times, (different practitioners) the last lot when I was in my early 40’s via the Dental Hospital and it still hasn’t worked. I had 2 top teeth removed and there’s still an obvious gap each side 40 years later.
My smile is weird looking but at least my teeth are healthy.

Fact is, it doesn’t always work for everyone. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Dramalady52 · 09/03/2020 15:59

Not in Essex are you, OP? Sounds like the orthodontist who dealt with my dd's braces.

Yurona · 09/03/2020 16:08

Am i the only one who thinks “oh well that’s the most dangerous corn on the cob I’ve come across, “I think it’s had a little assistance” is rather funny? Especially in the context of a blatant lie, its a rather mild response

Peasfox · 09/03/2020 16:13

Am i the only one who thinks “oh well that’s the most dangerous corn on the cob I’ve come across, “I think it’s had a little assistance” is rather funny

I did too but I’ve got a dry sense of humour 🤣

EngagedAgain · 09/03/2020 16:17

It does sound like the orthodontist hasn't got a very good manner, and if you're not happy with her and quite a while to go, perhaps change to another if you can. On the lying issue, it's not a big deal. We all tell little white lies sometimes!

user68901 · 09/03/2020 16:26

The teeth may look straight and over bite may be reduced. But once teeth have been moved the orthodontist may need to continue treatment to get the bite correct for example, so it’s not always as simple as what you see.
To be honest he sounds like he’s not been overly invested in all this, how likely is he to wear his retainer ?

mbosnz · 09/03/2020 16:27

And sometimes we get caught out in 'our little white lie', by someone who is disinclined to pretend to believe it. . .

motherheroic · 09/03/2020 16:27

Maybe she is impatient because she feels like you are wasting her time. No tooth extraction and then lying about eating corn on the cob that someone with braces shouldn't be eating anyway. And now deciding that his teeth 'look fine' so his treatment should end?

Probably can't wait to see the back of you guys to be honest.

Itsmum2000 · 09/03/2020 16:43

He is self conscious of his smile. That is why he got braces in the first place.

As far as he is concerned his braces have worked. He has said that braces make him self conscious and he just wants them off so that he can go get his teeth whitened

OP posts: