Am I the only woman in the UK whose..

[LovelyIssues]

Husband has NEVER seen them completely without makeup. Been together 11 years..

Main reason why is I have roscea, acne scars, awful redness and uneven skin.. I hate it and try and hide it as much as possible so I can honestly say he's never without even a bit of foundation on

Well unless you're Charlotte Tilbury, you're definitely not the only woman in the UK, because she also says her husband has never seen her without makeup.

I do understand OP, because I also have rosacea and I hate it, but this sounds exhausting. I won't say that your husband won't notice, because my husband sees me with and without makeup, and if I'm having a massive rosacea flush he does ask if I'm OK and if I'm hot, but he doesn't love me any the less!

Is this perhaps related to your own feelings about your skin? You may be assuming your husband would mind, but I bet you he wouldn't notice it nearly as much as you do. When you are uncomfortable with your skin, it's easy to look in the mirror and immediately focus on your flaws, but other people don't see that, they just see you as a whole person. How many times have your friends said to you "I look terrible in that photo", but when you look at it you just think they look happy or lovely? We see ourselves differently from the way other people view us. Sorry if that sounds horribly cheesy but I honestly believe that's the case.

@LovelyIssues and @flossiewossie124 do you both sleep on your backs? How does the makeup not rub off during the night into the pillow, leaving you barefaced?

Sounds exhausting and I really feel for you and it's no way to live. I agree with others that you definitely need to visit a dermatologist via referral or privately asap.

Additionally, there are some excellent dermatologist's on YouTube giving great advice about all of the concerns you've mentioned. I watched and followed their advice and managed to clear my skin of acne scarring, hyperpigmentation and dehydrated skin so now rarely wear makeup. I recommend that you look them up:

Dr Dray - USA based dermatologist she's very active on social media, posts loads of videos with very detailed advice and she has tested nearly all of the most popular/easily accessible skincare products.

Dr Sam Bunting - UK based dermatologist, she has her own product line so always recommend's her products which are on the mid-point range. But she provides good practical self care advice.

Dr Davin Lim - he's an Australian dermatologist & gives really good practical self care advice and usually recommends affordable skincare brands available in places like boots, superdrug: The Ordinary, LaRoche Posay, Cerave.....

My husband never saw me with makeup ON! in 38 years of marriage and before.

Ha, ha - mine didn't either, I only wore it on my wedding day and then it was very minimal.

So you think he’d leave you if he saw you without makeup?

OP he married you, presumably he loves you. Agree with others, sit him down some day and ask him if he's ever noticed that you always wear makeup. He probably hasn't cos in my experience (30 years married) men just aren't very observant.

Have you had any treatment at all? I know nothing about rosacea but had very bad acne and scarring from teens through 20s. Made my life miserable for a long time but eventually I went to gp, got treated, and combined with experimenting with lots of beauty treatments I got things under control. Some scars still there but not so noticeable. Almost always wear makeup during the day unless not going out.

I do feel that wearing cosmetics 24/7 can't be good for your skin though. Have that conversation with your DH

I think this says more about your relationship than your skin issues.
Not feeling comfortable with someone after 11 years is concerning.

IME a lot of men do notice and even comment if there is something unexpected, it's never pleasant to hear - they may still want to be with you, but it takes a special one to be really good about it and encouraging/reassuring despite it not looking good (a dream man really!).

Your this is a really sad statement. And I think wholly untrue.

OP please have a look at Talontedlex on Instagram instagram.com/talontedlex?igshid=102mjqjwxhf2s

I have rosacea and have gone through spells of removing makeup before bed, trying vicks, sudocreme, hazelnut oil, normal moisturiser, cheap stuff, expensive stuff.

It doesn't make much difference to my skin if I take my makeup off before bed or not.

You could start with a picture of yourself, if doing it face to face was too much to start with.

I know women who until they go into labour, their DPs haven't seen them without makeup. So you aren't the only one.

I have rosacea and scars and my husbands never seen me with make up on. I just dont care my skin is that why and no amount of make up will chance it x

When you say you have tried so much, have you seen a dermatologist?

Add up how much you have spent, and do spend on skincare. Compare this to seeing a dermatologist privately. Probably you are spending more on skincare and makeup now that isn't working, than you would seeing an actual expert.

There is a lot of treatment out there for roseacea that didn't used to exist. Don't keep paying for shite from the beauty counter.

I went to work once makeup free and I was asked if I was ill!

One of the reasons I never bothered with makeup was that a friend of mine actually didn't answer the door one day, because she didn't have makeup on. She didn't let anyone see her without it (and she didn't have any sort of skin condition).
I never ever wanted to be dependent on having a 'look' that people thought was normal for me, but wasn't me, and which I had to be scared of being without.
It seemed a really stressful (and time-consuming) way to live life.

I do understand, OP, that your skin condition makes things tougher for you, but I don't understand people who don't have to consider that, living their life that way.

I think that is quite sad. Surely your partner is the one person who you can totally be yourself with and see you as you really are.

My skin isn't great and I always wear foundation when I go out but indoors I never do. DH has said he thinks I look great without makeup and that he thinks my skin is fine. That honestly makes me feel good

Remember OP that you will see your face in a more negative way than everyone else. Those blemishes, marks and redness that look so appalling to you will not register in the same way when someone else is looking at you. Be brave and let him see you, he won’t care, he loves you.

OP I never let my DH see me without makeup until I was pregnant and so ill I couldn't manage to put it on

Completely understand what your saying. Your not alone

I'm the same, I have roscea and never take my make up off before bed for this reason.

This totally reminded me of The Marvellous Mrs Maisel.

I think it's really cute, there's something very sweet about still wanting to look your best for your husband after all these years. But it might be time to gently reveal what you look like without makeup, I'm sure he married you for more than your skin tone.

(Also, in case you're looking for skincare tips, cutting out animal products and going vegan completely transformed my skin.)

I always wear makeup outside, but as soon as I'm home, it's off. I can't imagine how exhausting it would be to keep up appearances 24/7. My partner probably sees me at my worst - no makeup, glasses, "house clothes"!

I have quite bad skin on my face but if I wore foundation for even two days in a row my skin would break out in painful spots and soreness. It can't even handle moisturizer. The only thing that seems to clear it up is getting a bit of sun.

Charlotte Tilbury is all over google with her before & after make up photos.

That must be tough OP. I'm sure he is aware you are in hiding he won't be oblivious. I'm sure he loves you much more to be put off by uneven skin.
Is there any laser treatment available.

@AngelsOnHigh Fri 06-Mar-20 00:01:55
I work in healthcare and enormous steps have been made in treatment for your condition over the last 10 years. Maybe a referral to a specialist will help.

Can you give any specific examples/product info please?

My skin used to be like that. It was made worse by wearing makeup. I stopped when I had children, i just didn't have the time and energy for it. My skin looks brilliant now. I never wear makeup anymore. Can't you you start by taking it off when your husband's not there? Let your skin breath.

Unfortunately, you are making your skin worse by not cleansing it properly. I highly doubt he'll be as shocked as you think he will be- its obviously become this huge big deal in your mind.
I think this is a real shame OP, its fine to feel more comfortable with makeup (I love makeup!) but this is really unhealthy to feel such shame and fear that your own husband cant see you bare faced. I really think you need to work on your self esteem.
With regard to rosacea - have you tried laser treatment? sea buckthorn oil is a good treatment for it too- really takes the redness down