It’s EXACTLY these attitudes that made me so self conscious as a young teen that I would plaster my face with make up and cry myself to sleep because I had hormonal zits and a skin condition. I’m an adult now sure but as this thread has proven, it’s hard to feel better when you’re constantly bombarded with adverts and opinions about how just this one thing will give you that flawless look.
And I know people are saying to just be happy in your own skin - it’s easier said than done when you’ve NEVER been happy!
@MustardMitt @LovelyIssues
I think the above highlights that it's not really about the skin but how you feel about yourself. You can learn to love yourself even with the imperfections, and can manage to cope without every day feeling embarrassed and ashamed.
I have chronic plaque psoriasis covering (at the moment) about 70% of my body. My face included. I have had this condition since I was a few months old and I'm now approaching 60. I have spent many years of my life in hospital and all my life as a regular outpatient. I can't wear make up to cover it because the skin is extremely flakey so make up highlights it rather than covers it.
The worst time was being a teenager because you are a mass of insecurities generally then anyway. It takes lots of strength to get out of that place, but it can be done.
I spent most of my time up until I was in my 20s covering up and refusing to go out. I have 5 sisters none of whom have the condition and I always felt compared to them.
Gradually, as I got older, I realised that people weren't really looking, pointing or commenting on my skin. I pushed myself very hard to go out and socialise and, eventually, in my early 30s I went swimming and stopped wearing long sleeves and trousers all the time. The more I did it the more I could do it. I met my now DH when my skin was at its worst, I ended up with a 6 week stint in hospital just a couple of weeks after I met him. It took months of preparation for me to feel as good as possible on my wedding day, my skin wasn't totally clear but as good as I could get it. I always have psoriasis, it very rarely goes away completely but he doesn't love me any less on bad days/weeks/months.
I lived with the well meaning comments about treatments from other people. They don't mean anything really, they are just trying to be sympathetic and helpful. Just learn to nod and smile, or change the conversation.
In the end no one can help you with those feelings. It has to come from you. My brick wall which kept me from getting hurt from those well meaning people took a fair few years to break down.
The first step in this process is accepting your skin and start to change the things that you can. You are no less beautiful to your husband because you have a red face, or spots, or rashes. People don't think less of you because of it
There is no cure for psoriasis, nor for rosacea if I remember correctly. For your own piece of mind learning to live with it is the first step. Anything else (such as new treatments or less flare ups) is just a bonus.
I picked a day and went out. The next day I went out without looking at the floor and using my hair to cover my face. The next week I had my hair cut and walked a little taller. The next month I went out in short sleeves for the first time in my life. I made sure I knew about every treatment available, took trials in everything new to the market, saw my dermatologist every month. And gradually I got my life to a much better place. And, as with lots of these things, the less stress I put myself under the more good days I had.
I'm not saying it's easy, far from it. Even now on some days I have to really push myself hard to smile and get on with it. But you CAN do it. You NEED to do it or it will become all consuming and your life will be very stressful.
So taking make up of at night is a brilliant first step. But don't leave it too long before you take the next one, and the one after that, or those negative feelings will never get sidelined.
Trust your husband and the people you love to support you, but most of all trust yourself to be able to do it. And, whatever else you do, make sure you get a dermatologist who can, and will, support you every step of the way.
I don't know where you live but Chris Lovell and his team at Bath RUH are the most amazing, caring, empathetic dermatologist dept. I've cried in his office many times in the past 40yrs and he has done wonders for me and my self esteem.
Sorry for the essay but good luck for the future.